Supportive Mother

[Anonymous]

'They can be happy if they choose to only focus on their career': Michelle Obama says she doesn't want her daughters Malia, 24, and Sasha, 21, to feel pressure to get married or have kids before they 'know who they are'.



https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-11454769/amp/Michelle-Obama-says-doesnt-want-daughters-feel-pressure-married-kids.html

[Anonymous]

Usually mothers are torn between kids missing out on marital/parental bliss and personal discovery/career growth but she is a good example of supportive and nonjudgmental motherig.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Usually mothers are torn between kids missing out on marital/parental bliss and personal discovery/career growth but she is a good example of supportive and nonjudgmental motherig.

I think you are projecting. I have never felt this “conflict “ for my daughter:

[Anonymous]

I think it's very valuable to have a mother who can imagine a life for you that does not involve marriage or children and is still worthwhile and meaningful. I think many parents don't understand that what they think of as "hopes" for their children can feel like expectations. Even when you say "well I hope my child finds love and has a family but of course I will support them no matter what", it still creates an imposition on your child to fulfill your hopes for them.

Parents often don't understand how impactful their opinions are on their kids, even as adults, even if you aren't that close or you think your child doesn't respect you. Parents have enormous influence over their kids.

Expressing faith that your children will create meaningful lives for themselves, whatever that looks like to them, is a wonderful gift to give to you kids. It's true freedom and allows them to make decisions based on what is truly right for them instead of what might please you or make you proud. If you have raised them well and will values and a strong sense of self, giving them this freedom WILL make you proud, whatever they do. If you try to control or guide them in adulthood, they will likely disappoint either you or themselves. Or both.

[Anonymous]

Are we now telling them that marriage and family is unnecessary?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:'They can be happy if they choose to only focus on their career': Michelle Obama says she doesn't want her daughters Malia, 24, and Sasha, 21, to feel pressure to get married or have kids before they 'know who they are'.



https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-11454769/amp/Michelle-Obama-says-doesnt-want-daughters-feel-pressure-married-kids.html

any kids with parents with connections like obamas, yeah, that's easy to say. she is tone deaf and disconnected with reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:'They can be happy if they choose to only focus on their career': Michelle Obama says she doesn't want her daughters Malia, 24, and Sasha, 21, to feel pressure to get married or have kids before they 'know who they are'.



https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-11454769/amp/Michelle-Obama-says-doesnt-want-daughters-feel-pressure-married-kids.html

any kids with parents with connections like obamas, yeah, that's easy to say. she is tone deaf and disconnected with reality.

What does connections have to do with waiting to get married?

[Anonymous]

This is often an advice parents give if they don't like the person kids are dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are we now telling them that marriage and family is unnecessary?

Thank goodness we live in a time and place where marriage is not necessary. Oh, there's still a lot of judgment because of entrenched patriarchism in both men and women, but at least women have more legal independence than they did in, say, the 1970s.

Family means different things to different people. It's closer to being a necessity than a want because humans are social creatures. I'd say family chosen/created family is a necessity but you don't have to be married or have children to have family.

[Anonymous]

Wait until The Obama girls are pushing 30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are we now telling them that marriage and family is unnecessary?

I have absolutely told my kids they should not think that they should get married or have kids because of what *I* may want. What I want is for them to be fulfilled, happy, healthy successful contributors to society in whatever form they choose. And I have told them they are not to get married until their brains have fully developed and THEN they've taken at least a year or two to see who they are as adults with fully developed brains.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait until The Obama girls are pushing 30.

I got married at 34 and don't regret "waiting" that long at all. I knew exactly who I was by the time I got married. I knew what I wanted in a spouse, a marriage, what I was willing to compromise on, what I wasn't, where my boundaries were, I'd had a few years to see others' mistakes. Could I have gotten married at 25? Yes. Would I be happy now? I don't think so, and I'm glad I listened to that internal voice and said no to that man. He was directly telling me he wanted to marry me because of my looks and all the material things he thought we'd get from the wedding. Did he like me a lot? Yes. Did he love me? Yes, I think so. Was he mature enough to get married? I don't think so. Did our priorities about materialism and money align? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait until The Obama girls are pushing 30.

See? But that's the thing. For average girls, you would be in trouble but not for these girls. Plenty of guys willing to date/marry one of Obamas.

[Anonymous]

She’s pressuring them to have a career. My mom was like that. She was horrified when I quit due to child care issues when she would not help out for even an hour.

[Anonymous]

I guess kids with immense wealth, fame and connections would be fine with or without career, spouses or kids. Us average beings can't relate to privileged parents.