Is it normal to have no idea about family money?

[Anonymous]

I’m 25 and I never talk about money with my parents, they live very modest lives and I have no idea what their net worth is, but growing up I knew for a fact my mom came from a wealthy family (both her parents are dead now). I don’t know how much but I think it was in the 10’s of millions in the 80’s. Someone in my family mentioned a generation skipping trust but I only heard that once and never was mentioned again. I feel awkward asking them and don’t want to come across as entitled but am naturally curious, was the money lost, or is it sitting somewhere? I’m making good money for my age and already own a home with no help from family so it’s not that concerning but just very curious. My parents have never had issues with paying bills but they live very modestly living in a tiny condo and don’t seem to spend much. I had 40k in student loans when graduating college as well (paid off on my own). Part of me thinks the money was lost due to mismanagement.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like the movie Glass Castle

[Anonymous]

Did you see your FAFSA from college? It would list your parents’ assets. CSS profile too

[Anonymous]

How do you think your parents would react if you broached the topic with them?

What you wrote reminds me of my family growing up.

[Anonymous]

Just assume and plan as if the money doesn’t exist. Maybe check with your parents about their plans for end of life medical care/do they have enough for that? If you get it, it will be a nice consolation when your parents pass; if not, you’ll be prepared to support yourself and your family on your own savings.

[Anonymous]

We were raised thinking there was no money in the family. Just found out there is a huge family trust that was never disclosed.

[Anonymous]

You are 25 yo fully grown adult. Live your life and learn to MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 25 and I never talk about money with my parents, they live very modest lives and I have no idea what their net worth is, but growing up I knew for a fact my mom came from a wealthy family (both her parents are dead now). I don’t know how much but I think it was in the 10’s of millions in the 80’s. Someone in my family mentioned a generation skipping trust but I only heard that once and never was mentioned again. I feel awkward asking them and don’t want to come across as entitled but am naturally curious, was the money lost, or is it sitting somewhere? I’m making good money for my age and already own a home with no help from family so it’s not that concerning but just very curious. My parents have never had issues with paying bills but they live very modestly living in a tiny condo and don’t seem to spend much. I had 40k in student loans when graduating college as well (paid off on my own). Part of me thinks the money was lost due to mismanagement.

This sounds made up. Depending on how many tens of millions in the 80's, that could well be $1 billion+ today if just invested the S&P. Unlikely that your parents are billionaires and live in a tiny condo and not even a modest SFH. On the other hand, people who live modestly are unlikely to waste or mismanage a huge inheritance. The tens of millions in the 80s was likely a fantasy - your parents probably have a couple million today and are saving it for retirement and end-of-life care.

[Anonymous]

It could be gone, or it could be that they are modest people, or maybe the trust limits their current income. Some people don’t like thinking about death and estate issues, much less discussing it with your kids. Perhaps you could raise it with them in the context of being concerned about their long term financial well being?

Our kids know that we have some money, but no real idea how much. If everything goes according to plan, it will be a substantial amount, but anything could happen and we don’t want them to plan their lives around it. We do help them out now from time to time (college funds for the grandchildren, etc) but we’re happy that they all have built their own careers and lives and don’t feel that we necessarily owe it to them to leave them huge sums.

[Anonymous]

OP, the more interest you show, the worse it looks for you. Get stable and build your own wealth, then any inheritance will be gravy and you won't ever have to worry about people pulling your strings with the promise of money.

I know of a family that made and blew millions of income in the 80s. High risk business decisions that paid off until they didn’t. The kids have a tough relationship with money and stability.

If they are secretly wealthy, be glad your parents are frugal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 25 and I never talk about money with my parents, they live very modest lives and I have no idea what their net worth is, but growing up I knew for a fact my mom came from a wealthy family (both her parents are dead now). I don’t know how much but I think it was in the 10’s of millions in the 80’s. Someone in my family mentioned a generation skipping trust but I only heard that once and never was mentioned again. I feel awkward asking them and don’t want to come across as entitled but am naturally curious, was the money lost, or is it sitting somewhere? I’m making good money for my age and already own a home with no help from family so it’s not that concerning but just very curious. My parents have never had issues with paying bills but they live very modestly living in a tiny condo and don’t seem to spend much. I had 40k in student loans when graduating college as well (paid off on my own). Part of me thinks the money was lost due to mismanagement.

This sounds made up. Depending on how many tens of millions in the 80's, that could well be $1 billion+ today if just invested the S&P. Unlikely that your parents are billionaires and live in a tiny condo and not even a modest SFH. On the other hand, people who live modestly are unlikely to waste or mismanage a huge inheritance. The tens of millions in the 80s was likely a fantasy - your parents probably have a couple million today and are saving it for retirement and end-of-life care.

I’m not sure about this, it’s possible that the rumors are correct, but I do have experience in my own family with the rumor mill inflating the true value of family assets. What seemed “rich” back then wasn’t all that much by today’s standards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 25 and I never talk about money with my parents, they live very modest lives and I have no idea what their net worth is, but growing up I knew for a fact my mom came from a wealthy family (both her parents are dead now). I don’t know how much but I think it was in the 10’s of millions in the 80’s. Someone in my family mentioned a generation skipping trust but I only heard that once and never was mentioned again. I feel awkward asking them and don’t want to come across as entitled but am naturally curious, was the money lost, or is it sitting somewhere? I’m making good money for my age and already own a home with no help from family so it’s not that concerning but just very curious. My parents have never had issues with paying bills but they live very modestly living in a tiny condo and don’t seem to spend much. I had 40k in student loans when graduating college as well (paid off on my own). Part of me thinks the money was lost due to mismanagement.

This sounds made up. Depending on how many tens of millions in the 80's, that could well be $1 billion+ today if just invested the S&P. Unlikely that your parents are billionaires and live in a tiny condo and not even a modest SFH. On the other hand, people who live modestly are unlikely to waste or mismanage a huge inheritance. The tens of millions in the 80s was likely a fantasy - your parents probably have a couple million today and are saving it for retirement and end-of-life care.

I don’t think it sounds made up. My dad once mentioned that my grandfather put some money away in a trust for us grandkids because he thought my dad wouldn’t invest it sensibly. It’s never come up again and nothing my dad said made me think this is an amount of money that would change our lives in the slightest, a drop in the 529 bucket at best, but I absolutely believe OP’s memory of it coming up once and never again and kind of wondering if it’s real or not.

[Anonymous]

How did you know for a fact that your mom came from a family worth millions? Was it a family business?

[Anonymous]

Troll

[Anonymous]

My parents lived a very modest lifestyle and we were always told that there was no family money. It turns out, there was no family money.