Sibling bedsharing

[Anonymous]

I have 2 boys; 5 and almost 3. They currently share a room and a full sized bed. We started out with a toddler bed and the full but the 2y/o would always end up in bed with his big brother so we took the toddler bed out. When asked if they would like separate beds, both kids are against the idea.

My question is, is the older kid getting too old for this? He’s entering kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

No, it's totally fine until they ask for it not to be.

Maybe in a year or two when the little one is safe, get a twin over full bunk bed and then if one of them wants to go elsewhere there's a choice and they still have as much floor space. I wouldn't do that with a 3 year old though. That's what we did.

[Anonymous]

My two kids have their own rooms, each with a bunk bed (total of 4 bed) and still often slept in the same bed for years beyond that. We called it sleepovers and they loved it. Why are you thinking one is too old? What Harm are you seeing? I’d let it continue until one said no. Now my kids are preteen and early teen and they usually choose to sleep in one room (separate beds though).

[Anonymous]

OP I don’t see any harm in it, I just wasn’t really sure if it was something that was done. Mom and MIL find it strange and we’ve gotten some eye rolls from them but I also think it’s fine. Planning on moving them to a bunk or 2 twins when they are ready.

[Anonymous]

Not weird to me at all, as long as everyone is getting good quality sleep. My kids (6yo DD, 4yo DS) have their own beds but end up in the same bed at least half of the time. I think it’s sweet (and know those days are numbered)

[Anonymous]

I've been a nanny for 20 years and many many siblings bed share. It's much more common than you would think.

[Anonymous]

Another nanny here. 4th grader and twin K spent 1/2 of the year in the same full size bed last year. The other half was just the twins together. One doesn't care, the other can't sleep without someone in the room and preferably in the same bed with her.

[Anonymous]

They will tell you when they are too old.

[Anonymous]

Not weird at all. Why do your moms think it’s weird?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They will tell you when they are too old.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not weird at all. Why do your moms think it’s weird?

OP. I’m not entirely sure, they haven’t given specific reasons, just make comments like “why don’t they have their own beds”, “shouldn’t they have their own beds”, “maybe I’ll get the boys their own beds for Christmas”. There is almost the insinuation that it’s not fair or that they share a bed or that it’s due to cost (not the case and pretty ridiculous given that this would be a relatively very minor expense). Also comments directed to the older child along the lines of “don’t you want to sleep in your own bed, your a big boy now”. It’s odd.

From the sound of the above comments it’s not that strange of a set up. Will continue doing it until one or both of them express interest in switching things up.

[Anonymous]

My six and four year old have this set up and happily still share a full bed. When we finally switch it up it will likely be to bunk beds just because they are "cool" according to the kids.

[Anonymous]

Sounds so normal and very nice for them.

[Anonymous]

Outlier here but I think it’s a little weird. Maybe once in awhile like a sleepover or if one winds up in the other’s bed bc of a bad dream but I think it’s odd to have two kids share a full bed. Guess in minority here but whatever. Do what works for you!

[Anonymous]

I think this is 100% fine, and will admit that my kids often have "sleepovers" with one in a twin and one in the trundle even though they have their own beds and rooms.

If you are at all concerned, I'd get a twin over full bunk bed and have the upper bunk as an option for the older child if they feel like they need some space, or for both of them to use as a fun pirate outpost.