Group exercise and fitness instructors, am I wrong? AITA?

[Anonymous]

There's a class at my gym that I LOVE. Due to changes in my work schedule, I have not been able to go for some time. I now have a break and can go on this day/time regularly. Like most people, I have a preferred spot, and I like it for various reasons. But I wholly understand that it is not "my" spot and I do not own it. If someone else is there before I get there? Totally cool, I go somewhere else and give them space.

But for the most part, I try to arrive to this class early. Like a lot of people, I put my water bottle and towel down in my (empty) spot and make small talk with others. I do not wander far, maybe 2-4 feet away.

The past several times, an older woman comes in and stands like a statue about 4" from my water bottle. At first, I moved and let her have it.

But now, I'm tired of this. And I don't wander away. I've been a pushover and people pleaser for most of my life, but lately I've grown so tired of accommodating others, especially if I feel they're rude. And I reclaim my spot even if she walks in and stands right next to me.

Am I the ahole? Am I wrong? Am I being too strict with 'first come first serve?'

[Anonymous]

No you are fine. It is first come first serve.

[Anonymous]

No, just ignore her.

[Anonymous]

It’s not your spot anymore sweetheart. Find a new spot or get there early and stay exactly where you want to be and stop wandering off.

[Anonymous]

It's not your spot. Stay in your spot if you want it so bad.

It sounds like the room isn't big enough for all the participants. Rather than blame this lady, complain to the facility or organizer - enforce the number of people who participate.

[Anonymous]

If you want the spot that badly, then stay there until the class starts instead of "calling dibs" with your water bottle.

[Anonymous]

My gym has you reserve the spot for the class on the app. But still people take spots. Sometimes people will show the spot stealers on their phone that the spot is theirs or they just move. But the instructors hate squabbles about spots so don’t go to them for help.

[Anonymous]

Is this a class that uses a mat? Usually if you put your mat down and put your stuff on it, that’s enough to claim it, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a class that uses a mat? Usually if you put your mat down and put your stuff on it, that’s enough to claim it, no?

Even if the class doesn't use mats, people use mats to reserve spots at my gym. Often times 1-2 people will reserve 1/3 of the gym for their friends. It gets annoying, but what can you do?

[Anonymous]

OP here. This is not a class with a mat. And while I have wandered within arm's length distance away, I'm there and close. It's not like someone reserved the spot for me (which I think is a crappy move). You'd have to be a real jerk to take someone's spot if they ran to the bathroom or fill their water bottle, when they were clearly present.

And the room is plenty big enough. I get it, we like the same spot. But there's more than enough space for people to go elsewhere if someone was there first.

[Anonymous]

If the normal practice in the class is to mark your spot with your towel and water bottle, then you are fine, and this lady needs to get over herself.

[Anonymous]

Starting next time, just stay in your spot. Sit and stretch. Take up space; no need to wonder around.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried making small talk with her? And why does she need to be described as an “older” woman? Would you say “this *insert minority/fat/ugly* woman”? If not, check your bias, talk to her, and build a bridge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not your spot anymore sweetheart. Find a new spot or get there early and stay exactly where you want to be and stop wandering off.

It’s not the old lady’s spot either. “Sweetie”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Starting next time, just stay in your spot. Sit and stretch. Take up space; no need to wonder around.

This is the answer.