If you are 35 and married, is it depressing?

[Anonymous]

Be truthful please, to yourself and to the thread.

[Anonymous]

Nope, love my life and wouldn’t trade it for living alone. My QoL increased enormously after finding my person and starting a life together!

[Anonymous]

My marriage is extremely depressing right now. Due to family commitments I won’t have enough time to finish the new Zelda game before Diablo 4 comes out and I don’t know what to do.

[Anonymous]

Why would it be depressing? Sounds like you aren’t ready to be married.

[Anonymous]

I think I was depressed at age 35. If I recall correctly that was a rough patch in our marriage. And in retrospect I was depressed because of the marriage because DH was highly critical for an extended period of time and didn’t seem to really like me. But now at 39 I’m really happy in the marriage.

[Anonymous]

Do you mean, since we married older and have had lost 5 babies and going through a grueling IVF regimen? Yeah it suck balls. I love my husband and hate the 2 year infertility journey we've been on.

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course it was. We begin to become aware that we are growing old. We understand that our commitment has closed, is closing, and will close other doors to adventure. We stop pretending that we can have everything everywhere all at once. We are still completely in thrall to Our Expectations regarding our lived professional, social, and economic reality. I believe that 35 is a miserable age for many people, regardless of marital status.

[Anonymous]

Goodness no. I am so happy to be married and settled with kids. Kids are tiring but life feels full in a good way. For me it has brought more community which I enjoy. My marriage isn’t perfect but it is good, and mostly kind. And we are partners completely committed to each other, a stability I really appreciate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you mean, since we married older and have had lost 5 babies and going through a grueling IVF regimen? Yeah it suck balls. I love my husband and hate the 2 year infertility journey we've been on.

I am incredibly sorry pp. I hope the tides turn soon.

[Anonymous]

Thinking back to when I was 35...the most difficult part of my marriage was having two toddlers. We didn't have a whole lot of time for each other.

[Anonymous]

My daughter was dealing with a rare disease when I was 35, we were on the tail end of the worst period of my life. We are in a rough patch now but DH was a source of stability at that time. Marriages go through so many permutations, it’s interesting.

[Anonymous]

35 was not depressing.

But we have not had any insurmountable challenges. We have healthy children ( other than severe food allergies which we can mostly control by avoiding certain foods), income stability, no addictions, no infidelities etc.

We have been very lucky. I can see how an area of disaster can turn things around.

[Anonymous]

Worse than being not 35, better than being not married.

[Anonymous]

Just turned 36. Married with a two year old. I’m happy

[Anonymous]

I'm not quite 35 yet but my DH is past that age and it's never been depressing or even close, even through genuine hardship. I think it all depends on how you approach things. And frankly, how stable you are financially; money is a huge stressor in relationships.

One common theme I see among married friends and family members in their 30s and 40s is 1) making your entire life about the kids, and 2) letting intimacy suffer. Not just physical intimacy but any sense of connection and specialness in the relationship. If you put your marriage first, even above the kids, you can weather any storm.