Do they hate me?

[Anonymous]

I have been with my partner for 12 years and we have a child together. He also has dc's with his ew wife. When we attend functions with his extended family, I often overhear his cousins asking the dc's about their mother. They also tell the dc's to let their mother know they asked about her. Am I being overly sensitive in thinking this is a dig at me?

[Anonymous]

Likely they loved her. She was in their life. They are allowed to care. Them caring about her and being sad that she is less-in-their-life now, is not a dig at you. Not unless you were The Other Woman (please, tell us you were NOT The Other Woman!)

[Anonymous]

It's not a dig at you. I have kids, and am a stepmother. WHen we get together with his family they ask my stepkids after their mother. Because she's their mother. It has nothing to do with me.

[Anonymous]

Did you have any role in breaking up the marriage? Is the extended family nice to you?

[Anonymous]

Totally over sensitive. She is still a part of the family and your existence and child doesn’t write her out. It’s wonderful that they care about her.

[Anonymous]

No, it's very sweet. You should make sure the message is sent, OP.

[Anonymous]

This is about the cousins' positive memories and feelings about the ex-wife and not a dig at you. They probably interacted with her when they were young so of course they wonder how she is doing and send her their best, since she is no longer a presence in their life.

[Anonymous]

Yikes! How can you make this caring moment you OVERHEAR between others something made intentional against YOU? Probably the family is saying that to show the kids they care about their mother, or they genuinely are interested in her wellbeing. Whatever it is, your reaction is toxic

[Anonymous]

What the heck?! OP, that is not about you. Not everything is about you. Their mom is important to those kids. People who care about them are showing them their mom is liked and remembered. That must feel really good to them. (I say this as a child of divorce.) Please don’t be so insecure.

[Anonymous]

How does asking children about the well-being of their mother equate to hating you?

This is such a bizarre overreaction to something completely normal and warranted, that I wonder what the real story is about may hate you.

[Anonymous]

Were you the Other Woman? It is relevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What the heck?! OP, that is not about you. Not everything is about you. Their mom is important to those kids. People who care about them are showing them their mom is liked and remembered. That must feel really good to them. (I say this as a child of divorce.) Please don’t be so insecure.

I agree. OP it is about making the kids feel good.

[Anonymous]

Not a dig at you. Just not tactful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What the heck?! OP, that is not about you. Not everything is about you. Their mom is important to those kids. People who care about them are showing them their mom is liked and remembered. That must feel really good to them. (I say this as a child of divorce.) Please don’t be so insecure.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been with my partner for 12 years and we have a child together. He also has dc's with his ew wife. When we attend functions with his extended family, I often overhear his cousins asking the dc's about their mother. They also tell the dc's to let their mother know they asked about her. Am I being overly sensitive in thinking this is a dig at me?

Never get involved with a divorced person if they have children.