Do you ever step in and physically help another child at the park?

[Anonymous]

Or any other setting with other kids? I’m a nanny but wanted a parents perspective. Fairly often I’ll be at the park or a play area with my nanny kids and they’ll befriend similarly aged children. Usually the parent/caregiver will be present and engaged but sometimes the mom/nanny/grandparent won’t be around or will be ignoring the child. The child kind of ends up following us around which is fine, my nanny kids love making friends. But I’m not sure how to handle when the child asks for help with certain take. Like swinging? Do I lift someone else’s child up and put them in the swing? I have before, I’ll ask caregiver if they’re around but sometimes I can’t even identify who they are or they’ll be on the other side of the park not paying attention. I’ve never had any negative reactions and a few “thanks” in the past. I’ve helped kids tie shoes, button up play clothes at children museums. I obviously don’t help them do anything dangerous (not lifting up anyones kid on the monkey bars or on big playground equipment so they fans get hurt) or cross obvious boundaries like bathroom help (although I’ve had kids ask me for help because they can’t find their caregiver, in which case I just help them look.)

This comes natural to me because I’m already caring for someone else’s kid but at the same time it feels awkward and I never want to interact with someone else’s kid if they don’t want too. My boss was at the park with us recently and a child came up to play and I helped them them cross over the barrier to the sandbox and later she told me I “probably shouldn’t interact” with other children. But she’s kind of bizarre in general, so not sure if that’s the norm.

I know other nannies who kind of do the same as me, but curious about other parents. What do you do if a child is playing with you your child and they ask for assistance with something small? Tying shoes? What about something big? Help them drink out of the water fountain?

Thanks for the feedback.

[Anonymous]

I would be (and have been) extremely appreciative when a nanny or another mom helps my child.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I did this when my kids were young.

[Anonymous]

No I wouldn't put a random child in a swing and push them or tie their shoes - but kids don't ask me to do those things. I would of course help them if they are lost, and I have intervened when a kid was stuck on a climbing structure and calling for help.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I do this sometimes. Nothing super extended but I've helped a kid who is stuck on a ladder or seems like they might be about to fall off something high. Redirected a toddler wandering into the "swing zone," that type of thing. I've also helped parents - seeing a little boy grabbing himself and asking "do you need to go potty?" so dad notices and gets him to a tree in time.

I have also seen a super mom pull out a first aid kid and clean up a kid who cut himself - that kid's parents weren't there, but I'd be surprised and confused if they were bothered that someone else applied the bandaid.

[Anonymous]

I had a woman dive into a pool once to rescue my toddler. He was supposed to be getting out and I turned my back for a second to tend to his baby sister when his friend pushed him back into the water and he was suddenly over his head. It happened so fast and I just saw a streak out of the corner of my eye of the stranger jumping in as I was turning to see where he was. I felt so stupid but was so appreciative. It just all happened so fast.

I have tied shoes, offered bandaids, given Kleenex, etc as needed. And other people have helped my kids. What comes around goes around.

[Anonymous]

Tie shoes yes
Put on swing and push no

[Anonymous]

If it's a safety thing (about to fall or get hit by a swing) absolutely.

If it's something I can do in a hands off way (tie a shoe, retrieve something out of reach, pushing a bunch of kids on a soccer swing where I'm only touching the swing) I'll do a quick scan to see if their adult is nearby and could do it. If no one is around to help them, then I do. If I find a child who is lost or crying I will help them find their adult.

I don't usually help with things that involve me picking up, or otherwise touching a kid I don't know unless I get an obvious OK from their caregiver. With my kids friends, I'll push them on the swings or help them jump down from a height, etc.

Caveat, I'm a woman. I think men are often more reluctant to help because they worry about bing accused of doing something inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t put a kid on a swing, but the rest sounds fine. Actually the sandbox seems a little iffy, if the kid was too small to climb into it himself, maybe the parent didn’t want them to get all covered with sand? But I’m having a hard time picturing a sand box on the other side of a barrier.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but I'm someone who kids definitely approach and ask to help with things. I put it down to being pretty short for an adult and therefore seeming approachable to stranger kids.

[Anonymous]

I agree with a lot of posters on here. I don’t mind if an adult helps my kid when she asks (which is very rare). What I do mind is adults helping when she doesn’t need help. She’s very petite and I think adults think she can’t handle whatever she’s trying. One guy tried to lift her off something and I said no she’ll figure it out. That’s what I want her to do. But if she asks for help getting on a swing? Sure.

[Anonymous]

Yes I have.
Also dispensed bandaids.

Never did swings
Climbing structures, yet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t put a kid on a swing, but the rest sounds fine. Actually the sandbox seems a little iffy, if the kid was too small to climb into it himself, maybe the parent didn’t want them to get all covered with sand? But I’m having a hard time picturing a sand box on the other side of a barrier.

it's a sand BOX, the side of the box is the barrier.

[Anonymous]

Sure, it takes a village, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure, it takes a village, right?

+1 and this is the world I want to live in so I create it by helping others.