Child Support -VA

[Anonymous]

Ex-husband moved overseas 10years ago. He comes to the states to visit his child maybe every 1.5 yrs. Prior to him leaving we verbally agreed on amount that was higher than what was in our divorce decree because he would be making a lot more money. He kept up with the payments and if he missed a month or two he who would always bring it back up to date. He stopped paying child support this summer. He was out of work for 2 months. But, started his new job in Oct with a raise. He is refusing to send money for our child.

I'm going to file for support with the courts ( VA).
Do the courts ask for bank statements? I don't have a problem with showing my pay stubs.. But, I have saved my money over the years and my ex has always been a spender so it may look like I have more money than he does when he actually makes about $75K more than I do. And the the first $100K of his money is not taxed.

[Anonymous]

Answer to your question: money saved does not affect child support.

Not in relation to your question, but something to consider:

Is he refusing to send money entirely? Since he's been overpaying for so long, I would honestly try and work something out with him to see how long he needs to build up his income since he lost his job. October wasn't *that* long ago, and I imagine two months of lost income could be hard to recover from. I would calculate the overpayment of child support to provide at least some time for him to begin paying again.

[Anonymous]

He is refusing to pay entirely now. I asked in December to start paying the child support in January which he agreeded to . But, I wanted the back child support for the months he missed as well. I didn't want it all at once. He could have paid it back over the course of a year if he wanted to. It's just the lack of not wanting to pay it gets to me. I'm thinking if you can stay at hotels with giraffes coming through the window surely you can pay the child support.

He can be very hard to talk to at times. And it will turn in to a argument of him wishing he had some of my retirement money (military) even though he has made more than double my income for years.

Thank you for the advice. I may try to speak to him again.

[Anonymous]

You are going to have a tough road here. How are you planning to even get him into court? VA courts don’t have jurisdiction over someone living overseas. Agree with PP - you should try to work something out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ex-husband moved overseas 10years ago. He comes to the states to visit his child maybe every 1.5 yrs. Prior to him leaving we verbally agreed on amount that was higher than what was in our divorce decree because he would be making a lot more money. He kept up with the payments and if he missed a month or two he who would always bring it back up to date. He stopped paying child support this summer. He was out of work for 2 months. But, started his new job in Oct with a raise. He is refusing to send money for our child.

I'm going to file for support with the courts ( VA).
Do the courts ask for bank statements? I don't have a problem with showing my pay stubs.. But, I have saved my money over the years and my ex has always been a spender so it may look like I have more money than he does when he actually makes about $75K more than I do. And the the first $100K of his money is not taxed.

You keep posting here. Talk to a lawyer. Yes, they will want your income, bank statements, tax returns, just like his. However, if he isn't in the country you will have a hard time doing this. Sounds like you have a really good income. You will spend a fortune fighting and getting this enforced. He only owes what is court ordered so your verbal agreement is not enforceable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is refusing to pay entirely now. I asked in December to start paying the child support in January which he agreeded to . But, I wanted the back child support for the months he missed as well. I didn't want it all at once. He could have paid it back over the course of a year if he wanted to. It's just the lack of not wanting to pay it gets to me. I'm thinking if you can stay at hotels with giraffes coming through the window surely you can pay the child support.

He can be very hard to talk to at times. And it will turn in to a argument of him wishing he had some of my retirement money (military) even though he has made more than double my income for years.

Thank you for the advice. I may try to speak to him again.

Actually, depending on the length of the marriage he's absolutely entitled to part of your military retirement depending on the divorce decree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Answer to your question: money saved does not affect child support.

Not in relation to your question, but something to consider:

Is he refusing to send money entirely? Since he's been overpaying for so long, I would honestly try and work something out with him to see how long he needs to build up his income since he lost his job. October wasn't *that* long ago, and I imagine two months of lost income could be hard to recover from. I would calculate the overpayment of child support to provide at least some time for him to begin paying again.

OP has a very high income between her military pension and current job. That is her concern and she wants to know how to hide her high income when she files so it will not be considered in the calculations.

[Anonymous]

How old is the child if he left 10 years ago

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is refusing to pay entirely now. I asked in December to start paying the child support in January which he agreeded to . But, I wanted the back child support for the months he missed as well. I didn't want it all at once. He could have paid it back over the course of a year if he wanted to. It's just the lack of not wanting to pay it gets to me. I'm thinking if you can stay at hotels with giraffes coming through the window surely you can pay the child support.

He can be very hard to talk to at times. And it will turn in to a argument of him wishing he had some of my retirement money (military) even though he has made more than double my income for years.

Thank you for the advice. I may try to speak to him again.

Actually, depending on the length of the marriage he's absolutely entitled to part of your military retirement depending on the divorce decree.

He waived his entitlement to my retirement during the during the divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is the child if he left 10 years ago

14

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Answer to your question: money saved does not affect child support.

Not in relation to your question, but something to consider:

Is he refusing to send money entirely? Since he's been overpaying for so long, I would honestly try and work something out with him to see how long he needs to build up his income since he lost his job. October wasn't *that* long ago, and I imagine two months of lost income could be hard to recover from. I would calculate the overpayment of child support to provide at least some time for him to begin paying again.

I don't want to share what's in my saving. I have no problem providing pay statements.
OP has a very high income between her military pension and current job. That is her concern and she wants to know how to hide her high income when she files so it will not be considered in the calculations.

[Anonymous]

You have a very high income, you have health insurance at a very low cost. By the time you fight it, you will spend more on attorney fees than you will get. You want the money out of the principal. You can fully support your child. Leave it alone and let the anger go for your and your child's sake. It will take a year to work through the courts and if its not a US company it will be hard to get a garnishment and if you do, he'll probably job jump again. If you had a toddler or young child, it might be worth it.

[Anonymous]

OP, what country did he move to?

In my experience, VA won't even pursue/file a claim if the parent lives in a country that doesn't have a child support agreement with the US. Even though there is no enforcement mechanism, it would at least increase the odds that child support gets paid if they filed. Nobody is going to pay child support if they aren't required to do so, and you aren't required to pay if there is no claim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what country did he move to?

In my experience, VA won't even pursue/file a claim if the parent lives in a country that doesn't have a child support agreement with the US. Even though there is no enforcement mechanism, it would at least increase the odds that child support gets paid if they filed. Nobody is going to pay child support if they aren't required to do so, and you aren't required to pay if there is no claim.

Many voluntarily pay child support, however, in this situation the court only can do so much. She's also demanding money via a verbal agreement that is not enforceable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what country did he move to?

In my experience, VA won't even pursue/file a claim if the parent lives in a country that doesn't have a child support agreement with the US. Even though there is no enforcement mechanism, it would at least increase the odds that child support gets paid if they filed. Nobody is going to pay child support if they aren't required to do so, and you aren't required to pay if there is no claim.

Military installation. He is a Department of Defense contractor.