Bad child/teen

[Anonymous]

Were you a bad teen that turned into an ok or excellent adult?

Are your children better than the child you were?

How did your parents handle you?

Did you have/not have compassion then? What about now?

[Anonymous]

^ Compassion for your parents

[Anonymous]

What bad behaviors have you noticed, OP?

[Anonymous]

How much time does your teen spend on her social media?

And which platform?

[Anonymous]

Yes I was
I’m an excellent adult
I don’t think my kids are “batter” or “worse” they have different challenges and opportunities

I have compassion and understanding but I have a pretty steady expectation

[Anonymous]

you need to define "bad" like deal drugs or mean girl?

[Anonymous]

Your child needs help. You need to identify the root problem and provide the needed help. No child is just inherently "bad" (okay maybe there are legit sociopaths but the stats say this is a tiny percentage of people and likely not OP's kid.)

[Anonymous]

Stop beating around the bush, OP, and just share what your issue is with your "bad" child so you can get the advice you're desperately seeking.

[Anonymous]

my dad was a "bad" kid/teen...fighting, drinking too much, etc. He finished college, had a successful career, has remained married for many decades, raised kids, no criminal record.

HOWEVER. He is someone who, if he were a kid now, probably would have been diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, and/or ASD. He would have benefitted a lot from occupational therapy, executive function assistance, counseling (individual and family--some of his challenges are similar to mental health issues his parents had, and there was some level of family dysfunction and trauma), and probably meds. But that wasn't an option when he was young and he didn't seek that help as a younger adult. Now he takes a stimulant and an antidepressant and has a lower-stress life and goes to counseling and the difference is huge. Unfortunately, he can't just wipe away the consequences that living with him in his untreated state put on his spouse and kids. He was not always an easy person to live with--and sometimes was downright frightening. With a family history of dementia, we don't know how long we'll get to enjoy this version of him or how he'll age.

So, OP, there is hope for your kid--but PLEASE help him or her get any help you can. It will be better for you, your kid, and their future family.

[Anonymous]

Well, the point was to get all about the adults, not the kids. Many adults confess to have drunk, shoplifted, fake ids. Etc, so I thought to ask. I could have asked in the adult children forum, or the family relationship one, but then I thought this one was best.

So many adults complain about their parents, but I wonder if they ever reflect on the child they were. ,

[Anonymous]

Neither my husband nor I misbehaved. We both have high IQs but are inattentive. My husband also has Asperger's tendencies. I have low processing speed. We never related our difficulties in school or life with these things until our son was diagnosed with severe ADHD, abysmally low processing speed and HFA (high-functioning autism). Genetics! Thankfully I insisted on evaluations, therapies and meds. DS is more impacted than us, but we hope he can still live a fulfilling and independent life.

We understand our parents did not live in a time when these diagnoses were easy to think about or assess. They were barely aware there was something called hyperactivity - but didn't know about the inattentive type, or the rest. My husband and I missed out on so many early options for treatment, and faced many hurdles in our academic, professional and private lives. Living with people with socio-communicative disorders is HARD. Life is not easy for me with those two.

But we make do. None of this is anyone's fault.

[Anonymous]

Any chance they could be struggling with gender identity issues OP ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any chance they could be struggling with gender identity issues OP ?

Are you hoping?

[Anonymous]

Sibling and I were both bad in different ways. I actually feel really bad about what it did to our parents.

I grew into a normal adult, sibling did not. My kids are much better than I was (though not perfect).

[Anonymous]

My sibling was a mess in HS. Drugs, alcohol, you name it, they did it. Arrested for shoplifting. Now mid-50s, happily married to a great partner with 2 fabulous kids