Blushing coworker

[Anonymous]

I have a coworker who blushes often when we interact. I try to be extra careful about what I say around him, but he still blushes a lot. I don’t see him do it when we’re in a group setting or when he’s talking to others, so I feel bad.

I assume I shouldn’t ask him if I make him uncomfortable, but I’m a little worried about getting a formal complaint. If it makes a difference, he’s often the one to initiate conversations - I remind myself when I’m worried about an HR complaint.

Should I be worried?

[Anonymous]

Be appropriate, keep the door open, don't show cleavage.

[Anonymous]

I blush a lot. It doesn’t mean I’m attracted to the person I’m talking with at the time.

[Anonymous]

Blushing is a normal bodily function that can happen for lots of reasons.

[Anonymous]

An Hr complaint about what? I am not clear what you’re worried about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An Hr complaint about what? I am not clear what you’re worried about.

That I’m inadvertently saying or doing something inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I blush a lot. It doesn’t mean I’m attracted to the person I’m talking with at the time.

+1 It's amazing how a person's demeanor changes when I blush around them. It has nothing to do with my feelings, it is just something which happens to me frequently. It endears people to me. Interestingly, I've never blushed around my dh, who I think is so handsome and who I am very attracted to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An Hr complaint about what? I am not clear what you’re worried about.

That I’m inadvertently saying or doing something inappropriate.

Unreal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I blush a lot. It doesn’t mean I’m attracted to the person I’m talking with at the time.

+1 It's amazing how a person's demeanor changes when I blush around them. It has nothing to do with my feelings, it is just something which happens to me frequently. It endears people to me. Interestingly, I've never blushed around my dh, who I think is so handsome and who I am very attracted to.

Same. I did blush with DH when we were dating. Hmmm. Maybe that contributed to him proposing on the second date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An Hr complaint about what? I am not clear what you’re worried about.

That I’m inadvertently saying or doing something inappropriate.

What are you talking about that you even need to wonder? Are you maintaining reasonable distance? Some people just blush, it’s sporadic.

[Anonymous]

He must be fair skinned so more noticeable. Ignore and move on, he does not think you are hot.

[Anonymous]

Blushing is completely out of a person’s control. Just pretend you’re not seeing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He must be fair skinned so more noticeable. Ignore and move on, he does not think you are hot.

I’m the one who said I blush a lot.

I am fair skinned. It’s terribly embarrassing and annoying when people point it out. I absolutely hate it. They usually act like it’s cute but I feel like they are making fun of me and assuming some personality trait in me that doesn’t exist. I also find it truly condescending. I don’t get mad anymore because it’s been my whole life, for the most part. So, OP, stop worrying about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He must be fair skinned so more noticeable. Ignore and move on, he does not think you are hot.

I’m the one who said I blush a lot.

I am fair skinned. It’s terribly embarrassing and annoying when people point it out. I absolutely hate it. They usually act like it’s cute but I feel like they are making fun of me and assuming some personality trait in me that doesn’t exist. I also find it truly condescending. I don’t get mad anymore because it’s been my whole life, for the most part. So, OP, stop worrying about it.

Also I’m not really this passionate about it, this thread just hit a nerve, apparently! I think because occasionally I’ll blush around men at work and I work in IT. Then some random woman thinks I’m flirting with him when really I was thinking about how fast I was talking or just became overheated. Now that I’m in my 40s I worry sometimes that at some point maybe perimenopause will make me appear like some dog in heat to people at work. LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He must be fair skinned so more noticeable. Ignore and move on, he does not think you are hot.

I’m the one who said I blush a lot.

I am fair skinned. It’s terribly embarrassing and annoying when people point it out. I absolutely hate it. They usually act like it’s cute but I feel like they are making fun of me and assuming some personality trait in me that doesn’t exist. I also find it truly condescending. I don’t get mad anymore because it’s been my whole life, for the most part. So, OP, stop worrying about it.

+1. My people! I'm fair-skinned and blush quite a bit. Certain people seem to trigger it, but it doesn't have to do with attraction. When I was heavily pregnant with my first, I worked with an older man with an Australian accent and blushed with every single interaction (at least that's how I remember it). I was mortified, but thankfully he didn't mention it, and I rolled off that project when I went out on maternity leave.