I'm a "foodie," DH is not

[Anonymous]

DH would be happy eating PB and Js or at restaurants all the time. I want DC to eat hot meals prepared at home. I thought when I married DH that he was more of a foodie than he really is (e.g., he loves sushi, various ethnic foods, etc.) But the reality is that although he is more adventuresome that many, he refuses to eat a lot of things and never cooks unless forced. I don't want DC to grow up with this attitude towards food--I want my child to appreciate a hot, home cooked meal, eat a variety of cuisines, and appreciate high quality food.

Advice? I think this is more about DH than child.

[Anonymous]

If you cook then it shouldn't be a problem.

[Anonymous]

Good luck. My child takes after my food resistant husband.

[Anonymous]

DH served me instant noodles the first time he invited me back to his apartment for lunch.
It took me four years to steer him towards organic and unprocessed foods, and how to use simple recipes - would have been harder, except that as a doctor and scientist, he already had a bit of a background.
We still go to McD's and eat instant noodles from time to time, but at least DH now understands that I want to see vegetables and fruit at every meal.

I recommend the Eat-Clean Diet Cookbook by Tosca Reno - a bit extreme, but definitely healthy and easy. It explains why a well-balanced and low-fat nutrition is important.

[Anonymous]

DH cooked for me when we were dating - mac n cheese (from a box) and bagels and cream cheese - in the same meal!

He was more clueless than anything else. He now understands the food groups and will basically eat anything I put in front of him. I have even taught him to cook a couple dishes, but if I ask him what to have for dinner, he reverts back to very simple, unadventurous foods.

I agree with PP - if you cook, it shouldnt be a problem, but you cant make him care or decide. He should encourage your DC to try new foods but you cant make them care about adventurous or exotic, or even super high quality, as long as they can eat simply and healthfully.

[Anonymous]

Divorce.

[Anonymous]

My first thought was that this marriage will not work out but PP gave better advice. You need to get a Bittman book and have DH try the recipes, many of which have less than five ingredients.

If that is too complicated teach DH how to cook meals with two ingredients. Whole chicken + pierced potatoes in glass pan put in oven = easy dinner. Microwave some frozen spinach as a side dish and you are halfway to healthy.

[Anonymous]

Another thing you can do is start by asking him to help out with dinner - on the way from work ask him if he can put the chicken in the oven or get the lettuce out. Small steps first and then "forget" to get the chicken ready and ask him to do it.

Can your DH grill? My dh has a book from Men's Health "a Man, a Can, a Grill. There's 50 recipes and it shows pics of the ingredients and each recipe has some kind of canned item in it. For example, Balsamic Beer Beef - mix the beer, tomato sauce, balsamic vinegar and grilling blend. marinade the steaks and grill them. start simple. good luck.

This reminds me when we were little and my dad was trying to help out. The only thing he knew how to make was to put chicken drumsticks in the oven (salt, pepper, butter, paprika) and make soup from canned vegetables. He would literally boil 2 drumsticks (chicken broth) and dump couple cans of veggies. We still laugh about it, but at least he tried.

[Anonymous]

This was a huge issue for me, and still is ongoing. But DH has learned to cook, which is a major breakthrough. We've been married more than a decade though, and it took a loooooooooong time for DH to decide to learn to cook. He now cooks most meals. He likes doing it after work. I loathe daily cooking and love to cook all kinds of special things that kids won't eat.

Basically what it boiled down to is health. I talked with DH over and over, showed him research, went on and on and on and on about food until DH finally came over to my way of thinking. He did have a MAJOR health crisis (food related), so that contributed to his conversion.

Good luck, OP. It might have ended my marriage, so serious is this issue to me. BTW, my kids all cook. No way will I let a child of mine grow up without knowing how to prepare entire meals from scratch. DH's mom popped a pizzza into the oven or opened a box or can for dinner, and never even taught DH to boil water. Bad Mom!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the input.

We have Bittman books, but DH comes home too late to cook for the family (like, 8:30) and doesn't even grill. I don't want to "trick" him into cooking, I want DH to actually cook.

Grrrr...

[Anonymous]

If you are the foodie and he is not, I think asking him to cook is pushing it.

But asking him to eat foods in front of your child is not too much to ask. I simply pointed out to my husband that our child is learning from observation. Now we both force ourselves to take a few bites of food we don't like.

[Anonymous]

I want DH to actually cook.

Want away, but it isn't going to happen. I am the cook in our family. It would be nice if labor were divided more equally, I suppose, but I cook, he cleans up, and our children (all boys) are encouraged to learn. Oddly, the foodiest of my kids is the one least interested.

[Anonymous]

OP - I hate to cook. Absolutely hate it. When I dated my husband I made clear that I don't cook. I do try to cook a bit now - but if I could eat out every meal, I would be happy. Cooking just makes me unhappy. Half the time it comes out badly.

My husband has never pushed it. That has actually made me want to try at times. But, if I came home at 8:30 at night - the very last think I would ever want to try would be to cook. Can you focus instead on what your husband does do?

I would ask him to eat what you've cooked - at least try a couple of bites of each in order to be a good example to your child. I don't think that act is asking too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I hate to cook. Absolutely hate it. When I dated my husband I made clear that I don't cook. I do try to cook a bit now - but if I could eat out every meal, I would be happy. Cooking just makes me unhappy. Half the time it comes out badly.

My husband has never pushed it. That has actually made me want to try at times. But, if I came home at 8:30 at night - the very last think I would ever want to try would be to cook. Can you focus instead on what your husband does do?

I would ask him to eat what you've cooked - at least try a couple of bites of each in order to be a good example to your child. I don't think that act is asking too much.

Does your DH do the cooking in your house? Or do you just eat takeout all the time?

My SIL (who works 20 hours/week) doesn't cook, and my brother works very long hours. They have two children and they all seem to survive on takeout, prepared foods, and cereal. When I was visiting them recently, I bought some groceries and made scrambled eggs, bacon, cut-up fruit, & toast for my kids and their cousins (normal in our world). One of their cousins (age 15) commented that he had never had a cooked breakfast like that at home. He kept raving about it.

Sad.

[Anonymous]

I've had boyfriends who don't eat vegetables, ever. I have occasionally thanked my lucky stars that my daughter's dad is not one of those guys.

Thing is, OP, some people just don't want to cook. (Sometimes I'm one of them.) I think if you're set on your DC getting home-cooked meals, and especially if you typically get home before your husband does, the cooking is going to fall on you. Let him take the lead sometimes and order pizza or whatever on "Dad's Night." And you might need to strong-arm him into eating veggies in front of your child, so the kid doesn't say, "why should I eat beans? Dad doesn't." My daughter eats almost everything I eat because she's been exposed to it.

the hot breakfast story is funny. I almost never make a hot breakfast - I rarely have the ingredients at home. For me, breakfast is hot or cold cereal and maybe yogurt or sometimes a bagel. I like a hot lunch and a hot dinner, but we're usually in too much of a rush to do much in the way of cooking in the morning.