Attending child's birthday party

[Anonymous]

My kids are older teens. My brother's kids are 3 & 1. My SIL's siblings also all have multiple little kids, baby - age 5, very busy kids a little on the wild side.

It's my niece's 4th birthday and we are invited. Party is a 4 hour drive away.

My kids don't want to go, and I am traveling for work the week prior and it will be harried to get there. It will have to be a quick trip due to work.

If we go, we made the appearance, but mostly will just be me and my kids sitting together & snapping a few pics of my niece (its a disney princess party).

My kids want to go another weekend instead where we can actually just spend time with them and celebrate my niece's birthday then, and stay a few nights.

FWIW my niece won't notice we're not there or question it.

How much does this stuff matter to most people? It never bothered me or my friend group when my kids were little, but idk.

[Anonymous]

I really wouldn't care if you were my sibling. 4-hr drive is excessive for a kid's birthday, family or not.

[Anonymous]

I don’t even invite siblings to kid bday parties unless they live less than an hour away. They don’t expect you to actually attend if I had to guess.

Send a gift and arrange an alternate weekend.

[Anonymous]

It's a courtesy invite. They don't really expect you to go.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't care if you came or not. I would rather you came a time and we could actually spend a bit more time together.... Especially if the niece does not care or will notice if you're there or not

[Anonymous]

There is no way I would drive four hours for a four-year old birthday (and I am *very* close to my siblings). I would go a different weekend and make sure the niece feels celebrated then, too.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't care at all, but some absolutely would care that family missed their precious Larla's birthday party. *clutches pearls*

You know them best, would they be upset?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a courtesy invite. They don't really expect you to go.

+1. 4 hours is too far to drive for a birthday party. Your kids are right. Go a different time when you can actually visit.

[Anonymous]

I don't expect my out of town sibling to attend bday parties. I let him know, but I wouldn't expect him to make a special trip. Same deal for the in-town one.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t even invite you if you were four hours away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a courtesy invite. They don't really expect you to go.

+1. 4 hours is too far to drive for a birthday party. Your kids are right. Go a different time when you can actually visit.

+2

I think it’s great that your teenage kids want to spend time with their preschool cousin. I suspect the cousin will be too excited with the party to pay your kids much attention, anyway. If they’re particularly close, your kids can always call her on the phone and sing Happy Birthday, but anything beyond that will be adding to an already hectic day, and even that’s not necessary.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t care- but only you know your brother & SIL.

[Anonymous]

I think a trip at another time is a fantastic idea. It’s a win all around because as you said, you’ll get better time together and you’re still able to acknowledge the birthday if that’s something that’s important to your brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are older teens. My brother's kids are 3 & 1. My SIL's siblings also all have multiple little kids, baby - age 5, very busy kids a little on the wild side.

It's my niece's 4th birthday and we are invited. Party is a 4 hour drive away.

My kids don't want to go, and I am traveling for work the week prior and it will be harried to get there. It will have to be a quick trip due to work.

If we go, we made the appearance, but mostly will just be me and my kids sitting together & snapping a few pics of my niece (its a disney princess party).

My kids want to go another weekend instead where we can actually just spend time with them and celebrate my niece's birthday then, and stay a few nights.

FWIW my niece won't notice we're not there or question it.

How much does this stuff matter to most people? It never bothered me or my friend group when my kids were little, but idk.

I don't know why you are making something that isn't a problem into one. How nice to be included and invited! Just say you can't come but, would love to celebrate with your niece another weekend. You can either send a present ahead of time or bring one.

I wish I had these problems!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really wouldn't care if you were my sibling. 4-hr drive is excessive for a kid's birthday, family or not.

+1 if you were local it would be different to make a quick appearance.

Agree that spending time together at a later time is more meaningful

Party day will be fun and crazy anyway.