Playdate gone wrong?

[Anonymous]

We got our son together with his two cousins who he hasn’t seen in a while.

After some pizza and cupcakes, they played together in a loud and rowdy way in our basement play area. No big deal.

My SIL told me that one of her sons is having severe behavioral issues, including hitting a teacher at school, going to detention and also saying violent language intending to harm himself.

Her other son recently was tested for autism but it was ruled out. However, he recently began taking ADHD medication that seems to be helping.

After they left, my son’s rowdy behavior continued and he screamed in my husband’s face when he told him to stop what he was doing and start getting ready for bed. My son never screams in anyone’s face.

Did these boys rub off on my son in a negative way and should I halt the play dates? Or should I chalk it up to just general boy rowdiness?

They are cousins so I can’t cut off their relationship and don’t intend to. But what I heard and saw tonight frightens me.

[Anonymous]

You sound very much like a troll, hitting all the right notes (ADHD meds, autism, boys at play, naive mother, etc).


He was over-excited. It happens.

Also, you don't just hand out ADHD medication like candy. They're a controlled substance. There's got to be a diagnosis of ADHD. Your SIL isn't telling you everything. I know this because I know lots of kids with ADHD, my son included, and we've all had to jump through hoops to get the correct diagnosis and treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound very much like a troll, hitting all the right notes (ADHD meds, autism, boys at play, naive mother, etc).


He was over-excited. It happens.

Also, you don't just hand out ADHD medication like candy. They're a controlled substance. There's got to be a diagnosis of ADHD. Your SIL isn't telling you everything. I know this because I know lots of kids with ADHD, my son included, and we've all had to jump through hoops to get the correct diagnosis and treatment.

The boy has adhd and this is the first time he has taken medication for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We got our son together with his two cousins who he hasn’t seen in a while.

After some pizza and cupcakes, they played together in a loud and rowdy way in our basement play area. No big deal.

My SIL told me that one of her sons is having severe behavioral issues, including hitting a teacher at school, going to detention and also saying violent language intending to harm himself.

Her other son recently was tested for autism but it was ruled out. However, he recently began taking ADHD medication that seems to be helping.

After they left, my son’s rowdy behavior continued and he screamed in my husband’s face when he told him to stop what he was doing and start getting ready for bed. My son never screams in anyone’s face.

Did these boys rub off on my son in a negative way and should I halt the play dates? Or should I chalk it up to just general boy rowdiness?

They are cousins so I can’t cut off their relationship and don’t intend to. But what I heard and saw tonight frightens me.

Next time I would supervise more. (I don’t mean that in a snarky way as my kids play mostly alone downstairs when friends are over.) That way you can intervene when things start to get roudy.

[Anonymous]

*rowdy

[Anonymous]

You fed them pizza and cupcakes and they were confined to the play area...next time funnel the pizza power and sugar rush outside.

As for the sassyness, eh, he imitated what he heard , but it doesn't mean it's permanent. Plus, he might have been tired and just overall grouchy and not himself.
Did you and dh tell him it's not acceptable? Not the tone to use? Remind him of house rules?
Let it go.

Reset button. Tomorrow is a new day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You fed them pizza and cupcakes and they were confined to the play area...next time funnel the pizza power and sugar rush outside.

As for the sassyness, eh, he imitated what he heard , but it doesn't mean it's permanent. Plus, he might have been tired and just overall grouchy and not himself.
Did you and dh tell him it's not acceptable? Not the tone to use? Remind him of house rules?
Let it go.

Reset button. Tomorrow is a new day.

“Sugar rush” is an outdated myth, granny.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/medical-myths-does-sugar-make-children-hyperactive#Sugar-and-hyperactivity-in-children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You fed them pizza and cupcakes and they were confined to the play area...next time funnel the pizza power and sugar rush outside.

As for the sassyness, eh, he imitated what he heard , but it doesn't mean it's permanent. Plus, he might have been tired and just overall grouchy and not himself.
Did you and dh tell him it's not acceptable? Not the tone to use? Remind him of house rules?
Let it go.

Reset button. Tomorrow is a new day.

“Sugar rush” is an outdated myth, granny.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/medical-myths-does-sugar-make-children-hyperactive#Sugar-and-hyperactivity-in-children

^^You're missing the point.

Besides, it's not meant literally

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You fed them pizza and cupcakes and they were confined to the play area...next time funnel the pizza power and sugar rush outside.

As for the sassyness, eh, he imitated what he heard , but it doesn't mean it's permanent. Plus, he might have been tired and just overall grouchy and not himself.
Did you and dh tell him it's not acceptable? Not the tone to use? Remind him of house rules?
Let it go.

Reset button. Tomorrow is a new day.

“Sugar rush” is an outdated myth, granny.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/medical-myths-does-sugar-make-children-hyperactive#Sugar-and-hyperactivity-in-children

Feeding kids to give them an energy boost, then keeping them inside has never been a good idea. Whether they had anything sugary or not is irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

What exactly frightened you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What exactly frightened you?

The fact that one of the cousins hit his teacher.

This signals some unpredictability to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly frightened you?

The fact that one of the cousins hit his teacher.

This signals some unpredictability to me.

And how is that related to your son shouting rudely? Draw the line for me bc I don’t see it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly frightened you?

The fact that one of the cousins hit his teacher.

This signals some unpredictability to me.

And how is that related to your son shouting rudely? Draw the line for me bc I don’t see it.

This child has some major behavioral issues.

He was playing with my son yesterday, at times aggressively. He also knocked over a vase, apparently by accident, and nearly threw a tantrum when he was told it was time to go home.

I noticed my son acting out and yelling after they left. He never yells at us, ever.

[Anonymous]

First of all, you don't know how lucky you are. Seriously.

Second, it is true, other kids' behavior does rub off on ours, but it's not permanent. Your DS was overexcited and overstimulated.

In the future, I'd consider how much I care about my kid having a family relationship with their cousins.

Please also consider that as your kid gets older, he will choose who to interact with more, and you will not be able to prevent him from those you consider bad influences.

Finally, it is possible that the cousins will grow out of some of their behaviors, and will end up as awesome teens/adults. It happens.

(And yes, my kids have a cousin just like this, minus the diagnoses. I feel you.)

[Anonymous]

Are you the same poster who started a thread awhile back about NT kids playing with SN kids?