Are these comments just projected insecurity?

[Anonymous]

Yesterday we had a small gathering of friends over, including a couple who used to live in our area but moved away. For context, we live in a solidly middle class area, safe, only petty crime, but mainly hardworking middle class. Every time they are over here the husband has to, unprovoked and out of the blue, comment on something about our area, and his comments are always veiled insults and judgements.

Our friends moved out into the country where they are building up new houses, but it’s in a rural area with lots of drug crime and a ‘sundown town’ vibe. Their house and neighborhood and the surrounding new builds are super nice, but surrounded by the very things he projects onto our area that *aren’t actually there*, yet are very much present near him. Does that make sense? (FWIW, I’ve never brought up or mentioned or otherwise acknowledged this about his area, but the reputation proceeds the area, so it goes without saying.)

I don’t have the nerve to fight with him, but I can’t help but wonder why he feels the need to constantly criticize our area when he lives in an area people criticize? It’s like, even if our area was *actually* terrible, so is yours! So what’s your point? Is he just an ass, or is he projecting his insecurities onto us, or both?

[Anonymous]

Who cares? He sounds dreadful, stop inviting them to events. If they ask why, tell him you know he’s afraid of coming to your part of town.

[Anonymous]

He’s just convincing himself his move away was a good one. Just smile and say “I’m glad you are enjoying your new area. “ and then change the topic.

[Anonymous]

Stop inviting them over or just do girls events with the wife

[Anonymous]

Any chance they personally experience something bad in your area or someone close to them did?

Regardless, I probably would have called him out on it.

“I hear what you’re saying, Dave. Fortunately, we’ve never experienced anything like that here. And recent crime statistics aren’t worrisome. What’s crime like in your area? I had read somewhere that Whatever Town was grappling with crime and other issues stemming from opioid addicts.”

[Anonymous]

He's criticizing his own former neighborhood. He's expressing why he moved and what he doesn't miss. It's not about "your" neighborhood. Just guessing.

[Anonymous]

How many times have you visited them in “their area”? Sounds like they’re speaking from experience and you’re speaking from rumors you heard about where they live.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean by petty crime? Home invasions, muggings and car jackings?

[Anonymous]

And, you are posting this why?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like they moved to somewhere like West Virginia and feel they have to justify it. I personally think West Virginia is beautiful but, yes, there is a big drug problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any chance they personally experience something bad in your area or someone close to them did?

Regardless, I probably would have called him out on it.

“I hear what you’re saying, Dave. Fortunately, we’ve never experienced anything like that here. And recent crime statistics aren’t worrisome. What’s crime like in your area? I had read somewhere that Whatever Town was grappling with crime and other issues stemming from opioid addicts.”

No! In fact a year or so ago they were considering moving back!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your town isn’t as great as you think it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by petty crime? Home invasions, muggings and car jackings?

Kids breaking in to unlocked cars, retail theft, things like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by petty crime? Home invasions, muggings and car jackings?

Kids breaking in to unlocked cars, retail theft, things like that.

That’s what people call a shady neighborhood, not a safe neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many times have you visited them in “their area”? Sounds like they’re speaking from experience and you’re speaking from rumors you heard about where they live.

Many times! My parents live in the area, and I often visit my friends when I visit my parents.