13 year old with phobia of dogs

[Anonymous]

My 13 year old is intensely terrified of dogs, especially if they are unleashed. I was thinking she would outgrow it but she’s 13 now and it seems like it’s just worse than ever. She will literally run away when she sees a dog on the street and she won’t enter a friends home if they have a dog. Not sure where this fear came from because the rest of our family is fine with dogs and it’s not like a dog never bit her before.

Does anyone have a therapist recommendation in the Moco or Hoco area? I hear cbt/ exposure therapy is the way to get over this.

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to say good luck. I’m an older adult and have not gotten over my fear but I have learned to manage it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wanted to say good luck. I’m an older adult and have not gotten over my fear but I have learned to manage it.

Thanks. I’m trying to stop this from becoming a lifelong problem. What helped you to manage your fear of dogs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wanted to say good luck. I’m an older adult and have not gotten over my fear but I have learned to manage it.

Thanks. I’m trying to stop this from becoming a lifelong problem. What helped you to manage your fear of dogs?

I have had dogs almost my entire life. I still have dog phobia based on my and others personal exerience. It is not all dogs but rather breed specific. Frankly it is better for the child to exercise caution with some. You might not know 100% of what the person experienced or heard from friends.

If you know anyone with a great dog who by nature can differentiate behavior with children, ask to expose the child. That happened to us with strangers while walking our most recent dog. That dog wanted to cross the street and walk on the other side if certin other dogs were approaching with owners on the same side of the sidewalk.

[Anonymous]

I didn't grow up with animals and our neighbors had some pretty mean and scary dogs. I was scared of them. As an adult we just got a puppy. I wouldn't do a rescue because I was scared of dogs but the puppy was pretty harmless and I got used to her. But, I am still not comfortable around many dogs but many are also not trained well or friendly from what I've seen. Don't force her to like dogs and respect her feelings.

[Anonymous]

I would ask in your neighborhood for help with older calm dogs who would be easier for her to be around. Make a chart of things you feel she could do to slowly expose herself to them. First, just being in a room with one for 2 minutes, while they are leashed. Then give her a sticker when she completes it (no, 13 year olds aren't too old for stickers!). Then maybe 5 then 10 minutes. Then ask her to sit near one. Then ask her to touch one on the back; and so on. Very small steps. And I would absolutely work on this, don't just let her stay out of houses with dogs for the rest of her life, it's unrealistic and unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

Puppies nip and have sharp teeth, I would definitely do the above with an older calm dog.

[Anonymous]

I have had dogs for many decades, but I fear certain breeds.

[Anonymous]

My oldest was terrified of dogs for a really long time. The only thing that cured her of it is when we got our own dog when she was 12. We got a golden retriever puppy, so when it was young, it was little and cute. Now that it’s older, it’s large and gentle.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if a dog certified for therapy could help you. I don’t mean a dog that someone got certified for for emotional support so they can take it on a plane, but a dog that is certified to provide pet therapy at children’s hospitals, senior centers, etc. My friend had a dog that was certified to visit kids in the hospital and he went through a lot of training so that he was calm and did not react to sudden movements/loud noises/clumsy kids.

Try googling “therapy dog certification” to see if there is a local facility who could give you a contact. These people are super into their dogs and they might see this as a beneficial training opportunity as well.

[Anonymous]

Rebecca Resnik Associates deal with phobias in kids and teens, medical phobias, animal etc.

I can vouch for the quality of the therapists because we used them, but not for phobias.

https://www.resnikpsychology.com

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My oldest was terrified of dogs for a really long time. The only thing that cured her of it is when we got our own dog when she was 12. We got a golden retriever puppy, so when it was young, it was little and cute. Now that it’s older, it’s large and gentle.

Glad this worked out for you, but I wouldn't recommend it as a strategy. This could have ended with a neglected pet and a resentful daughter.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would start with a therapist and go from there. This is really hindering her, and at 13, it is not a phase. It’s good you are trying to help with this instead of waiting to see.

This was posted in an old thread on dog phobias

This is a good book: http://www.amazon.com/May-Pet-Your-Dog-How/dp/0618510346 You could read it together and then practice. It promotes safety, which is the key to feeling secure.

You might want to introduce him to a dog that is specially trained to be calm and well behaved. People Animals Love has a dog visiting program that includes several libraries: http://www.peopleanimalslove.org/our_programs.php#petvisiting

Hero Dogs, a group that trains and places service dogs with veterans, also has many public events and appearances. These dogs are incredible. They're visiting the Gaithersburg Library in July: https://www.z2systems.com/np/clients/herodogs/eventList.jsp

[Anonymous]

Some therapists have therapy dogs!

I would keep your eye out for a calm dog. Look for one who sits nice or lays down when it wants attention, ask that neighbor if they might be interested in meeting up a little.

Talk to DD about how neutral is the goal, not loving dogs, that's up to her. She may never like them. But explain how being able to be around trained dogs can be an important life skill. Tolerating someone's untrained dog is not necessary IMO. But if a friend has a service dog, etc.

Talk about how having a fear takes work and energy for our brain, and stresses our nervous system even when we think about the future. Neutral means some space. Some space where she can decide is the particular dog going to be a worthy experience or not, and without the fear she'll be able to think better and make better choices.

Talk about how a fear can grow even if we're not trying, how if she works with the fear a little now to help teach it some info, then you can help too.

[Anonymous]

I was like this up until college, when I had a few good friends who had dogs. All it took for me was constant exposure, and I'm now a huge dog lover with a dog of my own. Not saying you should get a dog yourself, but I think these things tend to work themselves out as kids grow up.