Trifecta anyone? Teens, needy/challenging elderly parents and peri menopause/menopause
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Anonymous
| Raise your hand if you are in the club! Bonus points for other stressors like health issues, child with special needs, financial stress and others. I raise a green smoothie to us all. I would raise a glass of wine or a roll of cookie dough but if I added alcohol to this mess I think I’d become an alcoholic and if I added junk pretty sure with my luck I’d develop Type 2 diabetes, so If I’m gonna survive this I’ve gotta stick to heathy fuel. To others…how are you doing? This sux! |
Anonymous
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I’ll sit next to you. Curmudgeonly father that lives in my basement. 3/4 of the way through menopause but recently dx with breast cancer so after radiation and medication I’ll fully be there. SN DS with ADHD/Anxiety/ASD. Moody teen daughter. Favorite activity amongst the children is called
who can irritate the other more. Favorite activity of my father is seeing the negative in every situation, pointing it out, and then sharing why his viewpoint is correct and everyone else is wrong. I like the idea of drinking more than the effects of actual drinking these days. |
Anonymous
I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible. That is really tough! Please keep us posted so we can cheer you on through treatment and all of this mess. |
Anonymous
| Ha! Add seriously ill spouse to the mix and I'm in. |
Anonymous
right there with you. Add in a narcissistic spouse to boot and trying to have a career. Makes me want to embrace my Angela Bassett on all of them like this scene 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCGy94Lqeh8 |
Anonymous
Yup. All that and a stubborn lady from MIL hell. You'll live but stress would change your mental, physical, relational and financial health forever. I think those 10 years added 20 years to my age. However, looking back, would do it all again with minor adjustments. When you have loved ones, there are consequences but better than not loving at all. Imho, your mileage may vary. |
Anonymous
So sorry to hear that. Hope things improve considerably. |
Anonymous
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I went through my local father’s prolonged illness to include him moving to skilled nursing then 6 months under hospice. Four years of hell. During this time, my oldest DD needed more support for ongoing and worsening anxiety and depression and affiliated health issues - and I began a new career. DD graduated HS. My other 2DC we entering HS and MS.
Also, completed menopause at 49 and my hormones and dealing with the death of my father caused me to have a brutal relapse of my panic disorder. Spent one summer in therapy and titrating to an effective level of an SSRI. |
Anonymous
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Oh yeah! Just went through menopause, have a teen and sn elem kiddo at home still. Dad has Parkinsons which is progressing rapidly now and Mom is mostly but won't be fully recovered from a broken hip and insists that they stay in their home and have NO in home help. I work full time and commute 2 hrs a day so...I do what I can.
My kids are great and help a lot. I guess it will be ok until it isn't, until one or both of them get hurt or ill. Sometimes the stress makes my heart beat weird, probably palpitations. I never saw this growing up, because my own grandparents had all passed when they are younger than my folks now. My folks never did this kind of care. |
Anonymous
| Yep, I’m here too. SN kid at home, parents aren’t local, and empty-nester sibling makes me feel guilty that I can’t drop everything to be there for every emergency. |
Anonymous
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Count me in. Midlife health issues cropping up, one living parent who is difficult as hell, two aging ILs who are actually ramping up family drama, kid with sn, struggling with work stress. At least DH and I are solid, but we're both very worn down and traveling on fumes.
I come to this board so I don't feel alone, but I'm sorry we're all going through this. |
Anonymous
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OP and PPs, I finally made it to the other side though not easy. Thinking of all of you and wishing you truly the very best on this journey. Please come here to vent when you need to - there are village of DCUMers here to offer support.
xoxo |
Anonymous
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I’m in too. Though right now all four grandparents are in good shape and not needy, but it’s only a matter of time.
Currently, it’s the teens who give me stress. Peri has been manageable so far but seems to have taken away my waist! |
Anonymous
Seconding this. Spent several years in the hell of sandwich generation stress. Parents are gone now and menopause is over and life is MUCH calmer. It will get easier, but not without going through the storm first. Hang in there! I found great comfort and advice on this board when I was really in the weeds, so just echoing the pp's support. |
Anonymous
It's good to hear this. I'm another in the trifecta sandwich boat. Glad it gets better instead of sinking. |