My daughter (senior in college) has barely any friends but doesn’t care

[Anonymous]

I find this troubling. She has been “successful” in college—big state flagship—great grades, had internship, has job lined up etc but keeps in touch with 3 people from high school and just has a bunch of acquaintances from college activities that she does not interact with any of them outside of those activities. She lives with basically random roommates every year. She is unbothered by this, but I think it is socially inappropriate. Would this bother you?

[Anonymous]

It wouldn't bother me, I am an introvert. Its probably time to trust her to lead her life her way. It may not be the way you chose to do things but if she is unbothered by it, just let it be.

[Anonymous]

Yes this would bother me as the parent. Logically I know it's fine, everybody is just different, but I had such a polar opposite experience in college that I would wonder why.

[Anonymous]

It's definitely not socially inappropriate! Is she happy? Then let her be.

[Anonymous]

She probably cares but doesn’t want to discuss it with her mother.

She got great grades while also interning. That takes up a lot of time.

I got stuck with a bad freshman hall and wound up only making a couple friends in college. More acquaintances, but I just didn’t have that great college experience. It happens.

[Anonymous]

I graduated from college at age 23. By the time I was 24 I lived many states away and never talked to any of my college friends again. I'm 46 now and don't even remember their names. Maybe one was Nicole, but I'm not sure? Vanessa? I don't know. I'm happy. Not everyone finds their tribe in college, and that's okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find this troubling. She has been “successful” in college—big state flagship—great grades, had internship, has job lined up etc but keeps in touch with 3 people from high school and just has a bunch of acquaintances from college activities that she does not interact with any of them outside of those activities. She lives with basically random roommates every year. She is unbothered by this, but I think it is socially inappropriate. Would this bother you?

No. Your dd is an adult. Leave her alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes this would bother me as the parent. Logically I know it's fine, everybody is just different, but I had such a polar opposite experience in college that I would wonder why.

What would do about it? Your job is done. It is your dd"s life. She has enough friends for her.

[Anonymous]

She is not you, OP. Accept it. Let your daughter be who she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes this would bother me as the parent. Logically I know it's fine, everybody is just different, but I had such a polar opposite experience in college that I would wonder why.

What would do about it? Your job is done. It is your dd"s life. She has enough friends for her.

I didn't say I would do anything. Just that it would bother me. It would make me feel sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes this would bother me as the parent. Logically I know it's fine, everybody is just different, but I had such a polar opposite experience in college that I would wonder why.

What would do about it? Your job is done. It is your dd"s life. She has enough friends for her.

I didn't say I would do anything. Just that it would bother me. It would make me feel sad.

Well it doesn't make her sad. Find something else to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes this would bother me as the parent. Logically I know it's fine, everybody is just different, but I had such a polar opposite experience in college that I would wonder why.

What would do about it? Your job is done. It is your dd"s life. She has enough friends for her.

I didn't say I would do anything. Just that it would bother me. It would make me feel sad.

Well it doesn't make her sad. Find something else to worry about.

What is wrong with you? I don’t even have a daughter at college. I just answered OP’s question.

[Anonymous]

Not at a big school, it wouldn’t. Very normal to only have a few close friends unless you are extroverted, member of a sports team, or in a sorority. She’s doing well, relax.

[Anonymous]

This wouldn't bother me at all. She has seemingly become content with herself and is pushing her goals forward via internship etc. Friend groups shrink over time so if she has a few close friends now I think that's totally fine. She doesn't need to have a bunch of drinking buddies.

[Anonymous]

The only thing that seems socially inappropriate here is that her mother is telling her how many friends she should have. She sounds like a happy, involved, well adjusted, and social adult. But you will always find some reason to criticize how she runs her life. Soon, she will set her boundaries, move far away, and limit contact.