What to do when a young kid complains about a sport?

[Anonymous]

Some background... young kid on a high-level travel team. I know this is ridiculous, but it is what it is.

Practices minimally 3 days a week during the spring and fall plus a game. Winter has been way more training, but dialed it back. Just doesn't seem into the sport anymore, which is the frustrating part about pushing some kids too much when they are too little. Complains about practice every single time has to go. Doesn't give it all at practice. Other kids have progressed. There is an intense spring schedule coming up.

What should I do as a parent? Should I talk to the coach? I don't think this is the right environment. Should I push to finish out the season, learn from it, and have a long discussion about next year (give it up, move to a different team)? Any advice appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Generally, if the kid asked to be signed up, then he needs to finish the season. But he doesn't have to sign up for the next season. He can take a break from that sport entirely, or downgrade to a less intense club or rec league.

If there's a break between winter and spring, and if someone else could conceivably fill the spot if you left (there's an opportunity for new people to sign up) I'd treat that as finishing the season.

How old is your kid? That might change things.

[Anonymous]

OP. 8

[Anonymous]

Op. Have already paid in full. Several kids available to take spot.

[Anonymous]

At 8, I would dial it WAY back down. Leave the travel team. Don't sign up for another one until middle school, if the child is still interested. It's way too young for travel sports, all those kids will have stress injuries by 14.

Let him play rec. It will be ok, I promise. No one is getting a soccer scholarship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op. Have already paid in full. Several kids available to take spot.

Well, the money is out of the door, so don't think about it. If he's miserable and its making everyone else miserable, just quit and take the loss. Play cheap rec.

[Anonymous]

I make my kids finish whatever commitment they made (and that I paid for)
After that, time to try something new.
An 8 year old shouldn't be miserable playing a sport. (And also shouldn't be playing the same sport 4 or 5 times per week year round. No wonder he hates it.)

[Anonymous]

I have an 8 year old and there is no way I'd force them to continue. Yes I would be sad about the money, but this was really more your choice than theirs. 8 year olds can't commit to something like this without a parent pushing them into it.

[Anonymous]

Let them drop back a level or quit. If they aren't the ones begging to play more or play at a higher level, then you need to rethink things

[Anonymous]

Let him play a different sport, mix it up. Don't focus too much too early. Find a team that isn't making the kids play that much, it's a recipe for burnout. If your kid is good, he'll continue to develop through playing multiple sports, and he won't lose his love for it.


--coach and parent of 2 playing college sports

[Anonymous]

I may be in the minority, but i'd see how the Spring season goes before making any major decisions. NO ONE likes practicing in the cold when they're this young. It's a lot!

And a hard truth is that if you leave the team they may not welcome you back, even on a lower team. There's politics even at young ages.

[Anonymous]

Pull him. My almost 11 year old just started travel this year (after playing her sport for several years before that). She has literally never complained about going to practice EVER. If she did regularly, I would pull her in an instant. I think it is too much (even at her age, and she is older than your DS), but it is 100% kid-driven so we go along with it. If she were complaining about every practice, there is NO WAY I would keep her in. (My DD is on a sought after team and I know she could be replaced in an instant--I might feel differently if she could not.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. 8

OP I know you know the answer to this, and I am sorry as well. He is too young and now he is burnt out from the sport. Tell him to finish the season and then take a break from the sport. Try rec next time, something a LOT less intense if it is a sport he wants to keep with or have him pick the sports he will do.

I am a BTDT mom, and caution friends all the time to take it slow. VERY few kids can handle that level of intensity that young - they are easy to spot because they tend to be intense kids with a lot of energy (who get mean when they are not involved with their sport).

Once you get to travel level, your kid has to be the one to want it, not you. There are ways to help though. Invite boys from the team over for playdates, sleepovers, fun excursions, etc. If they kids are friends then they will generally look forward to practice because they are with their friends. That is a huge component to any sport/activity.

[Anonymous]

When did the complaints and other signs of burnout start? How long have they been going on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. 8

OMG OP why is your kid on a travel team practicing that much at 8?

You did this. Have them finish the term that you paid for and stop. Just stop do not sign them up for this again til MS.

Parents who do this have zero clue about parenting.


Mother of multiple sports kids, who played Divison 1 in college. None of mine ever did what you are describing at 8. From injuries alone it's stupid.