Is age gap too much?

[Anonymous]

41 year old divorcee with elementary aged kid. I hope to remarry one day. Recently met a wonderful man who’s 53. We’ve been dating for several months and it’s been wonderful. He would ideally like our relationship to lead to marriage. My one hesitancy with respect to him is our age gap. I normally date men who are significantly younger. I feel like maybe there are some age related issues that could pop up later. I love to have a partner near my age and we spend the next 30-40 years together. The guy I’m seeing is in very good health, but for some reason the age difference still bothers me. Is this a big deal? Finding a great catch is hard these days and he is a good man.

[Anonymous]

I was happily dating a woman who was 15 years younger. For some reason (probably age) she broke up. Now I'm happily dating a woman 30 years younger. OP--if you don't want him, someone else will.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would be concerned for the long term.

Think about when you are 65 just ready to retire. He will be 77. When he is ready to retire at 65 you will be 53. Will you retire with him?

Then think about having sex with a 62 yr old when you are 50.

DH is six years older than me. That's as far as I would go. Luckily we can retire together and travel.

[Anonymous]

Studies show no greater than a 9 year age difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was happily dating a woman who was 15 years younger. For some reason (probably age) she broke up. Now I'm happily dating a woman 30 years younger. OP--if you don't want him, someone else will.

She'll break up with you too at some point. She won't want to have sex with a 70 yr old man when she's 40. That's gross.

[Anonymous]

Women over 30 especially with kids are attractive to those 50+. Men in their 30s and 40s mate with women in their 20s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I would be concerned for the long term.

Think about when you are 65 just ready to retire. He will be 77. When he is ready to retire at 65 you will be 53. Will you retire with him?

Then think about having sex with a 62 yr old when you are 50.

DH is six years older than me. That's as far as I would go. Luckily we can retire together and travel.

Wow you are ridiculous. 41 and 53 isn’t a significant gap honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women over 30 especially with kids are attractive to those 50+. Men in their 30s and 40s mate with women in their 20s

I can't think of one single example of a man in his 40s dating women in his 20s in my social circle of well-educated high-income men. The only place I hear about this, actually, is DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women over 30 especially with kids are attractive to those 50+. Men in their 30s and 40s mate with women in their 20s

I would be cautious that he's not interested in an "insta family." Then he might have a difficult time adjusting to life with elementary school aged kids. And do your kids want a step dad old enough to be their grandfather? Not very much fun.

If the man is 53 and doesn't have a family, it's because, honestly, that's not the lifestyle he wanted or probably wants. Think about it. If he didn't want to be a dad in his 20s, 30s, 40s, why would he want to be a dad now?

[Anonymous]

Does he have kids. If so, what are their ages? I wouldn't want to play step grandma in my 40s. I think if he's very fit and attractive and doesn't have kids, then go for it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women over 30 especially with kids are attractive to those 50+. Men in their 30s and 40s mate with women in their 20s

I would be cautious that he's not interested in an "insta family." Then he might have a difficult time adjusting to life with elementary school aged kids. And do your kids want a step dad old enough to be their grandfather? Not very much fun.

If the man is 53 and doesn't have a family, it's because, honestly, that's not the lifestyle he wanted or probably wants. Think about it. If he didn't want to be a dad in his 20s, 30s, 40s, why would he want to be a dad now?

I wouldn't go that far. 53 is not that old for a dad of an elementary school student. I wouldn't bat an eye. Plenty of people had kids in their 40s at our school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women over 30 especially with kids are attractive to those 50+. Men in their 30s and 40s mate with women in their 20s

Huh? A guy over 50 has his own kids, the last thing he wants to do is saddle himself with someone else's kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women over 30 especially with kids are attractive to those 50+. Men in their 30s and 40s mate with women in their 20s

I would be cautious that he's not interested in an "insta family." Then he might have a difficult time adjusting to life with elementary school aged kids. And do your kids want a step dad old enough to be their grandfather? Not very much fun.

If the man is 53 and doesn't have a family, it's because, honestly, that's not the lifestyle he wanted or probably wants. Think about it. If he didn't want to be a dad in his 20s, 30s, 40s, why would he want to be a dad now?

I wouldn't go that far. 53 is not that old for a dad of an elementary school student. I wouldn't bat an eye. Plenty of people had kids in their 40s at our school.

Nice to hear, because I'm 58 and my DD is in 6th grade. =D

[Anonymous]

Really you have to judge this based on the individual man. Does he look old, and have an unhealthy lifestyle? Then nope. If he takes care of himself, then that's another issue entirely.

Almost 40 years ago, a friend of mine married a man 20 years older than her. They had two kids when he was in his 50s. He's now in his 80s and still going strong. So it all depends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women over 30 especially with kids are attractive to those 50+. Men in their 30s and 40s mate with women in their 20s

I can't think of one single example of a man in his 40s dating women in his 20s in my social circle of well-educated high-income men. The only place I hear about this, actually, is DCUM.

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