Jen Hatmaker

[Anonymous]

Wondering how this poster feels he/she knows Brandon is a deadbeat. Seems to have a good enough relationship with his kids so that would be surprising, considering everything.

[Anonymous]

Who knows her reasoning for announcing her new relationship, but it may be so that she can own the narrative rather than having it leaked. Comparing her dating life to someone who isn’t a public figure isn’t quite apples to apples. I am not a super fan, but I have been encouraged by some of Jen’s statements on faith and politics. I am happy for her—to the extent that I care about what a stranger puts on the internet. Maybe this is forever or maybe it’s just a season. I think her willingness to share clearly benefits her, but her story also seems to be meaningful to lots of her followers. I don’t get the jealousy, vitriol, or snark in so many of these posts. Why the hate? Most of it seems to be politically motivated. Unfollow and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who knows her reasoning for announcing her new relationship, but it may be so that she can own the narrative rather than having it leaked. Comparing her dating life to someone who isn’t a public figure isn’t quite apples to apples. I am not a super fan, but I have been encouraged by some of Jen’s statements on faith and politics. I am happy for her—to the extent that I care about what a stranger puts on the internet. Maybe this is forever or maybe it’s just a season. I think her willingness to share clearly benefits her, but her story also seems to be meaningful to lots of her followers. I don’t get the jealousy, vitriol, or snark in so many of these posts. Why the hate? Most of it seems to be politically motivated. Unfollow and move on.

I think that’s the problem - she has to announce it since she lives such a public life. If it’s leaked, it will seem like she was hiding it.
Plus it’s her thing to share everything.

[Anonymous]

No political reason as I largely am in sync with her stated positions. Not at all jealousy as I don’t envy this sort of me me me lifestyle and fakiness.

Mostly it’s how fake and phony she is and how she presents herself as having all the answers in such an obnoxious over the top way and how she milks her followers all day long to support her lifestyle. Jen’s an example of late state capitalism as someone who preys on the insecurities of women to support her lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4000 gushy comments. Did anyone push back?

Nobody ever pushes back!!!

Both Jenn abs in the past Brandon delete any negative comments, regardless of how polite or respectful they may be. Ask me how I know.

It’s just another sign of how fake they are. It curates a false world of 100% agreement.

Or maybe I’m just a bitter racist misogynist.
(Psssst, Tyler, we give it 6 months till you’re a bitter racist misogynist too.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I am super thrilled for her black kids to have this man in their lives (assuming he is a good human).

My parents got divorced when I was 19 and it was much less “traumatic” than Jen’s supposedly was and definitely more private.

If either of my parents had been dating Jesus Christ himself I wouldn’t want anything to do with them.

I know her kids are older but I still say you don’t date for a while or keep it on the down low low low for a good while after divorce. It’s literally traumatic to see your parents with another person when all you’ve ever known is them as the head of your family. You’re still trying to figure out where you’re gonna spend Christmas and thanksgiving and who to ask for gas money and now you’ve got their SO with all their own baggage and their own kids you gotta deal with on top of grieving the end of your family as you knew it. And now you gotta be nice to Barbie and watch her flirt with your dad 🤮 and act happy for your mom and try not to think about her having sex with random NY dude she just met 🤮🤮

Both jen & Brandon get an F in this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4000 gushy comments. Did anyone push back?

Nobody ever pushes back!!!

Well well well…so much to catch up on. What’s the latest on Jen’s love life?
So much jealousy, racism, misogyny just in the last few pages…is this what they teach in YOUR churches now? Oh I know…I’m no better than you. I’m lost. But I don’t question every motive of a sister. I don’t begrudge her for getting hers while she can. Supporting herself and her kids since her deadbeat ex isn’t. I don’t want to “bang” her ex while I mock HIS new Gf as trailer Barbie. Y’all all got some serious issues. And I know y’all are Christian bit ches. 99% of you. “Oh I’m not…I left the church a long time ago” STFU then. You left because of this same catty backbiting bullstuff, cliques and strategic alignments, fakeness that is surely going on here. I bet you “girlfriends” clean up real nice on Sunday and wouldn’t dare speak evil of someone in front of you. Or are you allowed to even have an opinion in church? Nope. Hypocrite is the word isn’t it ladies? Y’all are disgusting. And funny thing is…you know you are. 🤮

Hey Tyler serious question - did it bug you at all when Jen said you were “worthy of her”? Cause if a guy ever told me I was “worthy of him” I think all my girlfriends would agree to consider that a big red flag 😬

[Anonymous]

Hey Tyler - you should bookmark this for future reference:


https://www.quizony.com/am-i-dating-a-narcissist/index.html

[Anonymous]

I agree with Jen’s politics and her shift in faith to be the voice of the marginalized and downtrodden. It’s literally the message of Jesus so yay her for getting it right. I know it came at a cost so even more yay for her for planting her flag there. Great.

I’m not jealous or hating on her or her life. My issues stem from the shift from speaking up for women in faith and women living a Jesus life in the midst of marriage, parenting, culture, hardships etc to a voice speaking about literal nothingness except self promotion and vague but well written pronouncements about *gestures around* whatever.

She’s a talented writer. Instead of doing the laborious work of using that talent to say something of import and move the ball forward in any sort of substantive way, we get long fb posts about whatever struck her fancy that day. And 85% of her posts are me centered and using that talent to not so subtly line her pockets with very little actual work.

She’s become another influencer. She took a decent platform that she earned into a promo code barrage and saying very little of value.

It’s disappointing and transparent. That’s the issue for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with Jen’s politics and her shift in faith to be the voice of the marginalized and downtrodden. It’s literally the message of Jesus so yay her for getting it right. I know it came at a cost so even more yay for her for planting her flag there. Great.

I’m not jealous or hating on her or her life. My issues stem from the shift from speaking up for women in faith and women living a Jesus life in the midst of marriage, parenting, culture, hardships etc to a voice speaking about literal nothingness except self promotion and vague but well written pronouncements about *gestures around* whatever.

She’s a talented writer. Instead of doing the laborious work of using that talent to say something of import and move the ball forward in any sort of substantive way, we get long fb posts about whatever struck her fancy that day. And 85% of her posts are me centered and using that talent to not so subtly line her pockets with very little actual work.

She’s become another influencer. She took a decent platform that she earned into a promo code barrage and saying very little of value.

It’s disappointing and transparent. That’s the issue for me.

This is well put. Jen has talent and a voice but she's become just another influencer (JAI). She's operating in the same grifty, fake, cloying waters as Rachel Hollis. It's all about ME ME ME! and getting money from whatever might get her some money.

[Anonymous]

I feel like a lot of Christian authors do this. Annie Downs comes to mind. I used to like her but incessant Able pushing, etc. I think they’re in the same friend group with the Broadway gals from Wicked. It all feels too much to me, the outsider. Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This recent Jen Hatmaker/Kristen Howerton/Jamie Wright Ny Ex Is A Monster And I Was A Perfect Saint In My Marriage podcast is so bad that if they were still famous enough, if it went viral, would provoke a furious backlash.

Jen would have to take it down and post a bunch of apologetic word salad posts about how “she’s still hurting” and “wasn’t fair to ex husbands everywhere” and that “she’s still trying to find the tools of living through divorce”, etc.

Yep. I agree. Wonder why their husbands habitually cheated? I would never condone that behavior at all, but the reality is, something was broken in their respective marriages and both parties have some ownership. Maybe they don’t like sexy time, or aren’t freaky enough, or have hang-ups from their own brokenness. Instead, let’s drag the horrible ex across the coals. Very tacky and hurtful. They’re doing it to get back at their ex’s and not address their own problems.

Yikes—Hatmakers aside, this thinking is problematic and enables abusers. Great relationships take 2 people, but it only takes one person to ruin things. The actions of another aren’t the responsibility of the spouse who was wronged. This is the kind of thinking and teaching that was pervasive in the conservative evangelical communities I was raised in, but there was only grace for the husbands who strayed, were abusive, addicted, or detached. When women did these things, they were vilified—much like is what’s happening with much of the talk surrounding the Hatmakers.

If someone is reading this and in a bad situation or being treated in a way that lacks respect, dignity, or honesty — please know — it’s not you, it’s them! Holy yikes, this type of thinking is so toxic. To think that there are people out there giving men a pass for cheating because their wife wasn’t “freaky” enough. That’s sick and sad, especially because a cheater is going to cheat no matter how much you compromise your comfort, self respect, or personal boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with Jen’s politics and her shift in faith to be the voice of the marginalized and downtrodden. It’s literally the message of Jesus so yay her for getting it right. I know it came at a cost so even more yay for her for planting her flag there. Great.

I’m not jealous or hating on her or her life. My issues stem from the shift from speaking up for women in faith and women living a Jesus life in the midst of marriage, parenting, culture, hardships etc to a voice speaking about literal nothingness except self promotion and vague but well written pronouncements about *gestures around* whatever.

She’s a talented writer. Instead of doing the laborious work of using that talent to say something of import and move the ball forward in any sort of substantive way, we get long fb posts about whatever struck her fancy that day. And 85% of her posts are me centered and using that talent to not so subtly line her pockets with very little actual work.

She’s become another influencer. She took a decent platform that she earned into a promo code barrage and saying very little of value.

It’s disappointing and transparent. That’s the issue for me.

I agree with this—her shift in strategy has not been appealing to me. It does seem directly related to her divorce and like she’s needing to make additional income. She has a platform for what she’s doing and it seems to make sense for her current needs/wants. It’s not for me, but I’m not mad about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with Jen’s politics and her shift in faith to be the voice of the marginalized and downtrodden. It’s literally the message of Jesus so yay her for getting it right. I know it came at a cost so even more yay for her for planting her flag there. Great.

I’m not jealous or hating on her or her life. My issues stem from the shift from speaking up for women in faith and women living a Jesus life in the midst of marriage, parenting, culture, hardships etc to a voice speaking about literal nothingness except self promotion and vague but well written pronouncements about *gestures around* whatever.

She’s a talented writer. Instead of doing the laborious work of using that talent to say something of import and move the ball forward in any sort of substantive way, we get long fb posts about whatever struck her fancy that day. And 85% of her posts are me centered and using that talent to not so subtly line her pockets with very little actual work.

She’s become another influencer. She took a decent platform that she earned into a promo code barrage and saying very little of value.

It’s disappointing and transparent. That’s the issue for me.

This is well put. Jen has talent and a voice but she's become just another influencer (JAI). She's operating in the same grifty, fake, cloying waters as Rachel Hollis. It's all about ME ME ME! and getting money from whatever might get her some money.

This is how I feel, too, 100%. I've said it before, the only reason I'm here is because I genuinely liked Jen for a really long time - she had substantive things to say about faith in a way that was often ahead of her time. I'm here because the pivot has been so abrupt and confusing, and for whatever reason, I'm hoping that we eventually find out more of the behind-the-scenes stories about what brought this about.

The people who pop in and say everyone here is so hateful and jealous ... I don't see anyone saying that. Most people here seem to be here because they are confused about the pivot.

And as far as announcing the relationship to "get out ahead" of it being discovered - I call BS on this. The problem isn't the announcement itself, per se, it's that she announced it in the most dramatic, over the top way possible, with seemingly very little insights about treating romantic/family relationships with more privacy than she has up to now. A better way to do it: "Because I've been so open about sharing the breakdown of my marriage over the last 18 months, I felt like I should share with you that I have recently started dating someone I met this fall on my trip to NYC. This is a new relationship, my first since the end of my marriage. I would so appreciate if you would allow us the space and privacy to get to know each other at our own pace. Thank you for all the encouragement and well wishes."

BAM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:4000 gushy comments. Did anyone push back?

There’s a little pushing back on how she responded to Tyler’s comment on her post. She described him as “6’2” black types with dreads.” There were a few thoughtful comments pushing back on how problematic that description is. So far, they haven’t been deleted or directly responded to by Jen or Tyler.