If you have a mixture of adopted and birth children, is the love feeling different?

[Anonymous]

Do you feel the same love for them all or is it different?

The other post triggered me or took me back to a time when I dated a man who struggled as an adoptee from China. He never felt as his parents loved him the same as their birth child. But they supplemented with eating at restaurants they felt were cultural experiences and festivals.

I do sometimes wonder if there is a difference for everyone or was this a peculiar situation.

I haven’t researched adoption but I do sometimes wonder when I see a child needing a home if I could give the proper home environment to make them feel loved as they desire.

What has worked for your family? Was it simply natural to integrate and the love was there from the beginning?

[Anonymous]

The adopted one is my favorite. I don't know if I love him MORE than the others, but I am ALWAYS happy to see/talk with him.

[Anonymous]

Well my adopted son grew up to be a senator and he is my favorite. My daughter (non-adopted) is just a teaching assistant at a school for blind kids. She is morbidly obese as well. My son (non-adopted) is actor, but he has struggled with addiction issues and his acting isn’t serious stuff. Mostly sitcoms and an occasional movie, but he is good looking.

I’m still proud of them all, especially with all they have been through since their dad died in a house fire when they were teens.

[Anonymous]

Look at it this way, if your birth child was drowning and your adopted child was drowning, and you knew only one you could save and the other would die, who are you saving? My birth child…

[Anonymous]

My adopted child came to me at 8 with lots of trauma and mistrust. I worked hard to figure out how to love him but it took time. And he worked hard to figure out how to love me.

In some ways, I think my love for him was fiercer and more powerful because it was something we both consciously built.

In comparison, my love for my birth kids came automatically and easily. It was like breathing.

I never adopted a newborn. I imagine it is more like the latter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look at it this way, if your birth child was drowning and your adopted child was drowning, and you knew only one you could save and the other would die, who are you saving? My birth child…

omg this is so sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well my adopted son grew up to be a senator and he is my favorite. My daughter (non-adopted) is just a teaching assistant at a school for blind kids. She is morbidly obese as well. My son (non-adopted) is actor, but he has struggled with addiction issues and his acting isn’t serious stuff. Mostly sitcoms and an occasional movie, but he is good looking.

I’m still proud of them all, especially with all they have been through since their dad died in a house fire when they were teens.

I feel so sorry for your daughter whom you judge by her weight rather than helping blind children. I bet both your birth children have no use for you either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well my adopted son grew up to be a senator and he is my favorite. My daughter (non-adopted) is just a teaching assistant at a school for blind kids. She is morbidly obese as well. My son (non-adopted) is actor, but he has struggled with addiction issues and his acting isn’t serious stuff. Mostly sitcoms and an occasional movie, but he is good looking.

I’m still proud of them all, especially with all they have been through since their dad died in a house fire when they were teens.

I feel so sorry for your daughter whom you judge by her weight rather than helping blind children. I bet both your birth children have no use for you either.

Poster is reference This Is Us.

[Anonymous]

No, not for me. Honestly I rarely think of him as my adopted child- he is just my child. I love him the same way I love my other two kids.

[Anonymous]

We adopted our son as a young teen. I love him, but it is different from raising a kid from infancy like my bio kids. Not less, just different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well my adopted son grew up to be a senator and he is my favorite. My daughter (non-adopted) is just a teaching assistant at a school for blind kids. She is morbidly obese as well. My son (non-adopted) is actor, but he has struggled with addiction issues and his acting isn’t serious stuff. Mostly sitcoms and an occasional movie, but he is good looking.

I’m still proud of them all, especially with all they have been through since their dad died in a house fire when they were teens.

I feel so sorry for your daughter whom you judge by her weight rather than helping blind children. I bet both your birth children have no use for you either.

Omg - clearly a tv show plot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well my adopted son grew up to be a senator and he is my favorite. My daughter (non-adopted) is just a teaching assistant at a school for blind kids. She is morbidly obese as well. My son (non-adopted) is actor, but he has struggled with addiction issues and his acting isn’t serious stuff. Mostly sitcoms and an occasional movie, but he is good looking.

I’m still proud of them all, especially with all they have been through since their dad died in a house fire when they were teens.

I feel so sorry for your daughter whom you judge by her weight rather than helping blind children. I bet both your birth children have no use for you either.

Hopefully, they will all - plus the ghost of the obstetrician who brought them into this world - be there at OP's bedside when she dies.

[Anonymous]

The better question is whether you regret your adopted kid when they are acting badly or upsetting you. Are you quick to wish you never got them?

[Anonymous]

My mom genuinely forgets that her adopted kids are adopted. She'll talk about family resemblances, including things one of us supposedly inherited from a grandmother or something. When I was filling out college enrollment paperwork, I asked her what I should put for "family medical history," and she immediately responded, "Well, your great-grandmother had diabetes, your grandfather had heart issues," etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom genuinely forgets that her adopted kids are adopted. She'll talk about family resemblances, including things one of us supposedly inherited from a grandmother or something. When I was filling out college enrollment paperwork, I asked her what I should put for "family medical history," and she immediately responded, "Well, your great-grandmother had diabetes, your grandfather had heart issues," etc.

I've done that numerous times. For some reason a bunch of us were talking about when our oldest was born and I blanked and then panicked. Why can't I remember when he was born?! And then I realized: I wasn't there for it.