Visitors after c-section?
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Anonymous
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When did you feel up for entertaining visitors after your c-section?
We have family who are trying to invite themselves to town after my planned c-section with #2. Unfortunately, they are not the kind of people who will help me do anything, will expect the have meals provided etc (it is what it is, not looking for opinions on this!!). I am thinking at least eight weeks, but am getting pushback. When did you feel ready for these kinds of visitors? |
Anonymous
| With COVID and with the fact that they will expect to be served, eight weeks would be the soonest. Stand firm. |
Anonymous
| 2 1/2 weeks but that was just my mom and grandmother. My sister and father met baby when he was 4 weeks and then my husbands mom and grandfather came from out of state (4.5 hour drive) when he was 10 weeks. |
Anonymous
| Yes, eight weeks is absolutely reasonable. Tell them no. Be firm. Have your husband run interference. Lock your door. Seriously, lock your door. I only gave birth naturally and even with that ONLY had visitors who were actually helpful. Friends came and stayed at most, two hours and all did actual helpful things like emptying the dishwasher, cutting up fruit, making me food, folding laundry, emptying the trash, etc. Didn't have overnight visitors until after two weeks and then it was people who also actively helped or took care of themselves (really, just my husband's parents). |
Anonymous
| Why don’t you let them come but ask that they stay elsewhere? That’s entirely reasonable. The only person I really felt comfortable staying with us - especially after my first - was my mom. If you’re BFing it’s boobs out all day everyday and I don’t think the postpartum woman should be the one to have to go elsewhere to feed her kid…which is all the time the first couple months. |
Anonymous
| Nope. No visitors. Especially those who expect to waited on. They can wait 8 weeks minimum. |
Anonymous
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I wanted to have visitors in my hospital room shortly after the birth - I felt euphoric and the drugs were still going strong, LOL. But, once home, I did not want anybody. We did not have visitors of any kind (including helpful ones) for 2 weeks after coming home.
If these visitors of yours will be inconsiderate, then certainly they should not come before 8 weeks. Possibly not even then. Whenever you do have them come, they should stop by to coo at the baby and then your DH can take them out to a restaurant (with or without you, your option). No new parents should be cooking for guests. Good luck! |
Anonymous
Oh hell no. They would just hang out at the house all day. |
Anonymous
So they sleep at a hotel and come over in the morning and say "OP, what time is breakfast?" and when OP says she's nursing the baby but they should help themselves their response is "This is how you treat guests? After I traveled this far to see you? You could have at least made coffee, put out bagels and fruit and such." Then they make a mess in the kitchen, break a mug, leave cream cheese out for hours so it spoils, leave crumbs all over, drop blueberries on the couch and squish them in so they stain, etc. THEN it's ... lunch time! Ask me why I know how this story goes. No visitors. |
Anonymous
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My second was born in peak Covid and we had no visitors and it was amazing. We just chilled and watched netflix and ordered takeout
So much better than the revolving door of people we had w/my first. |
Anonymous
| Also had a c section back in April. I’d say minimally 10-12 weeks! At 8 weeks I was still dragging and it was hard. I was lucky to feed myself and baby let alone take care of anyone else. |
Anonymous
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you have to remember that a C-section is major surgery and not really "normal" in the sense of giving birth.
It's really hard because again after you've had MAJOR surgery, there is the baby to be cared for and nursed, and if you have a toddler they want to climb all over you and be picked up etc bc their mommy-territory is suddenly threatened by the baby... It's truly exhausting. I'm unclear from you OP if they want to stay with you, so, if that's the case, I'd put my foot down and say no. Not anymore. Your family is too big now. Time for them to grow up and get a hotel. If the issue is them just coming to town and staying in a hotel, then I'm a little more unclear. They can do things without you; they don't need a tour guide and someone to pay for everything. OP, make your stand (your boundaries) now, because you have a great excuse. |
Anonymous
LOL, yes, risk the lives of those bringing your food so you can laze around and "stay safe". DC never ceases to amaze me. |
Anonymous
....never. I dont host until I feel up to it and its on my terms. When you go somewhere else you can leave when you are ready. Hosting relies too much on others peoples good manners and being aware of other people/schedules/routines. |
Anonymous
How can you accuse a new parent of lazing around? And what exactly is wrong with availing yourself of business services that are open, available, and struggling? |