Boarding for 10th grade?

[Anonymous]

DH and DD decided to apply for boarding school. I was very much against it, DH said she won’t go anyway. Well, she got into a top school. DD is having second thoughts, not sure she wants to leave home/her school. But, objectively, the boarding school is much much better.And she also thinks it would be fun. She has vacillates a bit. I came around to the idea, I think it’s a great opportunity. But I will miss her so much. Crying as I type this. Do I need to get over myself and not stand in her way?

[Anonymous]

If she wants to go and it is a great academic opportunity, much above what she currently has access to, then yes let her go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she wants to go and it is a great academic opportunity, much above what she currently has access to, then yes let her go.

Makes sense. She’s in private, but their exmissions aren’t great. The class that’s just about to graduate has only 3 Ivy admits, from 250 kids. It’s a great school, but not in the same league at all, I would say maybe ranked around 200 or 250 nationally among privates, the BS is top. As I said, sometimes she says she wants to go, sometimes she says she doesn’t. So I don’t know for sure.

[Anonymous]

Congratulations to your DD!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she wants to go and it is a great academic opportunity, much above what she currently has access to, then yes let her go.

Makes sense. She’s in private, but their exmissions aren’t great. The class that’s just about to graduate has only 3 Ivy admits, from 250 kids. It’s a great school, but not in the same league at all, I would say maybe ranked around 200 or 250 nationally among privates, the BS is top. As I said, sometimes she says she wants to go, sometimes she says she doesn’t. So I don’t know for sure.

If you let her go, she likely still isn’t getting into an Ivy. I hope that isn’t your main reason for sending her or you will be very disappointed

[Anonymous]

I went to a boarding school in 10th and loved it. I really liked the greater challenges and opportunities available to me that my public didn’t offer and I aired being independent. But I’d also been telling my parents I wanted to go to boarding school since like 7th grade so a little different than your DD. That being said, I wouldn’t send my kids to board unless they were super excited about it and I would never expect it to drastically improve their college admissions.

[Anonymous]

Have you gone for a visit? She should really want to go, if there is uncertainty you will have an emotional mess on your hands similar to a homesick freshmen at college, but with less maturity and resilience. Girls that were there from freshmen year will pair up to dorm with their friends. Your daughter might end up with an international student or someone that doesn’t have a roommate due to difficulty making friends. Also, there are drugs, alcohol and sex in boarding schools just like any other high school. I am not trying to dissuade you, but she should really want to attend and Dad shouldn’t romanticize the prestige of the school and pressure her. Boarding schools, even prestigious ones, are no longer Ivy feeders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she wants to go and it is a great academic opportunity, much above what she currently has access to, then yes let her go.

Makes sense. She’s in private, but their exmissions aren’t great. The class that’s just about to graduate has only 3 Ivy admits, from 250 kids. It’s a great school, but not in the same league at all, I would say maybe ranked around 200 or 250 nationally among privates, the BS is top. As I said, sometimes she says she wants to go, sometimes she says she doesn’t. So I don’t know for sure.

I'm starting to see why DD wants to go and DH supports it.

[Anonymous]

Given your reasons- I don’t think I would. Your DD already goes to a great private school. I don’t think the “top” boarding school is going to somehow get her in an Ivy.

If your DD only had access to a basic public school or mediocre catholic private school, then yes I would send her.

[Anonymous]

Send her for the experience, not for Ivy access. Then you all feel like it was a failure if she gets into anything with less name brand. Because the time of “feeder” schools to Harvard is over. The most prestigious boarding schools have a ton of kids with elite school hooks and those will be the pool she’s competing against for Harvard. Her admissions chances probably aren’t much different. But if she loves it and gets a great education and you can swing it then it’s a win all around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Send her for the experience, not for Ivy access. Then you all feel like it was a failure if she gets into anything with less name brand. Because the time of “feeder” schools to Harvard is over. The most prestigious boarding schools have a ton of kids with elite school hooks and those will be the pool she’s competing against for Harvard. Her admissions chances probably aren’t much different. But if she loves it and gets a great education and you can swing it then it’s a win all around.

I only mentioned the Ivy acceptances as some sort of measure of rigor or quality. Not sure how else to explain - I don’t know the average SAT score, or AP rate. Anyway, it’s a good school but the BS is much better. Who knows where kids will go to college, that’s not the end all be all, HS is equally important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Send her for the experience, not for Ivy access. Then you all feel like it was a failure if she gets into anything with less name brand. Because the time of “feeder” schools to Harvard is over. The most prestigious boarding schools have a ton of kids with elite school hooks and those will be the pool she’s competing against for Harvard. Her admissions chances probably aren’t much different. But if she loves it and gets a great education and you can swing it then it’s a win all around.

I am not overly concerned with Ivy. I am focused on the HS experience.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry that this post somehow turned into insults and the age old discussion about Ivy acceptances. I have zero interest in rehashing those. If someone has constructive advice, fine. But college admissions aren’t what I am interested in at this point. I’ve spent enough time on mommy boards to never ever want to have a rehash of the SAHM-WOHM debate or Ivy admissions.

[Anonymous]

It’s not the same, but I currently have a 9th grader in private. He can’t decide if he wants to continue or go back to public next year. He changes his mind by the day. DH firmly wants him to stay in private because he hated the public school when he was there a couple of years ago and doesn’t want to go through pulling him again. I’m on the fence and want to support my kid.

As a parent, look at the best option for your kid and your family. Don’t worry about the long future but more of the immediate future. This age is rough and a roller coaster of emotions. I’m trying to step back and see what gives us the most options and balancing that with what makes the most sense financially. I can see too much discussion about this is causing anxiety for my son. You don’t want that for your daughter.

Personally, I would not agree to boarding school at this age unless she really was driven to go. We looked at a few but it was a mild interest for our son so we quickly dropped it. The opportunities didn’t matter if it wasn’t something he really wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send her for the experience, not for Ivy access. Then you all feel like it was a failure if she gets into anything with less name brand. Because the time of “feeder” schools to Harvard is over. The most prestigious boarding schools have a ton of kids with elite school hooks and those will be the pool she’s competing against for Harvard. Her admissions chances probably aren’t much different. But if she loves it and gets a great education and you can swing it then it’s a win all around.

I only mentioned the Ivy acceptances as some sort of measure of rigor or quality. Not sure how else to explain - I don’t know the average SAT score, or AP rate. Anyway, it’s a good school but the BS is much better. Who knows where kids will go to college, that’s not the end all be all, HS is equally important.

3 kids out of class if 250 sounds very good though- better than most private schools. What makes your think her education at the boarding school will be so much better than it is worth sending her away for 3 years