Child rages

[Anonymous]

Any advice for how to help a 7 year-old who has rages? Or any books or resources that helped you? I'm going through the onerous process of finding a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Following. Mine is 5 but I keep waiting for the rages to stop and worried it won't.

[Anonymous]

We have a 7yo doing much the same. Waiting to see ped. Have you seen school counselor yet?

[Anonymous]

Are they able to calm down on their own? Will they let you help? Are they physically aggressive? Asking as we have been navigating this as well. Sometimes they let me help guide breathing if they can identify that it’s anxiety (not the word they use). We’ve been practicing a visually guided box breathing.

The Explosive Child has been helpful. Mostly in helping us understand we’re not alone.

[Anonymous]

Could be ASD.

[Anonymous]

7 is old enough to have a conversation about emotional control. When my kid loses it I say something like- it looks to me that you are having a problem controlling you emotions. Let's talk when you calm down. Then wait it out. Then we have a conversation about how we control our brains which control out emotions. It's not always easy and we can still physically feel our emotions even when we can control the outward expression. We go into all sorts of detail about this. I've had these conversations with my kids since they were 3. Now my 7 yo makes comments when she's upset that make her teachers or other parents take notice about how self aware she is. Sometimes she still loses it, but a soft gentle reminder usually helps her back on track.

Her last tantrum made me chuckle a bit - she was rolling around on the floor screaming "why did I make such a bad choice... I wish I could go back it time to change my mind". Yes, still a raging tantrum, but a self aware one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:7 is old enough to have a conversation about emotional control. When my kid loses it I say something like- it looks to me that you are having a problem controlling you emotions. Let's talk when you calm down. Then wait it out. Then we have a conversation about how we control our brains which control out emotions. It's not always easy and we can still physically feel our emotions even when we can control the outward expression. We go into all sorts of detail about this. I've had these conversations with my kids since they were 3. Now my 7 yo makes comments when she's upset that make her teachers or other parents take notice about how self aware she is. Sometimes she still loses it, but a soft gentle reminder usually helps her back on track.

Her last tantrum made me chuckle a bit - she was rolling around on the floor screaming "why did I make such a bad choice... I wish I could go back it time to change my mind". Yes, still a raging tantrum, but a self aware one.

NP. This is a great prompt. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Could be anxiety. I would address this with the pediatrician.

[Anonymous]

Just some ideas for preparing for a therapist. Start a log. Note time of day and triggers. Note sleep and eating for that day. Note where it occurred and who was present. Anything that can help you identify patterns and triggers will be helpful. Even if you think you know these things, a lot will either confirm what you know or will help you identify things that you thought but turn out not to be accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:7 is old enough to have a conversation about emotional control. When my kid loses it I say something like- it looks to me that you are having a problem controlling you emotions. Let's talk when you calm down. Then wait it out. Then we have a conversation about how we control our brains which control out emotions. It's not always easy and we can still physically feel our emotions even when we can control the outward expression. We go into all sorts of detail about this. I've had these conversations with my kids since they were 3. Now my 7 yo makes comments when she's upset that make her teachers or other parents take notice about how self aware she is. Sometimes she still loses it, but a soft gentle reminder usually helps her back on track.

Her last tantrum made me chuckle a bit - she was rolling around on the floor screaming "why did I make such a bad choice... I wish I could go back it time to change my mind". Yes, still a raging tantrum, but a self aware one.

"let's talk when you calm down"- how does this work? Do you send them to their room? Take them to a corner and talk about it? I've done this a few different ways and it never feels right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any advice for how to help a 7 year-old who has rages? Or any books or resources that helped you? I'm going through the onerous process of finding a therapist.

How long has this been going on? Is it a new thing?

[Anonymous]

In our case it was anxiety. We finally began medication around age 11 and the emotional dysregulation was alleviated within just weeks.

[Anonymous]

This was us a few years ago and therapy was VERY helpful. It gave him not only tools on how to calm himself but also ways to prevent the emotions from taking over so it didn't reach that level anymore. We are now in the maintenance stage where we can reach out to her if needed and she checks in occasionally but we can manage it without her. We could not have done this alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:7 is old enough to have a conversation about emotional control. When my kid loses it I say something like- it looks to me that you are having a problem controlling you emotions. Let's talk when you calm down. Then wait it out. Then we have a conversation about how we control our brains which control out emotions. It's not always easy and we can still physically feel our emotions even when we can control the outward expression. We go into all sorts of detail about this. I've had these conversations with my kids since they were 3. Now my 7 yo makes comments when she's upset that make her teachers or other parents take notice about how self aware she is. Sometimes she still loses it, but a soft gentle reminder usually helps her back on track.

Her last tantrum made me chuckle a bit - she was rolling around on the floor screaming "why did I make such a bad choice... I wish I could go back it time to change my mind". Yes, still a raging tantrum, but a self aware one.

"let's talk when you calm down"- how does this work? Do you send them to their room? Take them to a corner and talk about it? I've done this a few different ways and it never feels right.

Not the PP, but in our house, we don't send them to their rooms to calm down. When they are disregulated, we just stay near them. We may try co-regulation actively, or we will just sit there calmly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:7 is old enough to have a conversation about emotional control. When my kid loses it I say something like- it looks to me that you are having a problem controlling you emotions. Let's talk when you calm down. Then wait it out. Then we have a conversation about how we control our brains which control out emotions. It's not always easy and we can still physically feel our emotions even when we can control the outward expression. We go into all sorts of detail about this. I've had these conversations with my kids since they were 3. Now my 7 yo makes comments when she's upset that make her teachers or other parents take notice about how self aware she is. Sometimes she still loses it, but a soft gentle reminder usually helps her back on track.

Her last tantrum made me chuckle a bit - she was rolling around on the floor screaming "why did I make such a bad choice... I wish I could go back it time to change my mind". Yes, still a raging tantrum, but a self aware one.

"let's talk when you calm down"- how does this work? Do you send them to their room? Take them to a corner and talk about it? I've done this a few different ways and it never feels right.

NP. I am not going to talk/argue with (escalate) or validate (nope) a rage - although my DS has more rage-meltdowns (from anxiety and ASD) and I try to just ride it out with as little input as possible.

FWIW, I've know a child who had rages and the family would just avoid him until he was done - eventually diagnosed with bipolar. But I would consider anxiety first before looking for other diagnoses.