Parent with cancer, response to falling clothing size

[Anonymous]

My cousins made an 83-year-old, moderately cognitively impaired father replace all of his clothes when he lost weight and went from a side XL to all medium. He really wanted to keep wearing some of his old shirts but his younger relatives threw the big clothes out.

Is that a common response to cancer-related weight loss? If so, what’s the rationale?

[Anonymous]

Maybe it was too hard to see his clothes hanging off him as a reminder of how ill he is? Not sure. I know I would never make my similarly-aged father stop wearing the clothes he likes. Especially if he was terminally ill and cognitively impaired. It seems cruel.

[Anonymous]

I am sure they thought they were being helpful...but they should have respected his preferences

[Anonymous]

After losing nearly 80 lbs to cancer, I kept some of my too big clothes, but after six months, I did reluctantly donate most of my plus-sized wardrobe because they hung horribly on my now S frame. I looked ridiculous in them. A belt can only do so much because the fabric bunches at the crotch. I kept a few sentimental items.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it was too hard to see his clothes hanging off him as a reminder of how ill he is? Not sure. I know I would never make my similarly-aged father stop wearing the clothes he likes. Especially if he was terminally ill and cognitively impaired. It seems cruel.

I think the cousin thinks that it’s just wrong to wear baggy clothes? I just think it’s nasty to take choices away from someone who’s already losing choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After losing nearly 80 lbs to cancer, I kept some of my too big clothes, but after six months, I did reluctantly donate most of my plus-sized wardrobe because they hung horribly on my now S frame. I looked ridiculous in them. A belt can only do so much because the fabric bunches at the crotch. I kept a few sentimental items.

I wish the cousins could have just let the father keep more of the old clothes in the closet, just to look at. They’re very anti stuff. In a way, that’s good, I guess, but it seems mean to impose that way of thinking on people who aren’t in any danger of hoarding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After losing nearly 80 lbs to cancer, I kept some of my too big clothes, but after six months, I did reluctantly donate most of my plus-sized wardrobe because they hung horribly on my now S frame. I looked ridiculous in them. A belt can only do so much because the fabric bunches at the crotch. I kept a few sentimental items.

I wish the cousins could have just let the father keep more of the old clothes in the closet, just to look at. They’re very anti stuff. In a way, that’s good, I guess, but it seems mean to impose that way of thinking on people who aren’t in any danger of hoarding.

I can see myself being guilty of this. He doesn’t need the bigger clothes and never will again. I am not sentimentally to clothes (woman here) so I would want to help by clearing out his house of junk. Why make him see clothes that he shouldn’t wear every day? Pants that are falling off him may make him a fall risk, too. If he goes to the hospital, nursing home, or does, there will be a lot of “stuff” to take care of, so it’s logical to try to take care of some of those logistics now. It’s coldly rational maybe, and substituting the judgment of the caregiver for the patient, but it’s probably done with love and a touch of exhaustion/burnout.

[Anonymous]

No, that’s terrible. My dad just tightened his belt until he really didn’t get dressed much, but he was terminal.

[Anonymous]

That was wrong of them. It’s his stuff and he should get to decide what he wears, not them. They should also compensate him for the cost of his property that they threw out.

[Anonymous]

He should have called the police.

[Anonymous]

Of course they should have followed his wishes! Anything that makes an 83 year old ill man happy..

[Anonymous]

OP, find something else to be outraged about