How to handle this scenario?

[Anonymous]

When taking out my child and inviting their friends for an outing, I often pay for their food, which I don't mind. There is one child, who always orders 3-4x what everyone else orders - as in the most expensive item on the menu, plus extras, plus desserts, plus sweet drinks. Which honestly, if they ate it all, I wouldn't care, but they never finish everything. Or they say something isn't very good and just end up throwing it out. And then the rest, they want to pack it up to take home with them, but then they don't want to carry it with them, so they ask me to carry it. Let it go or set some boundaries?

[Anonymous]

"Dina, we're only getting burgers, not appetizers or desserts today."

"Dina, that's too much food, nobody's ordering appetizers and we're all just sharing these two sides, each person isn't getting their own."

"No Jayden, you can't get lemonade and Coke and then a shake with dessert. We're not getting dessert today - everyone can just pick one drink."

Set boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Our child has a friend just like this. They even order appetizers for the group. This is a child! We started to set verbal limitations ahead of time, OK, Billy, Bob and Brian, you can pick one entrée and one drink. No dessert today. Or today we will share an appetizer as a family, but no desserts or sweet drinks.

[Anonymous]

Set boundaries. If they are ordering 3-4x what everyone else is ordering, just say something like "how about we get an appetizer to share and everyone picks one entree, and then we'll see if we're still hungry." If he's ordering food and not eating it, it's probably mostly that he has trouble deciding between things. That's not a reason why you should have to buy him several meals.

[Anonymous]

Da fook common sense ain’t so common

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Set boundaries. If they are ordering 3-4x what everyone else is ordering, just say something like "how about we get an appetizer to share and everyone picks one entree, and then we'll see if we're still hungry." If he's ordering food and not eating it, it's probably mostly that he has trouble deciding between things. That's not a reason why you should have to buy him several meals.

I think you may be right. They often don't like the way a certain food is prepared and won't eat it for that reason. So maybe they are covering all the bases by ordering many different things in case they don't like one of the items.

The other thing is that often, they will say that they already ate recently and aren't hungry. But then go on to order more than everyone else.

[Anonymous]

I would just tell what they can order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Set boundaries. If they are ordering 3-4x what everyone else is ordering, just say something like "how about we get an appetizer to share and everyone picks one entree, and then we'll see if we're still hungry." If he's ordering food and not eating it, it's probably mostly that he has trouble deciding between things. That's not a reason why you should have to buy him several meals.

I think you may be right. They often don't like the way a certain food is prepared and won't eat it for that reason. So maybe they are covering all the bases by ordering many different things in case they don't like one of the items.

The other thing is that often, they will say that they already ate recently and aren't hungry. But then go on to order more than everyone else.

Stop him! "You said you weren't hungry - but you're ordering enough food for a family of five. Just pick ONE thing. Okay, that's going to come grilled do you like it that way?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Set boundaries. If they are ordering 3-4x what everyone else is ordering, just say something like "how about we get an appetizer to share and everyone picks one entree, and then we'll see if we're still hungry." If he's ordering food and not eating it, it's probably mostly that he has trouble deciding between things. That's not a reason why you should have to buy him several meals.

I think you may be right. They often don't like the way a certain food is prepared and won't eat it for that reason. So maybe they are covering all the bases by ordering many different things in case they don't like one of the items.

The other thing is that often, they will say that they already ate recently and aren't hungry. But then go on to order more than everyone else.

Stop him! "You said you weren't hungry - but you're ordering enough food for a family of five. Just pick ONE thing. Okay, that's going to come grilled do you like it that way?"

They do seem to have trouble deciding what to order. They take the longest to decide and usually end up holding everyone else up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Set boundaries. If they are ordering 3-4x what everyone else is ordering, just say something like "how about we get an appetizer to share and everyone picks one entree, and then we'll see if we're still hungry." If he's ordering food and not eating it, it's probably mostly that he has trouble deciding between things. That's not a reason why you should have to buy him several meals.

I think you may be right. They often don't like the way a certain food is prepared and won't eat it for that reason. So maybe they are covering all the bases by ordering many different things in case they don't like one of the items.

The other thing is that often, they will say that they already ate recently and aren't hungry. But then go on to order more than everyone else.

Stop him! "You said you weren't hungry - but you're ordering enough food for a family of five. Just pick ONE thing. Okay, that's going to come grilled do you like it that way?"

They do seem to have trouble deciding what to order. They take the longest to decide and usually end up holding everyone else up.

Tell the parent where you're going and ask them to go over the menu ahead of time - "We'll be stopping at Wendy's on the way home and everyone will get just a burger. We'll share fries and I have bottled water"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Set boundaries. If they are ordering 3-4x what everyone else is ordering, just say something like "how about we get an appetizer to share and everyone picks one entree, and then we'll see if we're still hungry." If he's ordering food and not eating it, it's probably mostly that he has trouble deciding between things. That's not a reason why you should have to buy him several meals.

I think you may be right. They often don't like the way a certain food is prepared and won't eat it for that reason. So maybe they are covering all the bases by ordering many different things in case they don't like one of the items.

The other thing is that often, they will say that they already ate recently and aren't hungry. But then go on to order more than everyone else.

Stop him! "You said you weren't hungry - but you're ordering enough food for a family of five. Just pick ONE thing. Okay, that's going to come grilled do you like it that way?"

They do seem to have trouble deciding what to order. They take the longest to decide and usually end up holding everyone else up.

Tell the parent where you're going and ask them to go over the menu ahead of time - "We'll be stopping at Wendy's on the way home and everyone will get just a burger. We'll share fries and I have bottled water"

I actually did do that - and the parent said that they had already eaten. But when the time came....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Set boundaries. If they are ordering 3-4x what everyone else is ordering, just say something like "how about we get an appetizer to share and everyone picks one entree, and then we'll see if we're still hungry." If he's ordering food and not eating it, it's probably mostly that he has trouble deciding between things. That's not a reason why you should have to buy him several meals.

I think you may be right. They often don't like the way a certain food is prepared and won't eat it for that reason. So maybe they are covering all the bases by ordering many different things in case they don't like one of the items.

The other thing is that often, they will say that they already ate recently and aren't hungry. But then go on to order more than everyone else.

Stop him! "You said you weren't hungry - but you're ordering enough food for a family of five. Just pick ONE thing. Okay, that's going to come grilled do you like it that way?"

Please drop the shame. The family of five line is completely unacceptable.

No need to get into anything beyond “Ben, please tell me your order. Actually we are each just getting one entree, so I’d the burger and fries ok? What drink? Wonderful.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Set boundaries. If they are ordering 3-4x what everyone else is ordering, just say something like "how about we get an appetizer to share and everyone picks one entree, and then we'll see if we're still hungry." If he's ordering food and not eating it, it's probably mostly that he has trouble deciding between things. That's not a reason why you should have to buy him several meals.

I think you may be right. They often don't like the way a certain food is prepared and won't eat it for that reason. So maybe they are covering all the bases by ordering many different things in case they don't like one of the items.

The other thing is that often, they will say that they already ate recently and aren't hungry. But then go on to order more than everyone else.

Stop him! "You said you weren't hungry - but you're ordering enough food for a family of five. Just pick ONE thing. Okay, that's going to come grilled do you like it that way?"

Please drop the shame. The family of five line is completely unacceptable.

No need to get into anything beyond “Ben, please tell me your order. Actually we are each just getting one entree, so I’d the burger and fries ok? What drink? Wonderful.”

Whatever - you handle it your way and I'll handle it mine. To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't invite a kid like that anywhere that food is involved after they pulled that crap once.

[Anonymous]

Agree. Do not shame the kid. Communicate acceptable choices.

Ben, would you like the chick fil a sandwich or the chicken tenders as your entree?

OR

Ben, I’m ordering everyone chicken tenders and waffle fries. Please let me know if you have any food allergies I should know about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Set boundaries. If they are ordering 3-4x what everyone else is ordering, just say something like "how about we get an appetizer to share and everyone picks one entree, and then we'll see if we're still hungry." If he's ordering food and not eating it, it's probably mostly that he has trouble deciding between things. That's not a reason why you should have to buy him several meals.

I think you may be right. They often don't like the way a certain food is prepared and won't eat it for that reason. So maybe they are covering all the bases by ordering many different things in case they don't like one of the items.

The other thing is that often, they will say that they already ate recently and aren't hungry. But then go on to order more than everyone else.

Stop him! "You said you weren't hungry - but you're ordering enough food for a family of five. Just pick ONE thing. Okay, that's going to come grilled do you like it that way?"

Please drop the shame. The family of five line is completely unacceptable.

No need to get into anything beyond “Ben, please tell me your order. Actually we are each just getting one entree, so I’d the burger and fries ok? What drink? Wonderful.”

Whatever - you handle it your way and I'll handle it mine. To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't invite a kid like that anywhere that food is involved after they pulled that crap once.

DP, but I wouldn’t want my child to be around your shame and toxicity. It’s not misbehavior to be accustomed to ordering a certain way. There are cultural components, budget components and different appetites. Not everyone feeds kids like middle aged dieting women.