Husband refuses to “play” with kid.

[Anonymous]

He will not engage 2 year old when it comes to occupying her with activities. He all of a sudden has something to do. He would rather cook, walk the dog or invoice a client than play with our little one. He is fine watching her locked inside a high chair or other contraption. But playing is not his thing, as if he is too grown to play. Im the only one who plays outside with her. I hit balls, push her on toys, blow bubbles, write with chalk etc… My eye rolls are getting longer each day he doesn’t play. I’ve mentioned this to him before but things aren’t changing. I’m the one that teaches her everything initially but he will reinforce things with her once she has shown she knows something and somehow he is praised for it. Not sure what I’m asking. Just venting.

Has anyone had a spouse not play but eventually give in. Im a SAHM too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He will not engage 2 year old when it comes to occupying her with activities. He all of a sudden has something to do. He would rather cook, walk the dog or invoice a client than play with our little one. He is fine watching her locked inside a high chair or other contraption. But playing is not his thing, as if he is too grown to play. Im the only one who plays outside with her. I hit balls, push her on toys, blow bubbles, write with chalk etc… My eye rolls are getting longer each day he doesn’t play. I’ve mentioned this to him before but things aren’t changing. I’m the one that teaches her everything initially but he will reinforce things with her once she has shown she knows something and somehow he is praised for it. Not sure what I’m asking. Just venting.

Has anyone had a spouse not play but eventually give in. Im a SAHM too.

Some men are mire comfortable when their kids are older

[Anonymous]

Not everyone plays. It sounds like he’s engaged. And it’s great that he reinforces what you’re teaching.

[Anonymous]

What happens if your are out and it’s just the two of them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What happens if your are out and it’s just the two of them?

OP here. She is usually put on some type of contraption like a high chair, playpen, or stroller. She outgrew the bouncey thing but I saw him stuff her in there one day. He’s running out of options quickly. Im sure he’ll purchase enlarged holder soon. It’s annoying because I don't like playing sometimes either but I do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone plays. It sounds like he’s engaged. And it’s great that he reinforces what you’re teaching.

He is engaged as long as she isn’t running around. I just wish he would initiate play sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He will not engage 2 year old when it comes to occupying her with activities. He all of a sudden has something to do. He would rather cook, walk the dog or invoice a client than play with our little one. He is fine watching her locked inside a high chair or other contraption. But playing is not his thing, as if he is too grown to play. Im the only one who plays outside with her. I hit balls, push her on toys, blow bubbles, write with chalk etc… My eye rolls are getting longer each day he doesn’t play. I’ve mentioned this to him before but things aren’t changing. I’m the one that teaches her everything initially but he will reinforce things with her once she has shown she knows something and somehow he is praised for it. Not sure what I’m asking. Just venting.

Has anyone had a spouse not play but eventually give in. Im a SAHM too.

Some men are mire comfortable when their kids are older

I’m hoping this is the case then.

[Anonymous]

A lot of men don't relate to little kids. Kids under 4 or 5. But he'll take a load off when the kid is a teen and you can't handle the kid.

This is a long road, OP. Don't force to play with a 2-year-old and he'll step in when the kid is older and you can't deal.

[Anonymous]

Wow my husband isn't playful with me but he plays with my 2 year old nephew. This would definitely bother me.

[Anonymous]

Most adult men don’t want to play with a two year old. Never have, never will. At least not for a sustained period of time.

A father can love his child, be a good father, and have a strong emotional bond without a bunch of infant playtime. Any expectation of this is something that psychiatrists and bored women have completely invented within the last 30 years or so.

[Anonymous]

I didn't like playing with my kids all the time when they were little either. I would have preferred to write and invoice or make a spreadsheet. Now once they could talk and reason, I was all over the parenting and learning. I intentionally hired a nanny with the skills I lacked. DH was a bit like me, except he was more confident stuffing the kids in a hiking pack and going outside. I felt like they just wanted to pull my hair out - my husband is bald, so it didn't bother him. For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter... just be patient.

[Anonymous]

Will he take her to the playground? Supervise her playing independently? I don’t think not playing *with* her matters (and you can probably give yourself a break there OP) but not letting her explore/run/play when he’s watching her isn’t great.

As for teaching I think it’s pretty reasonable that he would defer to you there since you’re a SAHM. If you him to do more maybe focus on that aspect of things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of men don't relate to little kids. Kids under 4 or 5. But he'll take a load off when the kid is a teen and you can't handle the kid.

This is a long road, OP. Don't force to play with a 2-year-old and he'll step in when the kid is older and you can't deal.

This makes me feel better. I wasn't thinking long term. Glad to hear from those with older kids. I’m in the thick of toddlerhood. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Playing with kids (especially toddlers) is so boring. He should put her in a childproofed room and let her explore while he does whatever in the same room.

[Anonymous]

Meh. I didn’t enjoy playing with my kids. Playing with a 2 year old is not that fun. I preferred to take them somewhere.