Woman with VP level jobs

[Anonymous]

How do you manage the work life balance if you are a woman with a high powered career? I do t mean the outsourcing of things like a cleaning service but how do you carve out quality time to be present with your kids? I just started a job as a VP at a new company and the demands on my time seem excessive (after work events, team dinners, travel every week and 8 am meetings which make school drop off impossible ). I am constantly getting emails over the weekend, late at night - basically 24/7. My DH has a flexible job and has picked up most of the kid related stuff but I want to be able to be present in my kids life too. I was an AVP at my old job and while there were busy times, I had much better W/L balance. I’m not lazy but need help establishing some boundaries. Also my company talks a lot about being there for working parents but doesn’t walk the walk.

[Anonymous]

Set your boundaries but you have to be willing to be fired for them. And a lot of late nights.

[Anonymous]

I have it in writing that l don’t travel more than 25% of the time. My life would be too crazy otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Welcome to executive level work. This isn’t unique to being a woman.

Your job is now your life and your family will take a backseat.

[Anonymous]

1. Either you or your DH (or the nanny, or live-in grandparent) need to be the main parent. Hint: it's probably not you. You're the one who shows up to the concert after it's already started.
2. Having a very scheduled home life helps. On Saturday mornings I work from 7-9, then parent from 9-11:30am, then work until 12:30pm while at my DD's ballet class, then parent, then work again during nap time, etc.
3. Sometimes you do what I described above (I was going to initially write 'sometimes you do #2' but then realized...) and sometimes you flat out tell people "I won't be available at all on Sunday/tonight after 6pm/this weekend." And stick to it.
4. Make your quality time with family HIGH quality. If you're eating with your family, put your phone in your bedroom, and look into the faces of your family for 45 minutes and listen to them.

[Anonymous]

Tell your husband to quit his job and be a SAHM. Sadly that is best way

[Anonymous]

It is hard. I wanted to be the default parent but had to let it go. Also had to have hard conversations with my DH (who is a fed) about things he had to do.

It is really tough.

[Anonymous]

Interestingly an NPR Foreign Correspondent wrote a memoir about this.

https://www.npr.org/2023/04/06/1168376550/nprs-mary-louise-kelly-on-motherhood-chasing-the-news

Her husband was Big Law, so I assume there were a LOT of nannies involved, but she did take a break for 5 years to be present — that won’t be an option for a VP.

Of note, both kids are heading to college by next year — and her husband has asked for a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you manage the work life balance if you are a woman with a high powered career? I do t mean the outsourcing of things like a cleaning service but how do you carve out quality time to be present with your kids? I just started a job as a VP at a new company and the demands on my time seem excessive (after work events, team dinners, travel every week and 8 am meetings which make school drop off impossible ). I am constantly getting emails over the weekend, late at night - basically 24/7. My DH has a flexible job and has picked up most of the kid related stuff but I want to be able to be present in my kids life too. I was an AVP at my old job and while there were busy times, I had much better W/L balance. I’m not lazy but need help establishing some boundaries. Also my company talks a lot about being there for working parents but doesn’t walk the walk.

I work in a big 4 accounting firm.

Honestly, the most accomplished and highly promoted women in the firm don’t have families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is hard. I wanted to be the default parent but had to let it go. Also had to have hard conversations with my DH (who is a fed) about things he had to do.

It is really tough.

Had a conversation? One key to know when you are not the default parent is you don’t get to dictate things.

He will find a way, just like if you died, it won be your way but kids will be okay.

[Anonymous]

It's the company not the career level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you manage the work life balance if you are a woman with a high powered career? I do t mean the outsourcing of things like a cleaning service but how do you carve out quality time to be present with your kids? I just started a job as a VP at a new company and the demands on my time seem excessive (after work events, team dinners, travel every week and 8 am meetings which make school drop off impossible ). I am constantly getting emails over the weekend, late at night - basically 24/7. My DH has a flexible job and has picked up most of the kid related stuff but I want to be able to be present in my kids life too. I was an AVP at my old job and while there were busy times, I had much better W/L balance. I’m not lazy but need help establishing some boundaries. Also my company talks a lot about being there for working parents but doesn’t walk the walk.

I work in a big 4 accounting firm.

Honestly, the most accomplished and highly promoted women in the firm don’t have families.

+1 Same here & have observed that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is hard. I wanted to be the default parent but had to let it go. Also had to have hard conversations with my DH (who is a fed) about things he had to do.

It is really tough.

Had a conversation? One key to know when you are not the default parent is you don’t get to dictate things.

He will find a way, just like if you died, it won be your way but kids will be okay.

This. You're not an executive at home and your DH is running the day to day. He gets to make those decisions now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you manage the work life balance if you are a woman with a high powered career? I do t mean the outsourcing of things like a cleaning service but how do you carve out quality time to be present with your kids? I just started a job as a VP at a new company and the demands on my time seem excessive (after work events, team dinners, travel every week and 8 am meetings which make school drop off impossible ). I am constantly getting emails over the weekend, late at night - basically 24/7. My DH has a flexible job and has picked up most of the kid related stuff but I want to be able to be present in my kids life too. I was an AVP at my old job and while there were busy times, I had much better W/L balance. I’m not lazy but need help establishing some boundaries. Also my company talks a lot about being there for working parents but doesn’t walk the walk.

Why do assume she has kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly an NPR Foreign Correspondent wrote a memoir about this.

https://www.npr.org/2023/04/06/1168376550/nprs-mary-louise-kelly-on-motherhood-chasing-the-news

Her husband was Big Law, so I assume there were a LOT of nannies involved, but she did take a break for 5 years to be present — that won’t be an option for a VP.

Of note, both kids are heading to college by next year — and her husband has asked for a divorce.

DP. Thanks for sharing, will plan to read.

I’m only a manager level and have been wondering if I should keep working so hard to try to set myself up for promotions because I have an infant now. It’s already incredibly difficult but hearing your experience does not make me want to push so hard for it. I’m fine with bucketing times but there’s only so many meetings you can push off and it’s pretty tough to say no to travel when all your peers are.