To ED or Not to ED

[Anonymous]

My Dd has her ED all set and now she is getting major cold feet. She says she is not sure that school is right. She wants to change it (it is already submitted) to EA. The counselors have said the school is a target, but only if she EDs. It would be a reach RD. It’s a decent school but nothing DCUMland just puke get excited about. It’s the highest ranked school she is applying to.

I think she should just skip ED and roll the dice on EA. DH is adamant that it is just cold feet and she is blowing her chance. I am reluctant to force her because if she ends up there and is unhappy, she will blame us.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Typing on my phone and some interesting autocorrect but I think you can get the idea.

Thoughts as to best course?

[Anonymous]

I think she should switch to EA if she’s not sure it’s the right fit. Let her.

[Anonymous]

Not sure anyone can answer this for you. It really depends on whether your kid is not certain of ED school or just having cold feet. Have you sat down and talked through the merits of ED school? I would start there and be sure to let kid take the lead in the conversation. Also,
be sure they are aware that nothing is guaranteed (ED school or whatever alternative options). Good luck!

[Anonymous]

DH needs to follow DD’s lead. She is the one going to college and you don’t want her feeling like you forced her to ED.

[Anonymous]

Unless she’s absolutely sure I don’t think she should ED

[Anonymous]

What is the school as that would inform whether it's worth the ED.

[Anonymous]

Doesn’t matter what school. If she’s not certain, it shouldn’t be ED. My oldest did an ED1 that failed, and planned to do an ED2, but by then she’d lost some interest in the school. It was the right decision she got a school in RD, that has been a great fit for her, but it wasn’t even on her radar at this point in the year. My youngest also shifted focus a lot over the course of senior year. RD may be less of a sure the big, but making a choice in the spring really does make more sense.

[Anonymous]

The last thing you want is for your DD to attend a school she is not sure of. Allow her to make the EA or ED decision and let the chips fall where they may. The ED isn’t a sure thing anyway.

[Anonymous]

My DS high school counselor said she has been doing this long enough to know that he would “definitely” get into Boston College if he ED and “definitely not” get in if he RD. His stats were 75+ percentile. We thought it was bold statement but shows the impact of ED. He didn’t end up applying so never tested her claim.

[Anonymous]

The older sibling of one of DC’s friends got into an Ivy ED. Unfortunately for the kid, it was the parents’ top choice Ivy. The kid wanted a different one. Big sibling has told little sibling not to let mom and dad do this to little sibling because big sibling likes it well enough, but it’s not a perfect fit and big sibling will never know if they could have gotten into the school that they really wanted.

[Anonymous]

First, don't choose a school you don't love; but don't think were is only on true love in school or life generally. Is the cold feet because the shcool is not a good choice at all, or FOMO? If the latter, get over it and go for it.

However, the counselor said the same thing to DC about certain schools being a reach unless applying ED, and that turned out to be correct. The acceptances came in exactly the way the CC predicted.

[Anonymous]

Why are the school names secret

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are the school names secret

Because some people on DCUM are mean and will make gratuitous disparaging remarks about the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are the school names secret

Why do you memes to know? It has been laid out that it’s a target if she EDs and a reach if she doesn’t. It’s a school that takes a lot of kids ED (like a Tulane).