Why the conflict between older and younger women?

[Anonymous]

Spurred by the "cherish the moments" post I 'm really curious about this animosity between older and younger women. Why? What is to be lost or gained by the other? Why are the words and intentions of both so misunderstood by the other? Why do both seem unwilling to cede any ground to the other? Why the anger and name calling? Is it a mother/daughter dynamic still playing out? Is it competition for social resources? Is it lack of power in the larger culture causing the squabbles amongst them? It is really fascinating. I had no idea the animus was as deep as it apparently is.

[Anonymous]

Is it? I've never seen it in real life, and I don't assume that people posting nasty crap on this board are representative.

[Anonymous]

It must be who you're hanging out with. What you see online is not real life. In real life, I'm in my 30's and friends with people from age 17 to late 80's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it? I've never seen it in real life, and I don't assume that people posting nasty crap on this board are representative.

+1, I only see it get nasty when the people involved are strangers on the internet (here, reddit, twitter). IRL there are some differences of opinion that sometimes lead to conflict (particularly between parents and THEIR parents) but it's not nasty and mean. And it's often more about personal things (like an adult daughter parenting differently than her mom did and then her mom feeling judged for the way she raised her daughter, which is very specific to that relationship) as opposed to a generational divide.

[Anonymous]

I don't care what age or gender you are, or whether you are a total stranger or a friend/family member: I don't appreciate unsolicited advice. It has nothing to do with "older women and younger women" and everything to do with...I'm just not going to play into the whole tolerant, indulgent and deferential woman thing.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I think women often have a tough time with one another. There's always some divide. I think the same qualities that make some women excellent caregivers also leads some women to feel insecure, frequently have hurt feelings, and be judgmental of other women.

[Anonymous]

This isn't something that plays out in real life the way it does online.

If an older woman pulls the "just you wait" routine with me out in public, I'll give her a bland, completely disinterested smile and move on with my day.

If that same woman mopes on DCUM about some young mom who was cold to her today, I'll tell her directly that "just you wait" isn't a great way to start a conversation with someone they don't know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it? I've never seen it in real life, and I don't assume that people posting nasty crap on this board are representative.

This. Its a weird online phenomenon that have not experienced in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This isn't something that plays out in real life the way it does online.

If an older woman pulls the "just you wait" routine with me out in public, I'll give her a bland, completely disinterested smile and move on with my day.

If that same woman mopes on DCUM about some young mom who was cold to her today, I'll tell her directly that "just you wait" isn't a great way to start a conversation with someone they don't know.

+1

Someone on that thread lambasted younger moms for not just smiling and moving on, and I responded that's what the vast majority of "younger" moms on that thread likely do IRL. But this forum is anonymous, and when you start a thread about how you don't like that interaction, those of us who agree will chime in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it? I've never seen it in real life, and I don't assume that people posting nasty crap on this board are representative.

This. Its a weird online phenomenon that have not experienced in real life.

Agree, that’s why I found it so curious so the question is, is this online dialogue reflective of real feelings that people don’t feel safe expressing socially or publicly or is it just some digital cosplay? Of course recognizing the inevitable online skew of a self selected group of people, some of whom just like to fight because there is also real, genuine kindness and empathy here. I should probably sign up for some digital sociology class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care what age or gender you are, or whether you are a total stranger or a friend/family member: I don't appreciate unsolicited advice. It has nothing to do with "older women and younger women" and everything to do with...I'm just not going to play into the whole tolerant, indulgent and deferential woman thing.

I guess you are the younger woman who hates her MIL? LOL!

[Anonymous]

Its mostly a WASP phenomenon. No one talks about it but the angry young White woman is a real thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its mostly a WASP phenomenon. No one talks about it but the angry young White woman is a real thing.

Why do you think that is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This isn't something that plays out in real life the way it does online.

If an older woman pulls the "just you wait" routine with me out in public, I'll give her a bland, completely disinterested smile and move on with my day.

If that same woman mopes on DCUM about some young mom who was cold to her today, I'll tell her directly that "just you wait" isn't a great way to start a conversation with someone they don't know.

And as an older women who used to be a younger woman, I wouldn't dare. I agree with you, PP.

[Anonymous]

My adult daughters and their GF’s are great and we never have a conflict. I only offer advice when asked and even then I’m careful how I express it. It also helps that I’m quite progressive as are they.