Help! Meeting with jerk VP this week
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Anonymous
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I try to stay under the radar with this leader. My number is up and I have to meet with him a few times this week on a project. He is the kind of person who runs hot and cold in under a minute. He is mean, antagonizing, and is entertained by “pushing buttons.” Everything you say he will object and tell you in non-fireable language that you are an idiot. He also loves to place blame on others and use the “I’ll call your bosses boss to get you fired.” My coworkers either give in, suck up, or cry. There are a lot of tears when people come out of his office. Even my boss cried.
He is meeting with me because I didn’t give up ground during a belittling session. My boss prepped me with advice. She said I should just give him the reaction he wants which is basically telling him he’s the golden calf and I am lucky to worship him. F-no! I have no respect for jerks like this. HR does nothing. How do I a) not give in to his BS b) not get fired? |
Anonymous
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Do not
Defend Explain Engage Personalize If you don't follow your boss's advice, are you prepared to quit? Can you just sit quietly in the meeting, and then only speak when spoken to? |
Anonymous
| Exactly how important is b? This is the kind of situation I’d be tempted to choose the nuclear option as long as I could afford to be unemployed for a while. |
Anonymous
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Since nothing you say or do in the meeting will change him or his mind, I'd sit their like a potato and zone out during his anticipated tirade, criticism, and whatever else he does to make himself feel better about his own (personal) insecurities. He lives for getting a reaction vis belittling and bullying. You know yourself and your workmanship so don't take his belittling personally. His empty threats to fire you are loose at best given there's no merit behind it.
It's the passive aggressive way to take the high road. Hang in there. |
Anonymous
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Sit. Listen. Say nothing unless asked directly. Thank him for the feedback at the end.
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Anonymous
| When I had a boss like this I remained calm in meetings and then gave him a complete cold shoulder after. He was surprisingly bothered by that! But he also fancied himself a glad-hander. |
Anonymous
| Discreetly document every slight and uncomfortable event. Date, time, narrative, etc. You may never need to use that history but writing it can be very therapeutic. |
Anonymous
This image of him as a glad hander from Toon Town made laugh. Locations: Silly Street Lighthouse Lane Elm Street Oak Street Alto Avenue Sleet Street Lullaby Lane Sellbot Headquarters Sellbot Factory Sellbot Towers Cog building Starting battle phrases: "You'll find I'm a handful." "I'm a very hands-on kinda guy." "Offhandedly, I'd say you're in trouble." "Let's get right to the business at hand." "I think the handwriting is on the wall." "I can be quite handy." "Would you like some hand-me-downs?" "Let me show you some of my handiwork." "Let's seal the deal." "Let's shake on it." "Put it there, Toon." "You'll notice I have a very firm grip." "I'm going to enjoy this." "This is going to be fun." "I'm glad you came!" Seriously OP. Can you get through the meeting without laughing at him as a Glad Handler from Toon Town? |
Anonymous
Terrible advice. Don't waste the time. |
Anonymous
Yup. |
Anonymous
| Why does the company need him? What makes him valuable? |
Anonymous
| Look up the Grey Rock method. Just try to say as little as possible. |
Anonymous
I’d do this. He feeds off your reaction. Don’t give him any. But stay professional. |
Anonymous
| Out of curiosity, why hasn’t the VP himself been fired yet? |
Anonymous
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You could do what I did and go nuclear. I did lose my job due to a "layoff" afterward which is what I expected to happen. I have no regrets though because I made his life a bit difficult and left with my self-respect.
But I did this knowing I would be fine financially. If not, I would have gray-rocked her while looking for a new job. |