Non-social teens

[Anonymous]

I have two teens who aren’t very social. My older (16) is a quiet and introverted kid who has some social anxiety, much like myself. She rarely sees friends outside of school and does not really text with them either. Her favorite pastime is playing games on her phone but she doesn’t do that too much since she’s so busy with school work these days.
My younger one (14) does text with a few friends and occasionally gets together with one friend outside of school but mostly prefers being home and watching TV, which we try to limit.
I know what it’s like to not be very social and a homebody but when I was a teen I still loved seeing friends (didn’t have school friends but kids outside of school) as much as possible. My kids not so much, and I’m wondering if we should force socializing a bit more. I don’t want them to feel like we think something is wrong with them so we haven’t pushed it but I think they’ve both gotten used to just being home and hanging out with each other (they do get along great). I worry about college and beyond when they haven’t had much exposure to peers during their teen years.

[Anonymous]

Aw that’s so sad. Can’t they join anything?? Church group? Scouts? Volunteer organization? That seems terribly lonely. It’s no way to live. Humans are meant to connect.

[Anonymous]

My two nieces never seemed to have friends they had activities and a lot of family events but no outside friends. When they got to senior year they blossomed into beautiful girls. The younger one has a boyfriend and the older one in college find a group of friends and boys.

As long as they aren’t depressed about it and have some outside interests I wouldn’t worry.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think this group was hit particularly hard by Covid because they missed the years of figuring out social stuff in MS. I feel like this age group is developmentally about two years behind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think this group was hit particularly hard by Covid because they missed the years of figuring out social stuff in MS. I feel like this age group is developmentally about two years behind.

This generation is affected; no - afflicted with social anxiety and fear, thanks to a toxic mix of phones, social media, and remote ordering.

It is common for teens to fear interacting with strangers to such a degree they will only order food online, pay online, then grab it off a “to go” shelf, then eat in their car.

All this, simply to avoid speaking face to face with an actual person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think this group was hit particularly hard by Covid because they missed the years of figuring out social stuff in MS. I feel like this age group is developmentally about two years behind.

This generation is affected; no - afflicted with social anxiety and fear, thanks to a toxic mix of phones, social media, and remote ordering.

It is common for teens to fear interacting with strangers to such a degree they will only order food online, pay online, then grab it off a “to go” shelf, then eat in their car.

All this, simply to avoid speaking face to face with an actual person.

This doesn’t sound like what OP described at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think this group was hit particularly hard by Covid because they missed the years of figuring out social stuff in MS. I feel like this age group is developmentally about two years behind.

This generation is affected; no - afflicted with social anxiety and fear, thanks to a toxic mix of phones, social media, and remote ordering.

It is common for teens to fear interacting with strangers to such a degree they will only order food online, pay online, then grab it off a “to go” shelf, then eat in their car.

All this, simply to avoid speaking face to face with an actual person.

You sound really old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My two nieces never seemed to have friends they had activities and a lot of family events but no outside friends. When they got to senior year they blossomed into beautiful girls. The younger one has a boyfriend and the older one in college find a group of friends and boys.

As long as they aren’t depressed about it and have some outside interests I wouldn’t worry.

This is OP - it’s so nice to read this, thank you! Yes they seem perfectly content the way things are. Which is why we haven’t really pushed it.

[Anonymous]

Do they want more social interaction? Just by virtue of going to school all day they are with others 6+ hours a day and that might be enough. Or they might be lonely and need help coming up with activities that get them out of the house more. Only they know the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My two nieces never seemed to have friends they had activities and a lot of family events but no outside friends. When they got to senior year they blossomed into beautiful girls. The younger one has a boyfriend and the older one in college find a group of friends and boys.

As long as they aren’t depressed about it and have some outside interests I wouldn’t worry.

This is OP - it’s so nice to read this, thank you! Yes they seem perfectly content the way things are. Which is why we haven’t really pushed it.

Well I think people get used to be alone, and they may mask their feelings. Teens are really good at pretending. Of course you can’t push them into anything, they’re too old for it at this point. Maybe the older one can work a part-time job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think this group was hit particularly hard by Covid because they missed the years of figuring out social stuff in MS. I feel like this age group is developmentally about two years behind.

This generation is affected; no - afflicted with social anxiety and fear, thanks to a toxic mix of phones, social media, and remote ordering.

It is common for teens to fear interacting with strangers to such a degree they will only order food online, pay online, then grab it off a “to go” shelf, then eat in their car.

All this, simply to avoid speaking face to face with an actual person.

I am 47 and I have no interest interacting with customer service of any kind if I can avoid it. I don’t know what is so horrible about it. I am sure they would order face to Face if that was the only alternative to starving

[Anonymous]

My teen is younger (13) but doesn’t really hang out with anyone outside school or activities. He seems to have a full social life on discord where the fans of a particular video game congregate and share relevant art (he likes to draw and writes fan fiction). So it may well be that they do socialize, we just don’t know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My two nieces never seemed to have friends they had activities and a lot of family events but no outside friends. When they got to senior year they blossomed into beautiful girls. The younger one has a boyfriend and the older one in college find a group of friends and boys.

As long as they aren’t depressed about it and have some outside interests I wouldn’t worry.

This is OP - it’s so nice to read this, thank you! Yes they seem perfectly content the way things are. Which is why we haven’t really pushed it.

Well I think people get used to be alone, and they may mask their feelings. Teens are really good at pretending. Of course you can’t push them into anything, they’re too old for it at this point. Maybe the older one can work a part-time job?

Yes she has a part time job this summer. I’m hoping that gets her a bit out of her shell and it would be even greater if she makes some friends!
-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think this group was hit particularly hard by Covid because they missed the years of figuring out social stuff in MS. I feel like this age group is developmentally about two years behind.

This generation is affected; no - afflicted with social anxiety and fear, thanks to a toxic mix of phones, social media, and remote ordering.

It is common for teens to fear interacting with strangers to such a degree they will only order food online, pay online, then grab it off a “to go” shelf, then eat in their car.

All this, simply to avoid speaking face to face with an actual person.

Isn’t that how most people under the age of 70 order their take-out in 2023?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think this group was hit particularly hard by Covid because they missed the years of figuring out social stuff in MS. I feel like this age group is developmentally about two years behind.

This generation is affected; no - afflicted with social anxiety and fear, thanks to a toxic mix of phones, social media, and remote ordering.

It is common for teens to fear interacting with strangers to such a degree they will only order food online, pay online, then grab it off a “to go” shelf, then eat in their car.

All this, simply to avoid speaking face to face with an actual person.

Isn’t that how most people under the age of 70 order their take-out in 2023?

Yes. I order all take out online and pick it up. I’m not afraid. It’s convenient. It’s the same reason I refill prescriptions online and have them mailed for free instead of going to the pharmacy.

One of my teens prefers to be home. He talks a lot to people through gaming online but doesn’t have a desire to get together in person. It’s fairly normal. He’s also looking for a job so it’s not that he refuses to interact with anyone. I wouldn’t worry about what you describe, OP.