The insane cost of elder care

[Anonymous]

I know I shouldn’t be shocked but the cost of care for the elderly is insane. I’m researching assisted living places. In addition to the rent, which is significant, there are extra costs for medication administration and “level 1-4 care” which is from $400-$2500 extra per month on top of rent. There are special programs for people who suffer from memory issues (not a memory care facility but a group), and other types of extra group programs. These range from $1000-$1500 more a month.

Seriously looking at $9k-$11k per month. How do people afford that??

[Anonymous]

Lifelong planning and savings. Also LTC insurance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I shouldn’t be shocked but the cost of care for the elderly is insane. I’m researching assisted living places. In addition to the rent, which is significant, there are extra costs for medication administration and “level 1-4 care” which is from $400-$2500 extra per month on top of rent. There are special programs for people who suffer from memory issues (not a memory care facility but a group), and other types of extra group programs. These range from $1000-$1500 more a month.

Seriously looking at $9k-$11k per month. How do people afford that??

Yep, this is why people have to set aside a large amount in retirement. Long-term care insurance isn't a great alternative either. We just mentally put 500k aside as needed for support for elder care for both spouses. Also, people here bemoan annuities, but the reality is that your spouse's elder care can really decimate your finances, since they have to whittle it down to nothing to be able to be eligible for Medicaid. This is a key reason why there are so many poor older women--they exhausted their finances caring for a spouse who needed care and died before them. A deferred annuity can at least guarantee some basics if one spouse finds themselves in this situation since annuities don't figure into the asset calculation.

[Anonymous]

Unless you're wealthy, it's LTC insurance or Medicaid. Get your assets out of your name 5 years before you need Medicaid LTC or the state will take it all!

[Anonymous]

There are numerous group homes around the DMV where care is $50-75k per year.

Most people cannot afford the amounts you’re quoting. The places you are looking at are corporations paying staff low wages. The building may be pretty but the care isn’t necessarily any better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you're wealthy, it's LTC insurance or Medicaid. Get your assets out of your name 5 years before you need Medicaid LTC or the state will take it all!

What if your assets are already in a trust

[Anonymous]

It’s awful. We went through this with my mother who had dementia, and it was about $7000 per month in their low cost of living state (my dad’s pension would have disqualified them from Medicaid even if we had spent down their remaining assets early enough). I contributed about $1500 and my dad floated the rest. Not sure what we would have done if we’d needed more than 2 years’ care but she passed away before my dad depleted their retirement savings.

LTC insurance doesn’t really cover this level of expense, if my inlaws’ policies are representative, but would help partially offset the cost.

[Anonymous]

My husband and his brothers pay for non-licensed aides to take care of their mother round the clock in her own apartment. She has always said she did not wish to go to a nursing home. They looked for aides from her own community, speaking her own language and cooking her cuisine. They are cheaper than
"official" senior aides because they have practically no education (not sure they even graduated high school), but after a decade of shopping for my MIL, cooking, cleaning, giving massages, and helping with very complex medication needs and increasing toileting needs, they have proved themselves very caring and trustworthy people. They are supervised, of course, by the son who lives nearby.

So in the end it comes to less than 5K a month, for an advanced Parkinson's patient owning her own apartment and with one child able to physically visit once every two days.

On my side of the family, I have a relative who paid for her in-laws with dementia to stay in their own home with round the clock aides, and she mentioned that it cost less than a nursing home. It also made them happier.

[Anonymous]

This is why after age 65, I will not seek any life saving medical care.
I don't want to pay, nor have my relatives pay, tens of thousands of dollars for me to merely exist in a LTC facility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why after age 65, I will not seek any life saving medical care.
I don't want to pay, nor have my relatives pay, tens of thousands of dollars for me to merely exist in a LTC facility.

My dad always said that too, now at 80 he doesn't anymore.

[Anonymous]

It’s insane. My parent’s place charges $12,500/month and most of it is paid by Medicaid.

[Anonymous]

My parents thought they had planned carefully but had no comprehension of elder care costs in the 21st century (neither did us kids). They were an accountant and administrative assistant with modest pensions and <$1 million in other savings. It's all gone after years of those $10k/month bills. My Dad passed at 86 and my 88-year old Mom is moving to a Medicaid facility this summer.

Sometimes that's how it goes when you get old. I have no better suggestion other than to not be sick for very long at the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents thought they had planned carefully but had no comprehension of elder care costs in the 21st century (neither did us kids). They were an accountant and administrative assistant with modest pensions and <$1 million in other savings. It's all gone after years of those $10k/month bills. My Dad passed at 86 and my 88-year old Mom is moving to a Medicaid facility this summer.

Sometimes that's how it goes when you get old. I have no better suggestion other than to not be sick for very long at the end.

I’m so sorry to hear this OP.

It’s just so sad to think their frugal lifetime of saving will all be wiped out in a few years of needing extra help with the day to day of living. Thankfully my mom has enough to get her to the end, although there literally may be nothing left. That’s what it’s there for I guess but it just seems so ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and his brothers pay for non-licensed aides to take care of their mother round the clock in her own apartment. She has always said she did not wish to go to a nursing home. They looked for aides from her own community, speaking her own language and cooking her cuisine. They are cheaper than
"official" senior aides because they have practically no education (not sure they even graduated high school), but after a decade of shopping for my MIL, cooking, cleaning, giving massages, and helping with very complex medication needs and increasing toileting needs, they have proved themselves very caring and trustworthy people. They are supervised, of course, by the son who lives nearby.

So in the end it comes to less than 5K a month, for an advanced Parkinson's patient owning her own apartment and with one child able to physically visit once every two days.

On my side of the family, I have a relative who paid for her in-laws with dementia to stay in their own home with round the clock aides, and she mentioned that it cost less than a nursing home. It also made them happier.

+1 similar route in my family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents thought they had planned carefully but had no comprehension of elder care costs in the 21st century (neither did us kids). They were an accountant and administrative assistant with modest pensions and <$1 million in other savings. It's all gone after years of those $10k/month bills. My Dad passed at 86 and my 88-year old Mom is moving to a Medicaid facility this summer.

Sometimes that's how it goes when you get old. I have no better suggestion other than to not be sick for very long at the end.

Precisely what happened to us. My dad went to level 4 LTC at Hebrew Home in Rockville at 15K/month. Previously he'd had 24-hour private nurses at his home at ca. 30k/month. We burned through his savings, and his house sale proceeds, like a match through dry grass.

Now that he has passed, I'm wondering what to do in my own old age. "Not being sick for very long at the end" is the only solution in the US, unless you are very wealthy indeed.