Single men and red flag

[Anonymous]

At what age is it a red flag that a man has never been married? I used to think I wanted to only date men who had never been married. I'm 29 so that's very reasonable. However, the few men I've gone on dates in their late mid to late thirties who have never been married seem to have commitment issues/Peter Pan syndrome. So it made realize at some point it's probably a red flag a man has never been married. Maybe early forties? Or earlier than that? Or in your opinion, is there never an age it's weird a man hasn't married.

[Anonymous]

I'd be more worried about the guys that have been married and then divorced by then. I think those who didn't marry have standards and boundaries they want to hold (on both the male and female side) and a lot of learnings to bring to their next marriage (if they have accountability and self reflection).

I'm on the other end of this where I'm 20ish years into an emotionally abusive relationship but didn't realize it until a lot of therapy and other events gave me perspective. Neither of us were married previously (early 20s started dating).....and we ended up with the [dysfunctional] relationships of our parents. Good times unraveling that stuff...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At what age is it a red flag that a man has never been married? I used to think I wanted to only date men who had never been married. I'm 29 so that's very reasonable. However, the few men I've gone on dates in their late mid to late thirties who have never been married seem to have commitment issues/Peter Pan syndrome. So it made realize at some point it's probably a red flag a man has never been married. Maybe early forties? Or earlier than that? Or in your opinion, is there never an age it's weird a man hasn't married.

You’re twenty nine. You should be targeting guys who are 27 to 32. You definitely should not be wasting time on the late thirties guys at your age. I recommend you not date older than 34.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age is it a red flag that a man has never been married? I used to think I wanted to only date men who had never been married. I'm 29 so that's very reasonable. However, the few men I've gone on dates in their late mid to late thirties who have never been married seem to have commitment issues/Peter Pan syndrome. So it made realize at some point it's probably a red flag a man has never been married. Maybe early forties? Or earlier than that? Or in your opinion, is there never an age it's weird a man hasn't married.

You’re twenty nine. You should be targeting guys who are 27 to 32. You definitely should not be wasting time on the late thirties guys at your age. I recommend you not date older than 34.

This depends. I'm 28 and I have kids. I like guys who are 26 to 30 but I've noticed that most of them don't have kids so I think I need to go older. Np here

[Anonymous]

When is it a red flag for a man to have not been divorced?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age is it a red flag that a man has never been married? I used to think I wanted to only date men who had never been married. I'm 29 so that's very reasonable. However, the few men I've gone on dates in their late mid to late thirties who have never been married seem to have commitment issues/Peter Pan syndrome. So it made realize at some point it's probably a red flag a man has never been married. Maybe early forties? Or earlier than that? Or in your opinion, is there never an age it's weird a man hasn't married.

You’re twenty nine. You should be targeting guys who are 27 to 32. You definitely should not be wasting time on the late thirties guys at your age. I recommend you not date older than 34.

This!!

[Anonymous]

Who died and left you all to decide at what age is it a red flag that a man has never been married?

[Anonymous]

30 for long term relationships and 40 for marriage

[Anonymous]

If you are 29 and want to have a family, better focus on 30-40 who are settled in their career and emotionally, financially and logistically ready for a family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age is it a red flag that a man has never been married? I used to think I wanted to only date men who had never been married. I'm 29 so that's very reasonable. However, the few men I've gone on dates in their late mid to late thirties who have never been married seem to have commitment issues/Peter Pan syndrome. So it made realize at some point it's probably a red flag a man has never been married. Maybe early forties? Or earlier than that? Or in your opinion, is there never an age it's weird a man hasn't married.

You’re twenty nine. You should be targeting guys who are 27 to 32. You definitely should not be wasting time on the late thirties guys at your age. I recommend you not date older than 34.

27-32 is a very narrow and impractical window.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who died and left you all to decide at what age is it a red flag that a man has never been married?

The OP, obviously. She asked.

[Anonymous]

There isn't one age. You just need to get to know the person and find out who he is and why he is single. Maybe it was circumstantial - he worked a lot or traveled and it was hard to meet people. Maybe he had long term relationships with commitment-phobes (my story). Or maybe he never grew up and never will and his singleness is a big red flag. It just depends on so much.

Also I disagree with the posters who suggest very narrow dating age limits. You could miss out on someone really great by imposing an arbitrary age limit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At what age is it a red flag that a man has never been married? I used to think I wanted to only date men who had never been married. I'm 29 so that's very reasonable. However, the few men I've gone on dates in their late mid to late thirties who have never been married seem to have commitment issues/Peter Pan syndrome. So it made realize at some point it's probably a red flag a man has never been married. Maybe early forties? Or earlier than that? Or in your opinion, is there never an age it's weird a man hasn't married.

I think it is better that a man is hesitant than to jump into an early marriage that ends badly. I love DH, but his first marriage was very young (22) and nearly all of our issues rooted in him rather than me, albeit they are few, come from his ideas about marriage as a twenty-something vs. people in our 50s. He’s my second husband and worlds better than my first (I married at 29). In some ways, it is easier dealing with men who are set in their ways after decades of single adulthood. At least you know what you are getting. Our issues rooted in me are half that I’m set in my ways. DH has that age 22-25 and on the military mindset that we can just pickup and move our lives someplace else if one of us wants to. I’m the one who doesn’t want to. He moved a lot after his divorce both when he was still in the military and afterwards. In fact, his last big move was to be close to me so I feel bad. But I digress.