Big drinkers: what's good hosting vs. beyond typical?

[Anonymous]

My ILs are big drinkers, at least around us--both at our home and when we visit them or we see them at family gatherings. "Cocktail hour" every night with 1-3 drinks each, and always wine or beer with dinner. FIL drinks at least a beer at lunch, if not two.

We prepare for their arrival by buying plenty of groceries to make meals and have snacks on hand we know they like. We also go to the liquor store and stock up.

More and more, DH and I find ourselves going back to the liquor store once or twice during their visits. We do drink, but not a lot, so we have some items in our bar/wine cabinet, but we don't drink as much or the same amount as they do. I know what kind of wines they like to go with what kind of meal, and even the kind of cocktails they prefer in summer vs. winter.

This last visit, I didn't lose my patience in any way they could see, but man, I'm kind of over it. In four nights, they chugged their way through seven bottles of wine (DH and I only had one glass each on two of the nights), FIL went through TWO six-packs of beer, and they drank all of the gin and tonic we had on hand, as well as some Jack Daniels left over from a visit from my dad. When FIL realized I was going back to the liquor store, he asked for an expensive Scotch, with no offer to pay. They also never bring so much as a bottle of wine.

At what point is it "being a good host" versus footing a high bill for big drinkers? We always bring a bottle of wine when we see them and never drink them dry. Is this excessive? Should we just say oh well when they drink it all? They know how to find a liquor store in our town.

[Anonymous]

Stop supplying these alcoholics with that much alcohol. It's insane and not normal.

[Anonymous]

Stock what you think is appropriate. For a four-night visit that includes four adults, buy four bottles of wine, one six-pack of beer, one bottle of gin, one bottle of tonic water, and four limes.

If they ask for more, say "We like Smith's Liquors on Broadway. It's right by the CVS, you won't miss it."

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me like they've worked up a tolerance and habit over the years. I know that I find that I can (unlike some people) drink a lot more wine now than I could 20 yrs ago. No idea why. Not saying I drink like that all the time or like your inlaws, just doesn't seem to impact me much, especially with food and over the course of time. So they likely don't notice it and are drnking alcohol the way some drinking any beverage.

However, the way they are going about it is rude. It has nothing to do with it being alcohol and everything to do with being gracious guests. You don't go stay with someone and insist on filet and lobster, and eat them out of house and home either. Buy or bring your own.

If I were you I would just buy what you're comfortable providing, and once that is gone, just say sorry you're out. They can get more, or not.

[Anonymous]

I’d buy two boxes of wine at Trader Joe’s and call it a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stock what you think is appropriate. For a four-night visit that includes four adults, buy four bottles of wine, one six-pack of beer, one bottle of gin, one bottle of tonic water, and four limes.

If they ask for more, say "We like Smith's Liquors on Broadway. It's right by the CVS, you won't miss it."

You don't sound like a wine drinker. A bottle a night for four people is little more than a glass per person. In most cases, with a standard sized bottle and a standard sized pour, you should get about 5 glasses of wine out of a bottle. That's really limiting someone. I'm not even a huge drinker and I generally have more than one glass of wine if I'm going to drink wine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stock what you think is appropriate. For a four-night visit that includes four adults, buy four bottles of wine, one six-pack of beer, one bottle of gin, one bottle of tonic water, and four limes.

If they ask for more, say "We like Smith's Liquors on Broadway. It's right by the CVS, you won't miss it."

But do this early in the day. Grandpa doesn't need to be on the road after lunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stock what you think is appropriate. For a four-night visit that includes four adults, buy four bottles of wine, one six-pack of beer, one bottle of gin, one bottle of tonic water, and four limes.

If they ask for more, say "We like Smith's Liquors on Broadway. It's right by the CVS, you won't miss it."

You don't sound like a wine drinker. A bottle a night for four people is little more than a glass per person. In most cases, with a standard sized bottle and a standard sized pour, you should get about 5 glasses of wine out of a bottle. That's really limiting someone. I'm not even a huge drinker and I generally have more than one glass of wine if I'm going to drink wine.

LOL at "limiting someone" who has already had, as OP mentioned, 1 to *3* cocktails at 5. If you have two gin and tonics you don't need a half-bottle of wine, for real. Especially if you had beer at lunch. And OP also said she and her husband don't drink every night, and when they do, it's one glass.

[Anonymous]

For beer and wine - agree they have built up a tolerance but I would probably do a bottle of wine a night, and a couple six packs. If that runs out, they are free to go to the store and As for liquor, anything that was close to being out, I would restocked, otherwise, what you have at home is what is available. Again if they need more they are free to go to the store.

tbh I would be judgmental and say that I wasn't expecting excess drinking and was expecting good manners and for them to know that they don't finish everything the host sets out instead leaving something instead for the host and they take what is served and not demand that they be given more.

[Anonymous]

This is a DH problem to take up with his parents. Can you keep everyone busy out of the house so cocktail time is 30 minutes while the rice is cooking?

[Anonymous]

One bottle of wine a night, one six pack of beer, and whatever liquor you have in your cabinet. Buy a few fresh mixers and garnishes if you and DH like limes or cherries or whatever. To drink more than that would be absurd, and they can support their own excessive habits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stock what you think is appropriate. For a four-night visit that includes four adults, buy four bottles of wine, one six-pack of beer, one bottle of gin, one bottle of tonic water, and four limes.

If they ask for more, say "We like Smith's Liquors on Broadway. It's right by the CVS, you won't miss it."

You don't sound like a wine drinker. A bottle a night for four people is little more than a glass per person. In most cases, with a standard sized bottle and a standard sized pour, you should get about 5 glasses of wine out of a bottle. That's really limiting someone. I'm not even a huge drinker and I generally have more than one glass of wine if I'm going to drink wine.

You don't sound like a good guest. Enjoying a cocktail and a glass of wine at dinner is plenty when you are a guest in someone's home.

[socalsori1980]

They sound like alcoholics.

[Anonymous]

I'd invite them over less often, and I'd also have DH tell them we're not drinking anymore, so we're no longer having alcohol in our home either. See if they still want to come.

I have no patience for alcoholics or rude guests.

[Anonymous]

If that is the only complaint against your ILs, count yourself lucky.

Go to COSTCO that sells booze and stock up on several hundred dollars worth of wine and beer. Same for the hard liquor and gin. Let them drink. You won't have to run and buy stuff all the time. On the other hand, you guys are also drinking so you have no excuse to go 100% dry.

Let your DH handle it. However, knowing that the consumption is high, I would buy a lot of booze and stock up well so that there is no need to make booze runs.