Explain to me the financial risk of SAH if partner is a high earner

[Anonymous]

Assume the following:
Two people have been together for 10+ years and have small kids
Parent wanting to SAH has a professional degree, but earnings likely would never exceed 150K
Working parent has a stable job (think equity partner at law firm) earning 2M+ annually

What is the financial risk of SAH? If they divorce the SAHP will get at least some alimony and half their shared assets earned during the marriage, which would be significant.

I understand the many reasons working is still worthwhile, but it doesn’t seem to me there’s a big financial risk, unless I’m missing something?

[Anonymous]

I’m your case, I don’t think working would be worthwhile. Why? You’ll pay so much in taxes. You don’t need the money. Stay home with your kids. If you divorce, you will get ample child support.

[Anonymous]

I was a SAHM and was plunged into poverty immediately upon separation. Didn’t get retirement, didn’t get alimony, nothing. Don’t be me. Nothing is guaranteed.

[Anonymous]

Would have been if Social Security wasn't about to be gutted.

OP take it from me do not do this. Find your own path anything you are interested in making it yours. When your children grow up you need something for you, you just do.


We are extremely high-income. I would never recommend a stay-at-home mother never.

By the way you are not guaranteed half of anything except maybe California.

[Anonymous]

Alimony is not really a thing. You would get child support.

Risk is you put career on hold and can't ever get it back. If you get a divorce you get 1/2, then child support, then the kids turn 18 and no more monthly payments. You have to support yourself and 10-15 years later, that 1/2 is gone bc you bought a house with it. You have little earning power.

Prob not that huge of a risk if you aren't on the brink of divorce, TBH.

[Anonymous]

Working would be bad as you would expect to work after divorce

[Anonymous]

My husband makes nowhere near that but I SAH for 6 years before I had to get out of the house. For one, my husband was gone 12 hours a day including commute so being the one one "on" for such a long period of time got old quickly and two, I got super bored with singing ABCs and wiping butts. I felt like my IQ dropped by 20 pts. Maybe not an issue at that level of NW and you have a nanny to help give you a break though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a SAHM and was plunged into poverty immediately upon separation. Didn’t get retirement, didn’t get alimony, nothing. Don’t be me. Nothing is guaranteed.

Did your ex make $2m a year? Did you and ex have ample Savings?

[Anonymous]

I’m only comfortable with it because of our NW, not the annual earning amount. If you’re spending what your DH is making, your situation is quite risky. If you’re aggressively growing NW with smart investments, you can have comfort knowing you’ll walk away with a nest egg. That’s one of my primary tasks now that I’m not working actually: managing investments.

[Anonymous]

Get a post-nuptial agreement before you stay home.

[Anonymous]

The main risk is to the SAH spouse in the case of divorce, so just set yourself up to not have that problem as best you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a post-nuptial agreement before you stay home.

This

[Anonymous]

Wow. OP, you are making a lot of assumptions. You are not guaranteed alimony, nor are you guaranteed child support. Why are you assuming that you would get the kids and he would just pay you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a SAHM and was plunged into poverty immediately upon separation. Didn’t get retirement, didn’t get alimony, nothing. Don’t be me. Nothing is guaranteed.

Did your ex make $2m a year? Did you and ex have ample Savings?

DP but these high earning roles are often highly burnout prone. I don’t assume AT ALL my husband will earn it forever. And I wouldn’t be surprised if the stress of a divorced put an end to it quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. OP, you are making a lot of assumptions. You are not guaranteed alimony, nor are you guaranteed child support. Why are you assuming that you would get the kids and he would just pay you? [/quote

To be fair 99% of the time a working parent earning that much definitely pays alimony and child support. Assuming the SAHP is a woman (sorry, but true).