Moms 35 and Older - When Did You Share Pregnancy News with Friends and Family

[Anonymous]

I shared my earlier pregnancies with very close friends and family around 10 weeks, but my OBGYN advised that I wait to share my current pregnancy until I get the results of the Nuchal and blood tests because I am 35. We do not live close to our families so it would be nice to share the news in person when we see them at Christmas, but I will be 11 weeks and won't have the results of either test at that point. Is it common to wait on test results to tell friends and family, especially if over 35?

[Anonymous]

I'm 42. If I get pregnant, I won't be telling anyone. They'll see the belly when it's big enough, and if they're long distance and we don't Facetime, I'll announce the birth. This is because I plan to terminate if the fetus has a problem.

[Anonymous]

This is totally weird and inappropriate for your OB to suggest. An OB should have no say in when you tell your friends and family about your pregnancy. If you want to share this info now, nothing should stop you.

There is always a chance you will have to share the news that you lost your pregnancy. That unfortunately never goes away.

[Anonymous]

I told family after my first (bedside) ultrasound at 8 weeks. A tad early for my taste but we were going to be around them. I’m 36 and I’ve had a loss before. They knew and understood that it was early and confidential.

[Anonymous]

Why aren't you having the NIPT test done? I did it at 10 weeks and got the results back in 2 days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you having the NIPT test done? I did it at 10 weeks and got the results back in 2 days.

Even is OP does the NIPT, it's still a probability assessment - not an actual analysis of her fetus, like for the 15-20 week amnio or 11-14 week CVS. Families really need to understand this key difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is totally weird and inappropriate for your OB to suggest. An OB should have no say in when you tell your friends and family about your pregnancy. If you want to share this info now, nothing should stop you.

There is always a chance you will have to share the news that you lost your pregnancy. That unfortunately never goes away.

I wouldn't share early because that's my personality, but +1 to the bolded. Unless you've made a point of stressing to your OB that you want to terminate if the tests turn something up, this is just bizarre to push this perspective on a patient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you having the NIPT test done? I did it at 10 weeks and got the results back in 2 days.

OP- By blood test I meant NIST. I didn't know you could do it at 10 weeks though. My OB had me do it at 12 weeks before so I assumed that was the earliest you could do it. I also didn't realize that results could be turned around so quickly. I got the results in about two weeks last time, so I assumed that was standard.

For the person who mentioned amnio and CVS testing- I haven't done either test with my previous pregnancies. I was under the impression that it would make sense to do them if something came up during the NIST test, if parents are carriers of the same genetic disorders, or if sibling(s) have something that can be screened for in either test but not the NIST. Why would someone choose to do amnio or CVS testing if there are no indicators of a problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you having the NIPT test done? I did it at 10 weeks and got the results back in 2 days.

OP- By blood test I meant NIST. I didn't know you could do it at 10 weeks though. My OB had me do it at 12 weeks before so I assumed that was the earliest you could do it. I also didn't realize that results could be turned around so quickly. I got the results in about two weeks last time, so I assumed that was standard.

For the person who mentioned amnio and CVS testing- I haven't done either test with my previous pregnancies. I was under the impression that it would make sense to do them if something came up during the NIST test, if parents are carriers of the same genetic disorders, or if sibling(s) have something that can be screened for in either test but not the NIST. Why would someone choose to do amnio or CVS testing if there are no indicators of a problem?

I meant NIPT not NIST. Sorry!

[Anonymous]

If you’ve had earlier successful pregnancies, I’d have no problem telling close family and friends your news if you want. I’d hope those same people would be available for support in the unlikely event of a loss at this point. For me personally at 42, no one outside of our small immediate circle knew until we sent birth announcements.

[Anonymous]

3 months

[Anonymous]

20 weeks after anatomy scan. And some found out after she was born.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 42. If I get pregnant, I won't be telling anyone. They'll see the belly when it's big enough, and if they're long distance and we don't Facetime, I'll announce the birth. This is because I plan to terminate if the fetus has a problem.

Big difference between 35 and 42. The chances of any chromosomal abnormality at 35 are much, much lower than at 42 -- 1 in 192, as opposed to 1 in 42. For Down Syndrome, it's 1 in 378 vs 1 in 63. To my mind, there's no reason you can't spread the word sooner than later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you having the NIPT test done? I did it at 10 weeks and got the results back in 2 days.

OP- By blood test I meant NIST. I didn't know you could do it at 10 weeks though. My OB had me do it at 12 weeks before so I assumed that was the earliest you could do it. I also didn't realize that results could be turned around so quickly. I got the results in about two weeks last time, so I assumed that was standard.

For the person who mentioned amnio and CVS testing- I haven't done either test with my previous pregnancies. I was under the impression that it would make sense to do them if something came up during the NIST test, if parents are carriers of the same genetic disorders, or if sibling(s) have something that can be screened for in either test but not the NIST. Why would someone choose to do amnio or CVS testing if there are no indicators of a problem?

Because as explained above, the NIPT is just a general risk assessment. For families who really want to know if their fetus carries certain genetic disorders, they need either an amnio or a CVS.

[Anonymous]

If you want to terminate and you don't want to share that with everybody (or lie and say you have a miscarriage), don't tell until the first tests come back normal.

I waited until the nuchal translucency scan but by the third pregnancy I didn't care anymore.