When you’ve reached the end of the road
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Anonymous
| Anyone been there? It feels like infertility is an endless road, but I’ve now got one cycle left and we’re out of money. I’ve known the time is coming and been trying to process but don’t know how. Harder still because I’ll never know if it’s a problem more money could solve. The idea that I’ll never have the family I envisioned, I don’t know how to move past that regret and disappointment. |
Anonymous
|
Hugs, OP, and realize that hope springs eternal. We reached this point and immediately pivoted to donor eggs and adoption. We never looked back. DD is now 13, and DS is 10. We couldn't be happier! Adoptions Together and Fertility Argentina: https://www.fertilityargentina.com/.
Hope this helps somehow! |
Anonymous
Thanks. We’ve talked about IVF and adoption but money is the issue here. |
Anonymous
|
I know the pain and loneliness of infertility and the fear that you’ll never have a family of your own. It’s devastating. Fertility treatments are such a roller coaster. You feel hopeless, and yet, there must have been a kernel of hope because another failed cycle plunges you still further into despair.
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. It’s not fair. I hope that 2023 holds a pleasant surprise for you. |
Anonymous
| Wishing you the best of luck with your last cycle. From someone who has been down that road. |
Anonymous
| OP, money was an issue for us as well. Shady Grove Fertility offers a money back program for donor eggs. You get six cycles to try to get pregnant. After failing at IVF, we turned to using donor eggs and I finally got (and stayed) pregnant. I read on this forum that using donor eggs was like hitting the adoption lottery. More than that, I got to experience pregnancy, breastfeeding, and all the other things I had hoped for. I do not think for one second that this baby is anything other than mine. Not sure if this will help you, but I hope it does. More than that, I hope you find some peace, OP. This journey is so devastating and uniquely isolating. |
Anonymous
| We hit that point. And stopped. For us, the issue wasn't money. It was timing. We have a big international move coming up this year and couldn't do IVF and do the job move. It sucks and I was down for a really long time. I don't really have any advice except to try therapy if you can afford it. But mostly just feel all the feels and give yourself time. You will cry at least once a month for awhile. And then pick yourself up with the support of your partner and do something you couldn't do if you were pregnant or had a kid. It's a poor substitute, but one step at a time. |
Anonymous
Sorry, OP. I was in your shoes. No insurance coverage; 100% OOP. Spending endless money on IVF cycles was not the bank accounts we were dealt in life. Difficult (mathematical odds) decisions needed to be made and we pivoted to DE for the better chance at a live birth. If that is still too rich for your blood, look into embryo donation/adoption. Families are made in all kinds of ways. It might not be how I envisioned it, BUT I can tell you they were “mine” as soon as they were transferred into my uterus and I loved them ever since. Best of luck figuring out what is next—whether that is your last cycle, closure with having done everything you could to have a family or whatever. Seek counseling to help move forward, if needed. |
Anonymous
| We accepted it wasn't going to happen for us, and decided we did not want to adopt for many different reasons. Since 2020 I've been happy with this decision. |