10 yo asking for makeup

[Anonymous]

My 10 yo talked about how girls were sharing makeup at sleepaway camp last summer (sounded like eyeliner). She didn’t borrow the makeup, but now she is interested in having some of her own… especially because I told her sharing makeup is not a great idea. Of course, wearing makeup as a 10 yo is probably not a great idea either. I had no interest in makeup at her age. I’m struggling a bit with how she seems to lean towards making herself look older. I just want to help her to feel positive about her body and her face as they are now. Any been there, did this advice? She is a quiet kid, but with high intensity, high achieving aspect to her personality.

[Anonymous]

I would tell her no. Playing with makeup at sleepaway camp is like playing dress up; not the same thing as her wearing makeup to school or wherever around town.

[Anonymous]

This seems like a great opportunity for a lot of things, including showing her you'll help with "girl stuff" before it gets more serious. And for talking about the different ways and times makeup is used (day vs night styles, cultural trends and eras, etc) and what makeup people on TV are wearing to look the way they do.

I'd get her some, show her how to use it, show her how to remove it to have clean skin, and have rules for what is ok at school vs home vs other occasions.

[Anonymous]

You could start with something like allowing tinted lip balm and light blush or something like that. You don’t have to go from none to a full face.

[Anonymous]

First figure out what you are okay with, PPs have given good examples. 6th grade seemed to be the age when we started to see girls beginning to wear some level of makeup to school. For many it was tinted lip balm. Others already had the go-ahead for a full face of makeup, which was not okay with us. No judgement on those families who felt differently, this was our perspective for our middle schooler.

6th grade we allowed a lightly tinted lip gloss and taught DD how to use concealer since that's also when breakouts started to occur. 7th grade we've allowed her to add in a touch of neutral eyeshadow and mascara. All of this with a focus on both looking natural and understanding that makeup is a fun way to add what I have been trying to call polish or pop. Not sure those are good words but I'm trying to emphasize that she is beautiful and makeup isn't necessary but can be fun. Our DD as a result seems to use concealer any time she has a zit, but for now seems to only wear makeup maybe once per week. We have also insisted that she only wear cleaner brands of makeup, which makes it more expensive.

All of this to say, what you allow is a personal choice. Having fun experimenting at camp or home is different from making it a daily part of their routine at this age.

[Anonymous]

My kid was really into makeup as a preteen and now as a high school senior never wears it.

[Anonymous]

I think my girls were having fun with nail polish at that age. They started with a Klutz Nail Art book similar to this one, and gradually added polish colors from the drugstore. I think I also got them some lip smackers when they were about that age, but they never really got into that. They both had long hair and one of them went through a phase where she enjoyed experimenting with different hairstyles.

https://www.target.com/p/nail-art-klutz-mixed-media-product/-/A-88680886?ref=tgt_adv_xsp&AFID=google&fndsrc=tgtao&DFA=71700000012510700&CPNG=PLA_Entertainment%2BShopping%7CEntertainment_Ecomm_Hardlines&adgroup=SC_Entertainment&LID=700000001170770pgs&LNM=PRODUCT_GROUP&network=g&device=m&location=9007781&targetid=pla-308131048976&ds_rl=1246978&ds_rl=1248099&gbraid=0AAAAAD-5dfZMvByVITRgvUbvQdn9AFkrE&gclid=CjwKCAjw9pGjBhB-EiwAa5jl3OGvfeF_f9fLT32MadZU7rn8GT7ivWZuI-ukeAk096AEgIZ_kXI3BxoCisQQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Maybe let her have some makeup to play/practice with at home, but not for wearing out in public. Growing up, I had a very chic aunt who gave me tons of (very heavy 70s) makeup. It was fun to play with, but I realized I hated the feel of it. By the time I was an adult, I realized I wasn’t interested in using something that cost money, took time to apply that I could be sleeping, felt bad, and was bad for my already acne prone skin. I just don’t wear makeup, and my husband said he preferred bring able to kiss me instead of makeup. I didn’t even wear it to my wedding.

[Anonymous]

The way she described it, it sounds like an older form of dress up. I don’t see any problem with getting her some tinted lipgloss and sparkly eyeshadow and making it clear it’s just for fun - but school or outside events. You can use it as a great opportunity to talk about the amazing parts - and challenges - of being a woman, which is also a great chance to reiterate your puberty messaging. (I have a 10 yo DD as well as so I get that these things are not easy.)

[Anonymous]

We allow our 5th grader to use tinted lip balm, eyelash curler and clear mascara. No other eye makeup, unless it's a special occasion. Then she can uses light eyeshadow and regular mascara.

[Anonymous]

Ever seen Pretty Baby?

Hard no.

[Anonymous]

I’d tell her no for now; she can have tinted lip gloss when she starts sixth grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems like a great opportunity for a lot of things, including showing her you'll help with "girl stuff" before it gets more serious. And for talking about the different ways and times makeup is used (day vs night styles, cultural trends and eras, etc) and what makeup people on TV are wearing to look the way they do.

I'd get her some, show her how to use it, show her how to remove it to have clean skin, and have rules for what is ok at school vs home vs other occasions.

This. I’d get her what she wants. My kid also was interested in makeup at that age, and I got her a few colors of lip gloss, I think some eye shadow. After initial interest, she didn’t really use it. It was more to satisfy curiosity than regular use.

[Anonymous]

The Xmas my kid turned ten is when she got “practice makeup.” She got some basic eye shadow and blush. She can practice at home on the weekend. It is basically extended dress up. She rarely does it even though she would claim to be super interested. The colors I gave her barely show up. She actually does a way better job at putting it on than I would have expected.

She will wear “lip gloss” to a special event — which is basically chapstick with some sparkle. This might happen once every other month.

Honestly, I prefer not to make it the forbidden fruit. My husband is more conservative and slightly prefers she not use it at all. But he would acknowledge that this has all worked out just fine. We discussed it before she got the practice makeup for Xmas.

[Anonymous]

Nope.

I’d steer her into a skincare (cleanser, toner and moisturizer) regimen and face masks if she wants to do “self-care” or improve her self-image. Lip gloss at best and nail polish but absolutely no makeup.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure she wants to wear it out of the house?

My teen DD is not into makeup but some of her friends have elaborate makeup kits which they then use with youtube vids to make up their face.

They have great technique. I could learn a thing or two. Then they wipe the whole face off before they head out the door. It really does seem like an older form of dress up.

One thing I do like is that these kids are much better at skin care than I ever was. Applying moisturizer/sunscreen. Could you focus on basic skin care that is appropriate for a 10yo? It would set her up well for when her skin hits the teen years and she can still feel like she is pampering herself.