Big drinkers: what's good hosting vs. beyond typical?

[Anonymous]

Agree w PP, just buy the TJ boxed wines and when they run out, they run out. If they want beer or another type of alcohol that you don't normally consume, they can either buy some themselves or go without while they visit.

What they are consuming is definitely heavy drinker territory. I can sometimes consume that when I am in vacation mode at the beach house. But if this is really what they do at their house on a regular basis (without company around) it does sound like they MAY have a drinking problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For beer and wine - agree they have built up a tolerance but I would probably do a bottle of wine a night, and a couple six packs. If that runs out, they are free to go to the store and As for liquor, anything that was close to being out, I would restocked, otherwise, what you have at home is what is available. Again if they need more they are free to go to the store.

tbh I would be judgmental and say that I wasn't expecting excess drinking and was expecting good manners and for them to know that they don't finish everything the host sets out instead leaving something instead for the host and they take what is served and not demand that they be given more.

This is an insanely rude response, and I don't see where OP ever said they asked for more. OP, simply purchase what you're comfortable providing, and when it's gone, it's gone. But don't take this advice and make remarks about "excess drinking."

[Anonymous]

FIL sounds like an alcoholic.

Be aware that there is a genetic component to alcoholism. If you have children I'd start talking the dangers of drinking in excess.

Understand alcoholism is progressive and in 5 years they will be drinking a lot more.

I put up with this kind of drinking from my Dad for decades. I stopped buying alcohol when my parents came to town and my Dad would go out and buy his own booze to bring to the house. It is okay to set boundaries for yourself.

[Anonymous]

2 beers at lunch + 3 cocktails+ multiple glasses of wine at dinner day after day is alcoholic territory

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If that is the only complaint against your ILs, count yourself lucky.

Go to COSTCO that sells booze and stock up on several hundred dollars worth of wine and beer. Same for the hard liquor and gin. Let them drink. You won't have to run and buy stuff all the time. On the other hand, you guys are also drinking so you have no excuse to go 100% dry.

Let your DH handle it. However, knowing that the consumption is high, I would buy a lot of booze and stock up well so that there is no need to make booze runs.

You know what's funny? Excessive consumption is "no big deal" if it's alcohol.

What if it were desserts? What if they were eating a piece of pie at lunch, 1-3 cupcakes at 5 p.m., and then a half a cake during dinner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that is the only complaint against your ILs, count yourself lucky.

Go to COSTCO that sells booze and stock up on several hundred dollars worth of wine and beer. Same for the hard liquor and gin. Let them drink. You won't have to run and buy stuff all the time. On the other hand, you guys are also drinking so you have no excuse to go 100% dry.

Let your DH handle it. However, knowing that the consumption is high, I would buy a lot of booze and stock up well so that there is no need to make booze runs.

You know what's funny? Excessive consumption is "no big deal" if it's alcohol.

What if it were desserts? What if they were eating a piece of pie at lunch, 1-3 cupcakes at 5 p.m., and then a half a cake during dinner?

Huh? No one would think twice if they were eating too many sweets. It wouldn't even be a DCUM thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that is the only complaint against your ILs, count yourself lucky.

Go to COSTCO that sells booze and stock up on several hundred dollars worth of wine and beer. Same for the hard liquor and gin. Let them drink. You won't have to run and buy stuff all the time. On the other hand, you guys are also drinking so you have no excuse to go 100% dry.

Let your DH handle it. However, knowing that the consumption is high, I would buy a lot of booze and stock up well so that there is no need to make booze runs.

You know what's funny? Excessive consumption is "no big deal" if it's alcohol.

What if it were desserts? What if they were eating a piece of pie at lunch, 1-3 cupcakes at 5 p.m., and then a half a cake during dinner?

Huh? No one would think twice if they were eating too many sweets. It wouldn't even be a DCUM thread.

You've got to be joking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that is the only complaint against your ILs, count yourself lucky.

Go to COSTCO that sells booze and stock up on several hundred dollars worth of wine and beer. Same for the hard liquor and gin. Let them drink. You won't have to run and buy stuff all the time. On the other hand, you guys are also drinking so you have no excuse to go 100% dry.

Let your DH handle it. However, knowing that the consumption is high, I would buy a lot of booze and stock up well so that there is no need to make booze runs.

You know what's funny? Excessive consumption is "no big deal" if it's alcohol.

What if it were desserts? What if they were eating a piece of pie at lunch, 1-3 cupcakes at 5 p.m., and then a half a cake during dinner?

Huh? No one would think twice if they were eating too many sweets. It wouldn't even be a DCUM thread.

You've got to be joking.

Hmm. Which is worse in DCUM’s eyes, being fat or an alcoholic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that is the only complaint against your ILs, count yourself lucky.

Go to COSTCO that sells booze and stock up on several hundred dollars worth of wine and beer. Same for the hard liquor and gin. Let them drink. You won't have to run and buy stuff all the time. On the other hand, you guys are also drinking so you have no excuse to go 100% dry.

Let your DH handle it. However, knowing that the consumption is high, I would buy a lot of booze and stock up well so that there is no need to make booze runs.

You know what's funny? Excessive consumption is "no big deal" if it's alcohol.

What if it were desserts? What if they were eating a piece of pie at lunch, 1-3 cupcakes at 5 p.m., and then a half a cake during dinner?

Huh? No one would think twice if they were eating too many sweets. It wouldn't even be a DCUM thread.

You've got to be joking.

Hmm. Which is worse in DCUM’s eyes, being fat or an alcoholic?

I mean, if I didn't think it wouldn't be a waste of Jeff's time to post a thread that was totally false, I would post a "Big dessert eaters: what's good hosting vs. beyond typical" with those exact scenarios just to prove the guy who think "no one would think twice" of that kind of consumption. I guarantee people would go nuts.

But again, magically somehow, you can drink 7-8 drinks in one night and no one bats an eye, but if you ate 7-8 cupcakes in one night and the hellfire would rain down from DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ILs are big drinkers, at least around us--both at our home and when we visit them or we see them at family gatherings. "Cocktail hour" every night with 1-3 drinks each, and always wine or beer with dinner. FIL drinks at least a beer at lunch, if not two.

We prepare for their arrival by buying plenty of groceries to make meals and have snacks on hand we know they like. We also go to the liquor store and stock up.

More and more, DH and I find ourselves going back to the liquor store once or twice during their visits. We do drink, but not a lot, so we have some items in our bar/wine cabinet, but we don't drink as much or the same amount as they do. I know what kind of wines they like to go with what kind of meal, and even the kind of cocktails they prefer in summer vs. winter.

This last visit, I didn't lose my patience in any way they could see, but man, I'm kind of over it. In four nights, they chugged their way through seven bottles of wine (DH and I only had one glass each on two of the nights), FIL went through TWO six-packs of beer, and they drank all of the gin and tonic we had on hand, as well as some Jack Daniels left over from a visit from my dad. When FIL realized I was going back to the liquor store, he asked for an expensive Scotch, with no offer to pay. They also never bring so much as a bottle of wine.

At what point is it "being a good host" versus footing a high bill for big drinkers? We always bring a bottle of wine when we see them and never drink them dry. Is this excessive? Should we just say oh well when they drink it all? They know how to find a liquor store in our town.

My family are pretty big drinkers and when we get together, it's a lot of wine and beer and late nights. That said, for a multi-day visit, the guests would definitely offer to do at least one liquor store/grocery store run. So, i don't think your ILs behavior is typical in my experience.

That said, I would probably just deal with it if they only come a couple of times a year. If it's more than that, maybe start just letting the booze run out, or buying cheaper stuff and pointing them to that after they drink everything else. It doesn't sound like they're picky

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 beers at lunch + 3 cocktails+ multiple glasses of wine at dinner day after day is alcoholic territory

Do they drink like this all the time, or just during the visits? I agree it's a LOT but maybe they see their trips to visit OP as vacation/party mode.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For beer and wine - agree they have built up a tolerance but I would probably do a bottle of wine a night, and a couple six packs. If that runs out, they are free to go to the store and As for liquor, anything that was close to being out, I would restocked, otherwise, what you have at home is what is available. Again if they need more they are free to go to the store.

tbh I would be judgmental and say that I wasn't expecting excess drinking and was expecting good manners and for them to know that they don't finish everything the host sets out instead leaving something instead for the host and they take what is served and not demand that they be given more.

Ok well you are insanely rude. OP, follow this advice if you want to never see your ILs again.

[Anonymous]

I just can't believe they come empty handed.

We visited some friends over MDW and came with 2 bottles of wine and a 6 pack. We went through a little more as they had stocked up too, but not much.

But I probably wouldn't stock up, if they couldn't be bothered to fund their own habit... which I'm sure they are funding at home.

[Anonymous]

That's just gross. Both the amount they consume and the fact that they don't bring so much as a bottle of wine with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stock what you think is appropriate. For a four-night visit that includes four adults, buy four bottles of wine, one six-pack of beer, one bottle of gin, one bottle of tonic water, and four limes.

If they ask for more, say "We like Smith's Liquors on Broadway. It's right by the CVS, you won't miss it."

You don't sound like a wine drinker. A bottle a night for four people is little more than a glass per person. In most cases, with a standard sized bottle and a standard sized pour, you should get about 5 glasses of wine out of a bottle. That's really limiting someone. I'm not even a huge drinker and I generally have more than one glass of wine if I'm going to drink wine.

LOL at "limiting someone" who has already had, as OP mentioned, 1 to *3* cocktails at 5. If you have two gin and tonics you don't need a half-bottle of wine, for real. Especially if you had beer at lunch. And OP also said she and her husband don't drink every night, and when they do, it's one glass.

Actually, OP said "We do drink, but not a lot, so we have some items in our bar/wine cabinet, but we don't drink as much or the same amount as they do." She didn't say they only drink when glass when they do drink. She just said they only drank one glass that particular night.

Nobody is suggesting you have multiple cocktails, beer, etc. This particular discussion was only about wine, and that generally speaking one bottle of wine among four adults is not much for people who drink wine.