How to find a good therapist to help with some of these midlife issues

[Anonymous]

Could have chimed in on several of these midlife threads about kids getting older, parents having health issues, and a general sense of midlife malaise. I’m right there with you as it seems many of my friends are. I’m also reaching a point of transition in my career where I feel desperate to make a change, but am afraid to take the leap after being in the same place for a long time.

I think it would be helpful for me to talk to someone, but I have no idea where/how to find a therapist. Just googling seems silly. Would really like to find someone with experience/focus in working with women my age going through these midlife issues. Any recommendations on ways to find people or even specific individuals to recommend? I’m not opposed to zoom sessions, but would like the option of meeting in person on occasion.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

-Go to psychologytoday.com
-Enter your health insurance and zip code
-Click on middle age or mid-life (or whatever they call it - many issues and age range items are available to click)
Many profiles will pop up. Click on them, because three quarters probably will not be accepting new patients. Read the profiles of the one that's that are accepting new patients, contact several of them, because chances are most won't be able to accommodate your schedule. Hopefully you find one that works and it's a good fit!

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP about Psychology Today. You can also ask your doctor for suggestions.

After you find two or three potential therapists, set up a meeting with them to see if they might be a fit for you. Have a list of questions and be ready to tell them what you want from therapy (as best you can). Google 'how to interview a therapist ' for help with questions

Good luck!.

[Anonymous]

I think it may be hard to get an appointment right now. My therapist said everyone is booked. I actually think you might do better with a coach based on your post. I’ve done both.

Look for one who focuses on midlife issues. I’d try both a search on LinkedIn and Google. Some will be more career focused, others will have different specialties or focus, and some will be general life coaches. The vast majority I’ve seen have free initial meetings, so you can see if there’s a fit. Some have lower commitment than others, though the vast majority will be zoom sessions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it may be hard to get an appointment right now. My therapist said everyone is booked. I actually think you might do better with a coach based on your post. I’ve done both.

Look for one who focuses on midlife issues. I’d try both a search on LinkedIn and Google. Some will be more career focused, others will have different specialties or focus, and some will be general life coaches. The vast majority I’ve seen have free initial meetings, so you can see if there’s a fit. Some have lower commitment than others, though the vast majority will be zoom sessions.

Absolutely anyone can take any BS course or not with some made up name and certification and call themselves a coach. It's the wild west, unregulated and full of BSers. Best to get on the waitlist for professionals who answer to a licensing board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it may be hard to get an appointment right now. My therapist said everyone is booked. I actually think you might do better with a coach based on your post. I’ve done both.

Look for one who focuses on midlife issues. I’d try both a search on LinkedIn and Google. Some will be more career focused, others will have different specialties or focus, and some will be general life coaches. The vast majority I’ve seen have free initial meetings, so you can see if there’s a fit. Some have lower commitment than others, though the vast majority will be zoom sessions.

Absolutely anyone can take any BS course or not with some made up name and certification and call themselves a coach. It's the wild west, unregulated and full of BSers. Best to get on the waitlist for professionals who answer to a licensing board.

Sure, I knew you'd pop up:

A: There are many, many terrible licensed therapists, so a license is not a guarantee of excellency
B: If you care about licensing, try an IFC coach -- but know a career coach likely wouldn't have that certification. Some coaches have Master's degrees, including MSWs.
C: If you can get help from someone, what does it matter whet their qualifications are? People gain insight from speakers, books, podcasters all the time.
D: Therapy looks at past issues, coaching is forward focused -- which is specifically what OP had asked for.
E: Many more coaches will specialize in midlife issues. I've never once heard of a therapist who does
F: Are you going to put your life on hold while you wait for a therapy appointment to open up? I can guarantee it's not the best therapists with openings right now. The APA just came out with their annual report and 25% of the US population reported they are not functioning. Therapists are inundated.

https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2022/10/multiple-stressors-no-function

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it may be hard to get an appointment right now. My therapist said everyone is booked. I actually think you might do better with a coach based on your post. I’ve done both.

Look for one who focuses on midlife issues. I’d try both a search on LinkedIn and Google. Some will be more career focused, others will have different specialties or focus, and some will be general life coaches. The vast majority I’ve seen have free initial meetings, so you can see if there’s a fit. Some have lower commitment than others, though the vast majority will be zoom sessions.

Absolutely anyone can take any BS course or not with some made up name and certification and call themselves a coach. It's the wild west, unregulated and full of BSers. Best to get on the waitlist for professionals who answer to a licensing board.

Sure, I knew you'd pop up:

A: There are many, many terrible licensed therapists, so a license is not a guarantee of excellency
B: If you care about licensing, try an IFC coach -- but know a career coach likely wouldn't have that certification. Some coaches have Master's degrees, including MSWs.
C: If you can get help from someone, what does it matter whet their qualifications are? People gain insight from speakers, books, podcasters all the time.
D: Therapy looks at past issues, coaching is forward focused -- which is specifically what OP had asked for.
E: Many more coaches will specialize in midlife issues. I've never once heard of a therapist who does
F: Are you going to put your life on hold while you wait for a therapy appointment to open up? I can guarantee it's not the best therapists with openings right now. The APA just came out with their annual report and 25% of the US population reported they are not functioning. Therapists are inundated.

https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2022/10/multiple-stressors-no-function

IFC is not anything official. Yes, there are bad therapists and doctors and teachers, but there are also good ones and if you have a bad experience at least there are regulating agencies. While you wait for a therapist, besides staying active on the waitlist, you can talk to friends and close family for free, and do selfcare. If you are going to pay for help, IMO better to make sure it is a trained professional with plenty of experience in a regulated field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it may be hard to get an appointment right now. My therapist said everyone is booked. I actually think you might do better with a coach based on your post. I’ve done both.

Look for one who focuses on midlife issues. I’d try both a search on LinkedIn and Google. Some will be more career focused, others will have different specialties or focus, and some will be general life coaches. The vast majority I’ve seen have free initial meetings, so you can see if there’s a fit. Some have lower commitment than others, though the vast majority will be zoom sessions.

Absolutely anyone can take any BS course or not with some made up name and certification and call themselves a coach. It's the wild west, unregulated and full of BSers. Best to get on the waitlist for professionals who answer to a licensing board.

Sure, I knew you'd pop up:

A: There are many, many terrible licensed therapists, so a license is not a guarantee of excellency
B: If you care about licensing, try an IFC coach -- but know a career coach likely wouldn't have that certification. Some coaches have Master's degrees, including MSWs.
C: If you can get help from someone, what does it matter whet their qualifications are? People gain insight from speakers, books, podcasters all the time.
D: Therapy looks at past issues, coaching is forward focused -- which is specifically what OP had asked for.
E: Many more coaches will specialize in midlife issues. I've never once heard of a therapist who does
F: Are you going to put your life on hold while you wait for a therapy appointment to open up? I can guarantee it's not the best therapists with openings right now. The APA just came out with their annual report and 25% of the US population reported they are not functioning. Therapists are inundated.

https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2022/10/multiple-stressors-no-function

IFC is not anything official. Yes, there are bad therapists and doctors and teachers, but there are also good ones and if you have a bad experience at least there are regulating agencies. While you wait for a therapist, besides staying active on the waitlist, you can talk to friends and close family for free, and do selfcare. If you are going to pay for help, IMO better to make sure it is a trained professional with plenty of experience in a regulated field.

Look, we're just going to disagree because I believe coaching is a great solution for many people. You assume too much. Have you ever heard of a person who has gotten recourse through a "regulating agency" for a bad experience with a therapist, teacher, or doctor? A friend is married to a doctor, suing another for malpractice and it has gone nowhere in 8 years. People are constantly complaining about no recourse for their kids at school. There are 2-3 active threads today about people not having close friends. Finally, self-care alone is usually a solution. Why knock something you haven't tried?

[Anonymous]

Finally, self-care alone is usually NOT a solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it may be hard to get an appointment right now. My therapist said everyone is booked. I actually think you might do better with a coach based on your post. I’ve done both.

Look for one who focuses on midlife issues. I’d try both a search on LinkedIn and Google. Some will be more career focused, others will have different specialties or focus, and some will be general life coaches. The vast majority I’ve seen have free initial meetings, so you can see if there’s a fit. Some have lower commitment than others, though the vast majority will be zoom sessions.

Absolutely anyone can take any BS course or not with some made up name and certification and call themselves a coach. It's the wild west, unregulated and full of BSers. Best to get on the waitlist for professionals who answer to a licensing board.

Sure, I knew you'd pop up:

A: There are many, many terrible licensed therapists, so a license is not a guarantee of excellency
B: If you care about licensing, try an IFC coach -- but know a career coach likely wouldn't have that certification. Some coaches have Master's degrees, including MSWs.
C: If you can get help from someone, what does it matter whet their qualifications are? People gain insight from speakers, books, podcasters all the time.
D: Therapy looks at past issues, coaching is forward focused -- which is specifically what OP had asked for.
E: Many more coaches will specialize in midlife issues. I've never once heard of a therapist who does
F: Are you going to put your life on hold while you wait for a therapy appointment to open up? I can guarantee it's not the best therapists with openings right now. The APA just came out with their annual report and 25% of the US population reported they are not functioning. Therapists are inundated.

https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2022/10/multiple-stressors-no-function

IFC is not anything official. Yes, there are bad therapists and doctors and teachers, but there are also good ones and if you have a bad experience at least there are regulating agencies. While you wait for a therapist, besides staying active on the waitlist, you can talk to friends and close family for free, and do selfcare. If you are going to pay for help, IMO better to make sure it is a trained professional with plenty of experience in a regulated field.

Look, we're just going to disagree because I believe coaching is a great solution for many people. You assume too much. Have you ever heard of a person who has gotten recourse through a "regulating agency" for a bad experience with a therapist, teacher, or doctor? A friend is married to a doctor, suing another for malpractice and it has gone nowhere in 8 years. People are constantly complaining about no recourse for their kids at school. There are 2-3 active threads today about people not having close friends. Finally, self-care alone is usually a solution. Why knock something you haven't tried?

Please provide citations in reputable peer-reviewed journals that support your assertion that coaching is useful and as useful if not more useful than working with a licensed clinician. Treatments should be empirically validated (research driven).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Finally, self-care alone is usually NOT a solution.

Not a solution, but self care is so important when you are struggling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finally, self-care alone is usually NOT a solution.

Not a solution, but self care is so important when you are struggling.

+100

Not a solution, but so important and something to make sure we do as we wait for an appointment. For me, it used to be the first thing I gave up. Now when times are tough I make sure I am getting exercise, eating healthy, connecting with friends in some capacity, getting outdoors into nature. All of that helps me feel like I can get through hard times. Not a replacement for therapy, but such an important supplement and sometimes it truly is all I need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it may be hard to get an appointment right now. My therapist said everyone is booked. I actually think you might do better with a coach based on your post. I’ve done both.

Look for one who focuses on midlife issues. I’d try both a search on LinkedIn and Google. Some will be more career focused, others will have different specialties or focus, and some will be general life coaches. The vast majority I’ve seen have free initial meetings, so you can see if there’s a fit. Some have lower commitment than others, though the vast majority will be zoom sessions.

Absolutely anyone can take any BS course or not with some made up name and certification and call themselves a coach. It's the wild west, unregulated and full of BSers. Best to get on the waitlist for professionals who answer to a licensing board.

Sure, I knew you'd pop up:

A: There are many, many terrible licensed therapists, so a license is not a guarantee of excellency
B: If you care about licensing, try an IFC coach -- but know a career coach likely wouldn't have that certification. Some coaches have Master's degrees, including MSWs.
C: If you can get help from someone, what does it matter whet their qualifications are? People gain insight from speakers, books, podcasters all the time.
D: Therapy looks at past issues, coaching is forward focused -- which is specifically what OP had asked for.
E: Many more coaches will specialize in midlife issues. I've never once heard of a therapist who does
F: Are you going to put your life on hold while you wait for a therapy appointment to open up? I can guarantee it's not the best therapists with openings right now. The APA just came out with their annual report and 25% of the US population reported they are not functioning. Therapists are inundated.

https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2022/10/multiple-stressors-no-function

IFC is not anything official. Yes, there are bad therapists and doctors and teachers, but there are also good ones and if you have a bad experience at least there are regulating agencies. While you wait for a therapist, besides staying active on the waitlist, you can talk to friends and close family for free, and do selfcare. If you are going to pay for help, IMO better to make sure it is a trained professional with plenty of experience in a regulated field.

Look, we're just going to disagree because I believe coaching is a great solution for many people. You assume too much. Have you ever heard of a person who has gotten recourse through a "regulating agency" for a bad experience with a therapist, teacher, or doctor? A friend is married to a doctor, suing another for malpractice and it has gone nowhere in 8 years. People are constantly complaining about no recourse for their kids at school. There are 2-3 active threads today about people not having close friends. Finally, self-care alone is usually a solution. Why knock something you haven't tried?

Please provide citations in reputable peer-reviewed journals that support your assertion that coaching is useful and as useful if not more useful than working with a licensed clinician. Treatments should be empirically validated (research driven).

New poster - you are comparing apples to (nonexistent) oranges here.

Provide citations that support the idea that a therapist you can't make an appointment with is more useful than a coach you can reach.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the suggestions. I’m admittedly skeptical of the life coach concept, only because I know a couple of people who have become coaches without any relevant background or training. But agree it’s worth checking out to see if there are any more experienced options.

I’m actually relatively ok. Just feeling a little stuck and occasionally sad about aging parents and children getting ready to head to college. But I am prioritizing self-care and time with friends and agree with PP that it’s definitely important. Thanks, all!