11 year-old son self-conscious about big butt

[Anonymous]

My son is 11. He's got a somewhat stocky frame but he's not overweight however his bum and thighs are huge. I've seen him standing next to his friends and it sticks out. I understand each kid grows at a different rate but it's like all the fat went straight to his buttocks. A boy in his class teased him about it. Recently he complained to me that an older kid at school had slapped it. Now he's complaining that he has a 'girl's butt' and he hates it.

I'm stuck on how to address this without making it a big deal
Is this a genetics thing? He's mixed and probably takes after me more than his father in the looks department.

[Anonymous]

One of my kids is into basketball and there are several really great basketball kids with "big butts." They sort of lean forward, like they're split between their top half and their bottom half. You can tell these kids are going to be tall.

Maybe your DS's big butt and thighs mean he has big muscles and will be tall.

[Anonymous]

Better than no butt. It will be good when he gets to college

[Anonymous]

He will grow into his butt

[Anonymous]

Teach him to have better posture and it's less noticeable. Also teach him to dress him in a way that minimizes it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teach him to have better posture and it's less noticeable. Also teach him to dress him in a way that minimizes it

Posture is something I've mentioned. But I guess jeans are out of the question now...

[Anonymous]

The kid who slapped him should be punished for sexual harassment. That’s hideous behavior. I feel sorry for your kid who’s being bullied. I have 2 gorgeous girls who have been bullied for a big nose (it’s not really bad at all) and bushy eyebrows (we got them waxes). Kids are so cruel at this age. Is there a sport he likes that can build his self esteem? Like others I’m sure he will grow into his butt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The kid who slapped him should be punished for sexual harassment. That’s hideous behavior. I feel sorry for your kid who’s being bullied. I have 2 gorgeous girls who have been bullied for a big nose (it’s not really bad at all) and bushy eyebrows (we got them waxes). Kids are so cruel at this age. Is there a sport he likes that can build his self esteem? Like others I’m sure he will grow into his butt.

Yes, that kid in question should have been disciplined but the school admin is pretty ineffective and I think he prefers if I don't make a 'big deal' out of it (i.e he is embarrassed and just wants no attention brought to it which just makes it harder for me) As for a sport I'm guessing football or soccer but I need to look into that more.

[Anonymous]

My DH has a big bubble butt. Former ski racer. He’s in denial and often buys pants that give him a giant wedgie and sit a little too low because they get pulled out by his butt. Big picture: the only impact on his adult life is that his wife has to screen his pants purchases so his coworkers don’t name him Wedgie Man behind his back.

I’m sorry your son is being teased.

[Anonymous]

I remember a couple of boys at my school having big butts in middle school, but by the time they finished high school at 18 they had grown a lot taller and they grew into their butts! I'm sorry if your kid is being teased OP. I would try and reassure him that there is nothing wrong with his body shape and let the school know if the teasing gets worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teach him to have better posture and it's less noticeable. Also teach him to dress him in a way that minimizes it

Posture is something I've mentioned. But I guess jeans are out of the question now...

Not out of the question but you might need to buy them to fit his butt and have them tailored so they fit properly overall. That's probably what you'll have to do with most pants. Also go with longer shirts and top layers like hoodies to add bulk overall and even things out.

Eventually he should grow into it but that pasture will really make a difference. They sell belt type things to improve posture. Lifting weights or job that involves lifting with upper body when he's old enough will help posture and add bulk on top to even out proportions.

[Anonymous]

Are we talking super muscular glutes/butt sticks out from legs and back when viewed from the side? That plus muscular thighs=lots of athletic potential, and he should throw himself into sports he enjoys. He’ll come to appreciate his body when he sees how it can help him perform well. Flat butt with wide hips is tougher, but everyone has things that they don’t like about their bodies and he should still focus on what useful things his body can do.

I’m so, so sorry to hear he was bullied at school. Kids can be such nasty little sh*ts.

[Anonymous]

My early twenties year son has a big but and thighs. He is also 6 foot 2, handsome, smart, funny and treats women well. He has a stunningly beautiful girlfriend, great friends and a job he loves. He is careful to dress and groom himself well, and lifts weight to build his upper body and balance things out as much as he can.

[Anonymous]

My son has a bubble butt. He’s mentioned it a few times and others have mentioned it and teased him a bit. He’s an athlete, though, and we’ve told him that is where his muscle is - and it’s why he can jump and pitch so well. Baseball recruiters actually talk about a “pitching butt”. He doesn’t feel self conscious about it any more (he’s now in high school).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are we talking super muscular glutes/butt sticks out from legs and back when viewed from the side? That plus muscular thighs=lots of athletic potential, and he should throw himself into sports he enjoys. He’ll come to appreciate his body when he sees how it can help him perform well. Flat butt with wide hips is tougher, but everyone has things that they don’t like about their bodies and he should still focus on what useful things his body can do.

I’m so, so sorry to hear he was bullied at school. Kids can be such nasty little sh*ts.

Yes, he's got that sort of frame. Based on these responses, I should be encouraging him to pick up one of the big sports but I just hope his confidence can be improved.