How to help without helping?

[Anonymous]

If your kid went out of state and settled there for job and not finding good interesting dates there due to limited free time and social circle, how are they going to find love? If you've a big social circle in your town and can introduce them to suitable matches, should you try? Mine thinks its an attempt to do arrange marriage, which is a taboo among current generation of Indian-Americans. How can i convince her to consider it?

[Anonymous]

Why do they need to "find love"? What if they are content to work and have friends and have adventures?

[Anonymous]

The suitable matches you could potentially provide are in your area or hers? I'm certain they don't want them in your area. Is your child saying something about wanting to meet people? That matters a lot, too.

[Anonymous]

Should i just stay out of it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do they need to "find love"? What if they are content to work and have friends and have adventures?

I don't want them to regret not doing it and facing difficulty later. I read here how people in 30's and 40's struggle with dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Should i just stay out of it?

Yes.

Unless they ask for the help, stay out of their dating life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The suitable matches you could potentially provide are in your area or hers? I'm certain they don't want them in your area. Is your child saying something about wanting to meet people? That matters a lot, too.

She isn't saying anything. I'm the one who is saying it. Its true most matches are in my state but aren't most young people open to moving to NY?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Should i just stay out of it?

Yes, unless they ask for your help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The suitable matches you could potentially provide are in your area or hers? I'm certain they don't want them in your area. Is your child saying something about wanting to meet people? That matters a lot, too.

She isn't saying anything. I'm the one who is saying it. Its true most matches are in my state but aren't most young people open to moving to NY?

No.

[Anonymous]

Is the real problem that she's dating white guys?

[Anonymous]

What would you do in my shoes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the real problem that she's dating white guys?

I'm open to any good person, no racial limitations.

[Anonymous]

No rush either but bit worried about putting it on back burner for career. Both things have their value. No?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Should i just stay out of it?

Yes 100% this, good instinct.

I'm impressed you found the right answer on your own so quickly OP. You seem self-aware and I know this will help you with your DD and any future spouse. Good work!

[Anonymous]

Do this so you've taken action, can forget it and move on Get a 10 year calendar. On the calendar, on some date 10 years from now, write a reminder to ask her again.