The slow fade
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Anonymous
| Dating someone for the last 3-4 months and everything is just…less. Less time, less communication, less passion, less future planning. We had a very fiery start and he did most of the pursuing but I was also very receptive; we seemed to get along really well as friends so it felt like a good early relationship, until he just pulled back. I’ve brought it up once and got reassurance that everything is perfectly fine, so I thought ok, I’ll just ride out this blip. Except now it’s been a month of this and the trend is definitely there. If I put in more effort, it actually gets worse. I do get occasional enthusiasm here and there but it just feels like the opposite of progression or even maintenance of time and energy invested. If we do make plans etc he never flakes out but there is just no initiative. I’m not really interested in having repeated talks or seeking closure because I think he will just say everything is fine, but at what point do I just firmly conclude this isn’t going anywhere? I guess I’m probably there already but haven’t had this slow fade experience before. Anyone have advice? |
Anonymous
See if you can get this moved to the relationship forum. Pretty sure that's where you meant to post it 
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Anonymous
| I wouldn’t push for a conversation. Match his energy and stop initiating. If communication dies out, so be it. |
Anonymous
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Where do you want this to go?
How soon after him putting his penis inside of you did you start to notice this behavior? |
Anonymous
| Go quiet. Don’t intitiate contact, don’t make plans. If he cares, he will put more effort in. If not, he won’t, and please maintain your dignity and don’t chase him. |
Anonymous
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No, I put my female parts “inside” the male. That is not the only event, however. I have a 95% success rate and results are consistent. Feel free to look up these modern techniques.
OP- move on. |
Anonymous
| I think you can say right now that this isn’t going anywhere. Neither of you are bad people just not right for each other. |
Anonymous
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I’m going through this exact thing right now, happened overnight. It’s exhausting and I’m not playing games, I’m too old. I mentioned it to him once and he said he’d call to discuss, that was a few days ago. Nothing from him, not even a call.
I’m done! If he does call/text that’s what he’ll hear from me. No begging, no pleading, maybe I’ll tell him thank you for the great times but I’m not attaching myself to people who don’t value other people’s time and feelings. |
Anonymous
So you wear a strap-on then? Or you’re into r!m jobs or some shit like that? |
Anonymous
| You can put your female parts wherever, but he's not into you. Move on. How hard is this?? |
Anonymous
WTF does this mean??? |
Anonymous
| OP just move on, it's not happening. |
Anonymous
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Trust your gut. Take the hint. Time for you to slow fade right back. You’re too available. Maybe you were chill and go with the flow initially, then you became needy?
The script writes itself: 1. Analyze every detail 2. Feel something is off with him 3. Create narrative 4. Confront 5. Accept excuses 6. Keep hanging on 7. Need to have the big talk 8. More excuses 9. Guy finally has the ballz to random text or request a meet up to “talk” which he’s been dreading Avoid 1-9 by: 1. Making plans with friends 2. Take a weekend trip 3. Go on a few dates 4. Replacement therapy |
Anonymous
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Shorter PPs: Respond to perceived game-playing by playing games! That’s bound to work!
Remember, OP, there’s a reason posters hang out here, and it’s not because of their wildly successful and happy relationships. Process their advice accordingly. |
Anonymous
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Be honest. Ask for a direct conversation and explain what you want out of the relationship and whether that is something he can provide. Or if he’s ready to move on.
Or just stop communicating. |