SIL moved in with barky dog. Baby due in 4 weeks. Reasonable boundaries check pls!
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Anonymous
| My partner & I agreed to move in with MIL (she lives alone and health has been on decline). We contribute to rent and other expenses. My SIL recently came up on hard times and asked to move in to living room for a year. She comes with a young dog that is not trained and barks when she is not home. We told her we do not want to take care of her dog as our main concern will be the baby. But already on a couple occasions she has left us alone with the dog who then barks like crazy and poops and pees inside. I am 36 weeks pregnant and seriously stressed about what it will be like when we bring baby home. My impulsive reaction is wanting my partner and I to move out but I know that would be hard on MIL. Other reaction is setting firmer boundaries even asking SIL not to have dog stay with us. Is thar cruel?? |
Anonymous
| I would move. MIL isn’t going to ask her DIL to leave, so the only options you have are to learn to live with it, or leave the situation. |
Anonymous
| Move out. SIL can take care of her mother. You need to take care of your own family. |
Anonymous
| Move out. Nothing will change on thier end. |
Anonymous
| OP, if you’re gonna mooch off of your MIL you can’t complain when other family members do too. |
Anonymous
| Looks like SIL is now there to take care of MIL so the two of you are free to move out. Is there something we are missing as to why that is not the case? |
Anonymous
| Move out, with a newborn in the mix it will get even worse |
Anonymous
| No, you can’t set firm boundaries when you aren’t in your own home (except to say you won’t take care of the dog and the dog can’t come into your room/space). All you can do is move out. |
Anonymous
| Tell you MIL that either the dog goes or you go. |
Anonymous
| Move out. Your MIL now has someone to take care of her. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
|
Can’t you just have an open conversation about all this without jumping to ultimatums or moving out?
“Hey everyone, with the baby due soon we wanted start planning since we’ll all be in survival mode. Since the baby will need to nap, we need the house to be quiet, and since we’ll be caring for the baby we can’t take care of the dog. We did some research and found these bark collars that have good reviews, but we’re open to other suggestions. Do you have any ideas?” We did this with my 20 year old step daughter when I had a baby and couldn’t care for her dog, who also barked nonstop and peed and pooped inside. We were all friendly and adult about the whole thing, and she decided on her own that she wanted to move out. No harm done to the relationship. |
Anonymous
+1. Seems simple to me. |
Anonymous
| It's not your house so you don't get to set the boundaries. Move out. |
Anonymous
| You can talk with your MIL and SOL and let them know that you’ll need to move out as soon as possible because of the dog. |