What are the options that DH and I should consider for after we die?

[Anonymous]

I am finally writing this seeing the other thread where the poster’s relative is about to pass away and they are having to research options on behalf of the relative’s spouse.

DH and I know what the other wants but never put anything in writing or really thought through what to do with the bodies after death.

We both want to donate any organs we can and want to donate body if any medical facilities take them. If body can’t be given away, we want the cheapest, most environmentally friendly option and something that doesn’t become a burden on the rest of the family.

How can we educate ourselves?

[Anonymous]

Start by looking into your state, and/or local research university options.

If you google Maryland body donation for instance you'll find lots of info.

Worth knowing is that a body can be rejected, so you still need a backup plan. (Both my parents made all the arrangements to donate their bodies, but by the time they died they were too beaten up and the donation was declined.)

[Anonymous]

Assuming your body isn't donated you should make an appointment with your local funeral home. Go in and make all your choices - probably cremation if you're looking for cheapest. They will document it all and keep it on file. Then your family will know exactly what you wanted.

[Anonymous]

No one is going to want your organs. They want the organs of crash victims in the prime of health.

[Anonymous]

Make sure your driver’s licenses both indicate that you’re in favor of organ donation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is going to want your organs. They want the organs of crash victims in the prime of health.

I mean, not to be dark or anything, but for all we know, that will be OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is going to want your organs. They want the organs of crash victims in the prime of health.

Agreed. When I asked about organ donation for my early 70’s parent who we were taking off life support after a hypoxic brain injury from cardiac arrest, the doctors said she wasn’t “brain dead enough” to donate. I bet if it had been someone 20 years younger, they wouldn’t have blown it off like that.

[Anonymous]

Cremation and sprinkle the ashes somewhere. That's what we did for my brother, who died in his 30s. That's what I want as well.

[Anonymous]

Ideally, I would want a Zoroastrian funeral. I want vultures to eat my dead body. Mot environment friendly and you are still useful after death.

[Anonymous]

Well, there's this one neighborhood. It's generally considered highly desirable... but he neighbors can be a tad judgey and the HOA is overly militant.

The alternative is in the deep, deep south. The heat is oppressive but you can't beat the company. All the more interesting people live there.

[Anonymous]

Look into green burial options -- green cemeteries near you. Cremation is better than embalming/traditional casket burial in a cement vault, but it's very fossil fuel-intensive.

https://www.orderofthegooddeath.com/

[Anonymous]

You seem to be hing up on organ donations, but there are soooo many other aspects that should take priority b/c it can be complicated and messy if not dealt with now.

Is your will or trust in order - power of attorney, prorating inheritance throughout the years to your kids DNR,.

How about pre-purchasing your cemetery plot? Headstone, font, saying, burial service details, coffin, the in-lay for the coffin, digging for the burial is super expensive. Take care of it NOW (it's not going to get any cheaper) and all that stuff takes thought and decisions which, believe me, a widow really doesn't want to deal with (can barely process anything let alone funeral details) in those days of mourning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

How about pre-purchasing your cemetery plot? Headstone, font, saying, burial service details, coffin, the in-lay for the coffin, digging for the burial is super expensive. Take care of it NOW (it's not going to get any cheaper) and all that stuff takes thought and decisions which, believe me, a widow really doesn't want to deal with (can barely process anything let alone funeral details) in those days of mourning.

Doing the decision-making up front is great, pre-purchasing a cemetery plot is great, but a lot of the rest of this is very un-green, and green is what OP is looking for. I'd look here for green cemeteries near you and then look into pre-purchasing, or at least making your wishes on both sides known and in writing, so a surviving spouse knows exactly what the plan is:

https://www.greenburialcouncil.org/cemeteries.html

https://greenburialmaryland.org/resources/

[Anonymous]

You could consider human composting if allowed in your state or under consideration.

[Anonymous]

You need to fill out special paperwork ahead of time to donate your body “to science.” Copies should be given to your family, your funeral home of choice, and also to the receiving institution.

At the time of death, the receiving institution may decline the use of your body due to them having already too many in use/storage, or due to your body being over a specified weight (150 pounds was the limit for the local university lab where I used to work). Or because your body had a disease process that would prevent the receiving institution from using it for scientific purposes. Look into these exclusions ahead of time.

You can sign up with the DMV for organ and tissue donation. By signing up for this, this is your consent. Organs and tissue are evaluated and considered on a case by case basis at time of death. There are age maximums.

You can prepay for your funeral costs in todays dollars at many funeral homes. If you die in an area that is away from this prepaid funeral home, they will coordinate arrangements and payments between the two homes. They are used to this.