People who’ve married 3 or more times, could you explain why?

[Anonymous]

I am really not being snarky, I am genuinely curious about the thought process behind it. I am not saying it’s a bad thing but it is foreign to me. My parents are probably not in love and have slept in separate rooms for many years, but they’ve been married for 30 years.

[Anonymous]

My mother has. She's done it because ... she wants to. I haven't talked to her in over a decade, but my guess is she feels more "legit" in her circles as a married woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother has. She's done it because ... she wants to. I haven't talked to her in over a decade, but my guess is she feels more "legit" in her circles as a married woman.

Wait, are you by sibling? I think we have the same mom.

[Anonymous]

My best friend is on her third marriage. Sometimes things just happen.

She got married the first time at 17, after HS graduation, because that's what people did when they were in love where she grew up. What most didn't do is go to college, but both she and her husband went, and figured out along the way that they were wrong for each other. Divorced after 3 years, no kids.

She then got married to a very nice doctor, 10 years older and establishing himself after finishing up the residency. Everything seemed perfect. A few years later, red flags started appearing, by the time they divorced, he was in a full blown mental health crisis. He hasn't worked since.

The third time was the charm. She married a normal guy and they've been married for over 15 years. Seriously, there is nothing wrong with her, just extremely bad luck with the second marriage.

[Anonymous]

I have a good friend who married in their 20s and got divorced after a few years. Waited a while and married again and stayed married for almost 20 years til spouse died of cancer. Waited a while and now has been married for 10 years.

[Anonymous]

The person that introduced my parents, my mothers cousin, married 6 times. She had 5 children with #2 & #3. Number six for her was the charm married over 40 years. Her children do not speak to her.

[Anonymous]

My MIL is on her 3rd. Her 3rd has been the most successful. I think it’s been 30+ years. DH told me her 1st marriage to his dad ended after she had an affair. Apparently my FIL had some undiagnosed mental health issues (per MIL) but he died before I really got to know him well. There are always 2 sides but I tend to find it hard to forgive cheating when she could have simply asked for a divorce to begin with. I never knew her 2nd husband because DH was in middle school. It sounds like it was very short-lived and he has no idea why that ended. Everyone agrees marriage #3 was for companionship. He’s a nice guy and they have similar interests but it works and I’m happy they found each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The person that introduced my parents, my mothers cousin, married 6 times. She had 5 children with #2 & #3. Number six for her was the charm married over 40 years. Her children do not speak to her.

Can you give a rough timeline for each marriage? I'm having trouble imagining how you could have 5 failed marriages and 5 children and still have enough time to be married again for an additional 40 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The person that introduced my parents, my mothers cousin, married 6 times. She had 5 children with #2 & #3. Number six for her was the charm married over 40 years. Her children do not speak to her.

Was there abuse?

[Anonymous]

I know one who cheated on his first wife and she divorced him. He married woman he cgeated with.Then second wife cheated and left him. His third marriage is going well: 2 sets of kids, 2 with second wife and 1 with 3rd wife. All the wives were his age or a couple of years older.



He is actually a nice person, great dad. But he has demons from his own parent's nasty divorce. He went to serious therapy before 3rd marriage.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend that realistically will prob be married 3x

First was her college sweetheart. Married from 25-30yo when he changed his mind about wanting kids.

Married the 2nd at 33 and they're 39 now and he has a terminal disease.

Shes so loving and kind I doubt she will want to be alone the rest of her life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best friend is on her third marriage. Sometimes things just happen.

She got married the first time at 17, after HS graduation, because that's what people did when they were in love where she grew up. What most didn't do is go to college, but both she and her husband went, and figured out along the way that they were wrong for each other. Divorced after 3 years, no kids.

She then got married to a very nice doctor, 10 years older and establishing himself after finishing up the residency. Everything seemed perfect. A few years later, red flags started appearing, by the time they divorced, he was in a full blown mental health crisis. He hasn't worked since.

The third time was the charm. She married a normal guy and they've been married for over 15 years. Seriously, there is nothing wrong with her, just extremely bad luck with the second marriage.

Nah, your friend definitely has some “stuff” going on that make her flakier than most. Maybe being with the right guy will be a good fit and she’ll make it work this time. But people don’t just marry at 17 because that’s what people did. And people don’t just marry recent medical residents 10 years older than them (so she would have been early mid 20s still) - where doctors are already a notorious group of narcissists often with mental health issues, who are known to be difficult to be with even in the best of times. Sorry, but your friend clearly was willing to overlook red flags both times in order to get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My first marriage lasted less than a year, no kids. We were very young and stupid and thankfully both realized it wasn’t going to work.

Second marriage lasted 18 years and we had kids, but divorced after DH’s affair came to light.

Will I marry again? Maybe…..I’m older now and it just might not be in the cards for me. But I still believe in marriage and the thought of being alone is painful.

You can be unmarried and not alone. What an odd post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend is on her third marriage. Sometimes things just happen.

She got married the first time at 17, after HS graduation, because that's what people did when they were in love where she grew up. What most didn't do is go to college, but both she and her husband went, and figured out along the way that they were wrong for each other. Divorced after 3 years, no kids.

She then got married to a very nice doctor, 10 years older and establishing himself after finishing up the residency. Everything seemed perfect. A few years later, red flags started appearing, by the time they divorced, he was in a full blown mental health crisis. He hasn't worked since.

The third time was the charm. She married a normal guy and they've been married for over 15 years. Seriously, there is nothing wrong with her, just extremely bad luck with the second marriage.

Nah, your friend definitely has some “stuff” going on that make her flakier than most. Maybe being with the right guy will be a good fit and she’ll make it work this time. But people don’t just marry at 17 because that’s what people did. And people don’t just marry recent medical residents 10 years older than them (so she would have been early mid 20s still) - where doctors are already a notorious group of narcissists often with mental health issues, who are known to be difficult to be with even in the best of times. Sorry, but your friend clearly was willing to overlook red flags both times in order to get married.

Who sees or knows what red flags are at 17? Go chew rocks.

[Anonymous]

Sure.

I married a boyfriend when I was in my early twenties on a whim. Literally one evening he said “let’s get married” and the next day we were wed. Our relationship didn’t really change, we didn’t tell everyone, we didn’t have a wedding/party. We broke up within the year and got divorced, it was friendly and easy.

I had a proper engagement/wedding in my late twenties. Fully intended to be married forever - obviously - but husband became increasingly abusive and cheated, which was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

After five or so years post-divorce I met a great guy, dated, got engaged and got married. He’s the love of my life. It all worked out!