A pre-eclampsia vent

[Anonymous]

I’m in my third tri, and my bp and labs have started to creep up. I’m grateful that I’m being monitored, grateful that they’ve caught it, grateful that I’m already past the point of a micropremie, grateful I live in DC with all its mfms, optimistic that baby and I will both make it through alive (and this is a pregnancy after a term stillbirth so I know that’s not a given) but… I’m really dreading the fear that baby or I will get really sick or worse before the birth.

Any advice on how to psychologically get through is helpful! So is any advice on how to stay asleep at night and not worry that I’m feeling decreased movement or a bad headache or upper right quadrant pain or any of the multitude of bad things that can happen.

[Anonymous]

What week are you in? I had GD and Pre-eclampsia and it was rough.

[Anonymous]

First of all, a million hugs, it’s so hard and everyone around you just says “oh don’t worry!” which is not actually possible…

First, celebrate every day you’re pregnant as a win. When you ultimately wake up in the morning (even if you were awake from 2-5) give yourself a psychological high five— your baby is one day bigger.

What helped me with the insomnia fear was creating a ritual for every wake up. Mine was pre, drink a glass of water, use my Doppler (people vary in their opinions but honestly mine saved my sanity) do a kick count, and then wake up my husband to watch a brief comedy sketch (7min) which inevitably put me back to sleep. My OB also recommended the calm app as part of the ritual, and her advice which I will never forget was that it’s not paranoia and the mothers who aren’t anxious at a time like this all got eaten by tigers in the Stone Age, so we who made it this far have all the anxiety genes which allow us and our children to survive.

Please update us OP— I’ll be thinking of you.

[Anonymous]

No point in telling yourself not to worry--you know the risks all too well--so maybe give yourself permission to worry? This may sound ridiculous, but try scheduling a time during the day as dedicated "worry" time. Give yourself 10-15 minutes to really worry, then maybe you won't worry so much in the middle of the night.

[Anonymous]

Oh friend, sorry you’re going through this. I think it probably really depends on what you personally find helpfully to relieve anxiety. I find it really helpful to say things out loud, like what you’ve done here. “My health and my baby’s health is being monitored closely.” “I live in an area with excellent doctors.” It sounds sooooo cheesy but it genuinely helps me to say this aloud.
If logic helps you could go that route. The real risk of pre e is them not catching it or taking it seriously. The medical system is very good at managing pre e safely if they do that - and in your case they are! There are plenty of horror stories about pre e but most are because the medical folks don’t take it seriously.
Good luck! It sucks but it’s so common. I had severe pre e with both of mine and the first time I was absolutely terrified

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks everyone! I’m 33 weeks, which in the grand scheme of things is pretty great, especially since it’s just mild right now. So hopefully I can get a few more weeks before either of us gets truly ill.

And last night I slept! I don’t know if it was the pity party I threw for myself yesterday, the fact that I was tired, or the fact that I just kept thinking about how I’m getting my labs redrawn soon, I know the symptoms of severe pree and can monitor myself, etc. but I will take it!

Fingers crossed we can get another couple of weeks of healthy growth before baby’s delivered!

[Anonymous]

I don’t know about the preeclampsia side but if you’re really struggling with night anxiety and sleep you can take some unisom. Even just knowing you have that as an escape valve if the insomnia gets bad really helped me at a time when I was previously struggling. Try just a tiny bit, like 1/4 tab.

Also just try to remember, this hell will end soon. You won’t be pregnant forever. You will get through this. Best wishes.

[Anonymous]

Btdt. My advice, have a scheduled C. A mom with bp problems doesn’t need to go thru labor.

[Anonymous]

Honestly OP? Don't wish more more weeks. You want to deliver as soon as they will let you. A live baby is better than full term. I would not hesitate to communicate that to my team. I also would not ignore the symptoms you describe.

[Anonymous]

Maybe try taking some time for meditation (I like guided ones)? Are you checking your BPs regularly? Keep an eye on them and sending lots of positive thoughts your way!

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. I’m a pre-e veteran, so I’m taking my bps twice a day, and haven’t had symptoms yet (but I’m really good at imagining that things *could* be pre-e symptoms!).

So far, the plan is just to keep monitoring everything closely over the next few weeks and deliver no later than a month early. Let’s see if we make it that far!

Thanks for all your encouragement. I knew this would likely happen and had steeled myself for it, but it is still worse when you’re actually starting to face it.

[Anonymous]

I had HELLP with my first and GD with my second (now pregnant with third and expecting I’ll have something with this pregnancy). Definitely demand weekly monitoring, take all medicine as prescribed, exercise and eat as healthy as possible, and seek out whatever will help you psychologically- outsourcing things if feasible, therapy, prenatal yoga, girls nights with friends, putting less pressure on yourself at work, etc.

[Anonymous]

Hugs, OP. I had several complicated pregnancies and 33 weekers and you are correct that they almost all do great by that point. Is there talk of admitting you for extra monitoring? I spent several weeks on hospital bedrest (for a different issue) and it gave me great peace of mind to know that every precaution was being taken. Though if your team doesn’t think that is needed, then that is a good sign.

[Anonymous]

For the anxiety/insomnia, I would speak to a therapist for relaxation techniques. Even if you both come through fine physically you can still acquire emotional bruises.

For the insomnia, quit all caffeine. Quitting coffee made a huge difference in how long it takes me to fall asleep. I also did benadryl.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t had a stillborn baby, but I lost my first as an infant (not related, but I did develop pre-e during labor so I was scared to get it with #2). Every time I woke up (morning or middle of the night) I would drink some water and lay around for awhile and monitor movements. I wouldn’t start the day until I was satisfied baby was feeling normal. I had the luxury of wasting a lot of time doing this and it got me through. I used the count the kicks app pretty regularly too. I was always counting down until the next monitoring appointment. I also used simple mantras similar to what you’ve said to help myself in particularly anxious moments. I also saw a therapist. Honestly I was a total mess at the end. I know it’s not the case for everyone, but things greatly improved for me after the baby was on the outside. Big hugs and good vibes to you as you navigate this last stretch!