I never had all these, should I pretend or make up stories?

[Anonymous]

I grew up in Asia, and I never have had santa claus, tooth fairy, trick or treat, advent calendar, easter hunt, kid birthday party, and thanksgiving. I don't have religion. I celebrate all these with my kids growing up here even though I don't really get the true meanings of why do we do that.

My kid has asked me what tooth fairy gave me, and l told him that we don't have tooth fairy in Asia. Probably bad answer, huh? I told them advent calendar is the countdown of christmas day when they get gifts from santa claus, probably that is not the fact, but that is how I interpret and explain to them. Should I pretend that I had tooth fairy, santa claus etc growing up, and sharing what I have received etc? Like to make up fake stories?

[Anonymous]

What does your partner think?

[Anonymous]

I’d tell your kids they have to believe in that stuff for it to happen to you as a kid. And then just say you didn’t know about it as a child.

[Anonymous]

Just say tooth fairy, Santa, Easter bunny etc. were banned by the president over there, so they couldn't come there. And kids were so sad.

[Anonymous]

I would say that Santa and the Easter Bunny visit families that practice their traditions. Your family had different traditions, so you didn't get visits from Santa or EB, but you did have (insert some family tradition here) instead.

[Anonymous]

I think honesty is simplest. It's fine to say you didn't have the tooth fairy in Asia. Did you have any different traditions related to teeth? If so, you could also share those if you want.

As for traditions new to you, it's fine to say you don't know why we do things a certain way! If your child is very curious, look up the information together--it's great to model looking up answers for things you don't know about.

[Anonymous]

Don’t really get why this is an issue. Just said you didn’t celebrate this but you did celebrate many other wonderful stories and traditions.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in Asia too; I tell my kids we didn’t have easter bunnies or tooth fairy in Asia, but tell them what we did have (Lunar New Year, Harvest festival, etc.). I try to “celebrate” these days with the kids too, along with American ones.

You didn’t have a birthday party tho?? I did get those in Korea. Also had a tiny fake Christmas tree, and ONE present to each kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm the child of immigrants and I don't recall ever asking my parents if they had tooth fairy/Santa Claus/etc. when they were children, so one thing to consider is that they won't remember your explanation so it doesn't have to be a good one. They might have just said "oh we didn't have that" or something like that.

You also don't *have* to do all of the stuff you mentioned. My parents did the tooth fairy and half-heartedly did Santa Claus, and it was enough.

Also, your way of explaining advent is how my husband (whose father is a pastor) explains it to our kids, for what it's worth

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say that Santa and the Easter Bunny visit families that practice their traditions. Your family had different traditions, so you didn't get visits from Santa or EB, but you did have (insert some family tradition here) instead.

+1 to this

You don’t have to do them all either, if you don’t want to buy the way. Plenty of Americans don’t, especially the Christian themed ones (advent calendar, Santa, Easter bunnny). I grew up with a different kind of advent calendar them people mostly do here (no gifts) and that’s what my kids are getting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say that Santa and the Easter Bunny visit families that practice their traditions. Your family had different traditions, so you didn't get visits from Santa or EB, but you did have (insert some family tradition here) instead.

+1 to this

You don’t have to do them all either, if you don’t want to buy the way. Plenty of Americans don’t, especially the Christian themed ones (advent calendar, Santa, Easter bunnny). I grew up with a different kind of advent calendar them people mostly do here (no gifts) and that’s what my kids are getting.

I also grew up with giftless, candy-free Advent calendar. Everyday there was something positive to do. I’ve used both my kids. They open the positive thing in the morning and then at dinner, discuss how it went. For dessert, they get a piece of the candy from the other calendar. It’s just Lidl so it’s smaller than a Hershey kiss.

Although the daily positive thing is from my religion (Catholic), it can be adapted for any religion (or none) and used for any time period to encourage positivity, charity, thoughtfulness, and other mindsets and actions.

[Anonymous]

When I don't know how to answer a question from my kids I just say "What do you think?" and then say something like oh wow that's a great thought.

[Anonymous]

You should probably learn the stories of those things so that you'll be able to talk to your kids about them, as all of these things will be topics of conversation. But you should not pretend that you had these traditions as a child, because you didn't. It's an opportunity to tell your children about the culture in which you grew up, which is part of their heritage.

Frankly I would welcome the opportunity to not participate in Tooth Fairy/Easter Bunny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in Asia, and I never have had santa claus, tooth fairy, trick or treat, advent calendar, easter hunt, kid birthday party, and thanksgiving. I don't have religion. I celebrate all these with my kids growing up here even though I don't really get the true meanings of why do we do that.

My kid has asked me what tooth fairy gave me, and l told him that we don't have tooth fairy in Asia. Probably bad answer, huh? I told them advent calendar is the countdown of christmas day when they get gifts from santa claus, probably that is not the fact, but that is how I interpret and explain to them. Should I pretend that I had tooth fairy, santa claus etc growing up, and sharing what I have received etc? Like to make up fake stories?

Dang, you were gypped, girlfriend! You need to sue tooth fairy, santa claus, easter bunny for back pay! Plus, emotional damages... LOL