can ADHD kid do well at big state school?

[Anonymous]

My Senior dd has bad ADHD, inattentive, and she is medicated, also some depression. She has bad executive functioning skills. Despite it, She did well (B's) in high school due to a lot of micromanaging by me each semester when she forgot to do/turn in assignments and didn't study/know how to study for tests. And she got a solid ACT score.

She got into many colleges (around rank 70-100), but her 2 favorites (which are also the highest ranked) are our 2 closest big state public schools (like 30,000 undergrads).

Can an ADHD kid like her be successful at the big state public college? If so, how? Any parents have a kid/situation like this? The Living Learning communities look great and like a good support network. What else? Or would she be set up for failure?

[Anonymous]

Visit the Disability Services office, and ask how kids do with a similar profile.

Find out what services they offer (like meeting with a coach?).

I would say, given her history with depression, that you should keep her relatively close by (so you can easily check on her if you start having concerns). Obviously, her health is more important than her grades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Senior dd has bad ADHD, inattentive, and she is medicated, also some depression. She has bad executive functioning skills. Despite it, She did well (B's) in high school due to a lot of micromanaging by me each semester when she forgot to do/turn in assignments and didn't study/know how to study for tests. And she got a solid ACT score.

She got into many colleges (around rank 70-100), but her 2 favorites (which are also the highest ranked) are our 2 closest big state public schools (like 30,000 undergrads).

Can an ADHD kid like her be successful at the big state public college? If so, how? Any parents have a kid/situation like this? The Living Learning communities look great and like a good support network. What else? Or would she be set up for failure?

IMO, many ADHD kids would do better at a smaller university. Smaller classes with professors that get to know your kid. Much easier for the kid to reach out for help in a class with 40-50 students and at a school where the professors typically take the time to care about the students.
My ADHD kid had a 3.5 HS gpa and had learned to be fairly organized by then and only required a few reminders from me in HS (thanks to tons of tutoring and coaching for executive functioning). They struggled at college first year, but were able to get the help they needed by going to profs and the disability center. IMO they would have been lost at a larger school (their school was ~8K undergrads). Even with their larger science courses (200) the professors actually cared and my kid sought out the extra help to "pass" but eventually realized needed a major switch (as in the science prof came in on Sunday after thanksgiving to tutor my kid at 7pm when their flight landed, despite the prof having 2 young kids at home and it's THANKSGIVING weekend---I don't see that happening at a large state U, I just don't). I just know my kid would have gotten lost at a school with 20K+ undergrads. Freshman year was stressful and a huge adjustment for a kid that lacks ExFunctioning--because College assumes your kid has those skills. And it seems you daughter needs more assistance than my kid did (nothing wrong with that, but you gotta meet your kid at where they are in life to help them succeed).

Note: my kid switched majors (out of premed/prehealth), graduated in 4 years (with 3 summer courses to make up for W'd/dropped courses), and has a great job and is functioning well as an adult 1.5 years out of college (living 2K miles from home, just like college was).

[Anonymous]

My DD was diagnosed with ADHD only after an absolutely traumatic freshman year in college which led to a 2.5 GPA (former straight A student). A switch in major and meds have put her back on an OK path, but she still has trouble making it to her 9 am class because she absolutely does not wake up to her alarm. Anyway, this is in a school with about 15K undergrad and NO one cared. No one followed up with her, office hours were not much help to get her where she needed to be. So yea, in retrospect, a smaller liberal arts school probably would have been an easier transition.

[Anonymous]

As a kid with ADHD, I did my best at a smaller school where it was easy to build relationships with professors and the staff. They got to know me, still held me accountable but really helped me to build strategies that sick with me to this day. Plus we learned the importance of things like being on time which is difficult with ADHD but I learned that it's better to get there at 30 minutes early and wait than 15 minutes late. That's helped me a lot.

If she can build a network like that on her own in say a church or other type of community org, then maybe a bigger school would be good, but I loved the small school I went to for my professors.

[Anonymous]

Your DD sounds somewhat similar to a close friend's daughter. A 20k student school was too large for her and she fell through the cracks, got the run around at times, and performed poorly. Did not return year 2. Another vote for smaller more personalized school.

[Anonymous]

Our friends' daughter did great at a 20k-student school. Her 800 verbal SAT vs. the average of around 600 probably helped a lot.

[Anonymous]

My DS with ADHD is at a 20,000+ student public university. He definitely had a period of adjustment and made a few mistakes first semester (he had to withdraw from a class after completing a large assignment on time and failing to follow the instructions on how to turn it in. He couldn't take the 0 and still pass the class). He also forgot to add the lab section for one of his classes to his Google calendar so he missed it for half of the semester (forgot that it existed) - I think he ended up with a C in that one, but he learned from these mistakes and didn't repeat them. He's graduating in May with a decent GPA.

I will say that DS, who has been on meds since age 7, did not have me micromanaging anything for him in HS (he chose to take a mix of honors, AP and regular classes so his workload was manageable for him - it wasn't always pretty, but he usually pulled out a decent grade and I just did not involve myself). He did not have an IEP or extra time or anything like that, and did not specifically seek out any services at the university. It probably also helps that he is an arts major - if I had insisted he become an engineer or an accountant because he's good at math, I don't think he would be graduating.

My advice to OP would be to step away from micromanaging DD's work asap, consider encouraging a lighter course load first semester (maybe 12-14 credits), and if there are areas where she particularly struggles, consider taking a class in that subject in the summer when it can get her full attention.

[Anonymous]

They can if they are proactive about the services/accommodations they are given.

Professors will not actively seek out the students to discuss their accommodations. Students must go to the professors and make sure they know their face/name and what accommodations they have. It is also the student's responsibility to make sure all arrangements are in place for tests. For example, if their accommodation says they get extra time for tests, they must work with the professor and testing center to schedule their time to take the test. Often the professor wants them to take the test at the exact same time as the rest of the class so that no funny business goes on.

Professors are also pains in the butt about giving out their full lecture notes. My DS has encountered this one more than once. His accommodation says that he gets all lecture slides/notes in PDF format. He's had several professors fight him on this - they claim the notes are copyrighted or proprietary and not for distribution - and he's had to escalate to Disability Services.

[Anonymous]

my kid did great at one of the biggest schools in the country.

get them set up with disability services. they can provide help with class schedules, note taking and other stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS with ADHD is at a 20,000+ student public university. He definitely had a period of adjustment and made a few mistakes first semester (he had to withdraw from a class after completing a large assignment on time and failing to follow the instructions on how to turn it in. He couldn't take the 0 and still pass the class). He also forgot to add the lab section for one of his classes to his Google calendar so he missed it for half of the semester (forgot that it existed) - I think he ended up with a C in that one, but he learned from these mistakes and didn't repeat them. He's graduating in May with a decent GPA.

I will say that DS, who has been on meds since age 7, did not have me micromanaging anything for him in HS (he chose to take a mix of honors, AP and regular classes so his workload was manageable for him - it wasn't always pretty, but he usually pulled out a decent grade and I just did not involve myself). He did not have an IEP or extra time or anything like that, and did not specifically seek out any services at the university. It probably also helps that he is an arts major - if I had insisted he become an engineer or an accountant because he's good at math, I don't think he would be graduating.

My advice to OP would be to step away from micromanaging DD's work asap, consider encouraging a lighter course load first semester (maybe 12-14 credits), and if there are areas where she particularly struggles, consider taking a class in that subject in the summer when it can get her full attention.

Good idea—but know if kid takes a lighter course load fall semester, there is no leeway for dropping a class if struggling.
Sometimes it’s best to start with 15-16 credits and then reevaluate before the drop deadline or the W deadline

[Anonymous]

Mine is at a large OOS flagship, is medicated, and meets with an Exec Function coach weekly to help with planning/time management

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine is at a large OOS flagship, is medicated, and meets with an Exec Function coach weekly to help with planning/time management

Thanks. I will try to get her an Exec Function coach at whatever school she goes to. Did you find one there, and if so how? (I don't think a virtual Exec coach would be helpful for my dd).
Do they meet at the library or where?

Thanks to others for your posts and those who mentioned a Disability Services department. I will check that out.
I also like the idea of the Living Learning community dorms. That seems like it will make things more manageable/enjoyable for her. Do any of your kids live in one?

[Anonymous]

Literally you are describing my kid. Adhd, and accepted to many schools ranked 50-100. She is a freshman at large state public. She is a 3 hour drive.
Many large state publics have accomodations. I remember being very impressed at Rutgers and Indiana accomodations specifically. My dd did not go to either of these schools. Her school does have accomodations, but she has taken advantage of nothing. She got a 2.0 first semester. You can lead a horse to water...
I have taken a hands off approach since she has been in college. In HS it was the source of too many argements, looking at ParentVue constantly.
Def keep her within a few hour drive, esp since you mention depression.
Good luck, she can do it. and a living/learning community sounds great.

[Anonymous]

There’s such a range of severity to ADHD that it’s almost hard to glean from comments. Your DD sounds like she’s struggled more than some and has needed more help than some, which would make me worry about going with the “my kid did fine at a big school” crowd, unless really understanding what the disability services office can do that impacts a student on a daily basis.

Most professors at large schools can be very friendly of course when you go in advance for help,but it is true that they are absolutely not babysitting anyone, and would have no idea who is and isn’t showing up for large classes and would not communicate with them about their absence. It’s just really easy to skip classes or fade into the woodwork, if you’re not a self-starter. STEM classes can be especially hard, since they are so large and also more detail oriented. I would try to find a smaller school that she likes.